Page 31 of Falling for the Enemy

When the facts were laid out like that, I was the one who felt off. It was obvious that I was supposed to know Frank, but I didn't. I’d asked the doctor if my memories would come back, and he said that they were hopeful that they would. I was given a lesson on brain anatomy and how there were all these secrets locked in the brain that they didn't understand. At the end of the day, it was a big maybe and a general nod of one’s shoulders. I had no idea how this was going to turn out. Apparently, I was just supposed to wait and see.

Frank left not too long after that embarrassing display for mom and I told her that it was uncalled for. She said that I had no idea what I was doing to him.

“What I'm doing to him? I'm the one lying in the hospital bed.” I reminded her, waving my hands around the room and the situation I’d been in. I was the one who had lost a half a year of my life, my job, my husband, my grandmother. It was too much!

“Yes, you are the one in the bed, and he's the one who’s been sitting next to you for the last three months. He has been here for every major decision and you basically just told him that you don't even know him. He loves you, Amber, he loves you in a way that your husband never did. I couldn't believe when he started coming to the hospital. He has been better to you than I would have ever imagined. Here’s a good one, Amber. Don't mess it up.”

That was the mom I remembered, and I gave her a dirty look. Of course, I was supposed to think about other people's feelings and have none of my own.

“Why did he leave me?” I asked in a small voice.

“He left because you told him to go, honey. Do you want me to call him back?” Mom suggested, thinking that I was talking about Frank. I wasn’t. I didn’t even know Frank, so how could I wonder anything about him?

I shook my head. “No, not him, Robert. Why did he leave me? Why did we get a divorce?”

She moved to the side of the bed and held my hand for a moment. “He didn't leave you honey, you left him.”

That definitely didn't sound like me, so the next natural question was what had happened. She told me that he had been cheating with someone at work, even though I was supposed to already know it. I had already divorced the man because of it, but I still felt the pain knowing that my husband was cheating on me or had been cheating on me, because now, he wasn't even my husband anymore. It was all so confusing, and I told Mom that I needed to lie down. I needed to rest until my head stopped swimming. This felt like a nightmare, this couldn't be my life.

28

Frank

Istormed out of the hospital, not knowing what to say or do. The place felt like a second home to me now and I usually stayed until late in the night. Now though, I left work in a frantic hurry to come see Amber, the woman I had been waiting for, praying for, everything that I could imagine. She was the woman carrying my child, but now she didn't even remember me?! I had to give it to the universe, it really had perfected the low blow. I thought back on my other failed relationship, never thinking that Amber and I would be in the same category, but we were. Was this not just another way she refused my love and affection? How could she not remember me, remember us? Did it really mean nothing to her?

I got on a plane, called my friend Jeremy, and we went out drinking. He was surprised to see me, considering that I had pretty much been ignoring everything at home. I had barely been home at all the last few months. I changed jobs, took a sabbatical from the factory. It had been all about Amber and her getting better. Now, I wondered what any of it was for.

“Your lady is alright though, isn't she?”

I started to agree because it's not like I really wanted to say any of it out loud but who else could I talk to about it? Her mom? Her sister? I needed to talk to somebody who was on my side and could see things for the way they were. This was messed up. Anybody on the outside could see how messed up this was. I knew that Jeremy would see my side of things.

“I don’t even know if I have a lady anymore. She doesn’t remember me.”

He just looked at me strange, like he couldn’t compute the words that were coming out of my mouth. To be fair, I was having a hell of a time with it as well.

“What do you mean that she doesn’t remember you?”

I sighed. “Just what I said, she doesn’t remember me at all. Can you believe it?”

He said that he couldn’t and then slowly asked about the baby she was carrying.

“Well, she didn’t know about that. She still thinks that she is married to Robert. She doesn’t even remember moving out here to Ohio at all.”

“So, what did you do?”

I shrugged and took another drink. “I came home. What else was I supposed to do?”

Jeremy looked at me like I was crazy. He told me that I was wrong, and I should get back over there.

“What are you talking about, didn't you hear me? She doesn't even remember me!” I was letting my voice get louder. It was mainly ego I know, but how could she not remember us?

“She doesn't remember you now, that doesn't mean that she's not going to remember you later. And you're going to be here. Don't be like me. I had a woman a long time ago who made me feel the way that Amber makes you feel. It's probably the happiest I've ever been in my life, but things got hard and I just left.”

I’d never heard this story before. “What are you talking about?”

“Tina.”

“Tina? You're talking about Tina from the library? Isn't she married to Ricky Vance now?”

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