“Not a lot of none?” He was asking me straight up and I shouldn't have been so afraid to tell the truth. There was nothing to be embarrassed about, but then again, I couldn't bear for some other reactions I had gotten before when I had said such a thing. I didn't think I would be able to handle his annoyance when he realized that I wasn't going to give it up so quickly to him either. It bothered me in the past when it happened, and it would seem even more devastating if it was Tyrell.
He got a phone call and asked if we could talk about it later. It was to my relief that he did, but then he kissed me on the way out and left me confused about all of it. Tyrell now knew my secret, he had to, so was that why he left?
I didn't know what I was worried about, but thankfully it wasn't as bad as I expected. There were a few seconds where I wanted to tell him to stay and just figure it out, but I had stilled my tongue. I was back and forth and not sure of anything. The two of us alone together, always turned into something more. Was I ready to go there with Tyrell?
It seemed so simple to just call to Tyrell and have him come back. A few words and I would finally know what I’d been running from all this time. I wanted to do just that, call him back to me, but it didn’t happen. I couldn’t get it out and then too much time had passed.
Tyrell asked me out again the next day and I told him then I had to go back to work, and he asked me if I had any time off. I didn't have much and I told him that I would look into it, but I knew that I wasn't going to agree to it. He was too dangerous. Tyrell had my mind going in a million different directions and even though I was sure that I wanted to see what would become of the two of us, there was still hesitation. How could there not be? I told him that I would see if there was time in my schedule for next week, but I didn’t promise anything. I couldn’t ask for time off just to spend time with him. Whatever was happening between us, it was the unknown for me, and I was still trying to get used to the idea of it.
Tyrell didn't say anything else out of the way, but it was quite clear to me that he did not like to be told no. He had this look on his face like he honestly didn’t believe I’d said it, but I had said it and then he just shook it off like I obviously didn't know what I was thinking. If I had to bet, I would say that Tyrell didn’t know how to respond, because he had never been in that situation before. Did he really live such a charmed life that he had never been told no? I knew the answer as soon as I thought it. Yeah, Tyrell had it like that.
9
Tyrell
As I was getting home the next Tuesday, I felt off and I knew deep down that there was something wrong. Justine was late. It wasn't that she had a date or she was getting coffee with a girlfriend. There was something wrong and I couldn't shake it. No matter how many times I told myself that I was making something out of nothing, this feeling was gnawing at me until finally, I called her. I didn't want to be that guy, the one that couldn't take no for an answer and push where I shouldn't push.
It was from another nurse at the hospital that I learned what had happened and why she wasn’t back yet. Justine hadn’t made it back home yet because she was in an altercation with a patient, and she was seeking treatment at the moment. My first thought was fear, because I was so afraid that something had happened to her, and I wasn't able to keep her safe. I needed to protect her, like she had protected me.
I asked if she was still at the hospital and when I found out that she was, all I could think to do was go up there and see her, see with my own eyes that she was alright. What I found when I got there though, did not make me feel any better about the situation. Justine had a mark on her throat. The guy hadn’t just grabbed her, he had choked her and from the looks of it, he had almost succeeded. There was an angry red mark all the way around her neck and seeing it sent me into a tailspin. I wanted to know who the guy was who had done it, and my first thought was I was going to go wrap my hands around his throat. Justine didn't deserve it. She was just there to help, and I couldn’t believe somebody had done that to her. Didn’t they know that she was special?
Justine saw me and smiled, putting her hand up to calm me down. She must have known that I needed it. I was livid. “It's okay, Tyrell. It always looks worse than it is.”
She was sitting up on the side of the bed and she had her regular clothes on, like she was getting ready to leave. “I doubt that's the case this time. It doesn't look good at all.”
Justine agreed and winced, subconsciously touching her neck where the bruises were already starting to show up. I couldn't believe that this had happened. I hugged her quickly, knowing that this wasn't the time or place to show such affection. I didn't even know what we were, because I hadn't gotten anything set in stone yet. I wanted to kiss her, I wanted it to be a situation where I could kiss her, but instead I stayed back after a moment, so that the desire didn't outweigh the reality that I wasn't supposed to.
“Who did this? Where is he?”
She started to tell me and then finally looked at me. She must have realized why I wanted the information to begin with. I wasn't on a fact-finding mission; I was out for justice.
“You're not going to do anything, Tyrell. I'm about to leave and you can give me a ride home, alright? That’s all the help I need right now.”
“Is he going to be charged at least?”
Justine looked away. “It wasn't like that. He was on something when we gave him something else and the reaction made him a little crazy for a little bit. He's been sedated and I don't see any need of ruining his life over this.”
She was going to let it go! I couldn't believe it. Actually, I could. Justine had some bleeding heart that I certainly didn't have, and letting it go didn’t sit well with me at all. Somebody hurt her and it wasn't okay just to let it go. I smiled, told her that, of course, I would take her home and she didn't have to be the wiser when I came back later this evening and met the man who did this to her face to face. He better be full of sorrow, or I was going to make sure that he was by the time I left. Nobody got to do that to Justine and walk away unscathed. I could pay somebody right now to end him, but I wanted to do it personally.
Since Justine worked at the hospital, she didn't have to go through the same rigamarole to get out. She didn't even have to sign off, probably didn't even have a file on her of the incident. All of her co-workers came into her room to give her encouragement before she left, and I could tell that they knew Justine was special. She touched many lives, just like she had mine, but I still liked to think that we were different. What was between Justine and me was different. She was supposed to be mine and the fierce feeling of protection that came over me and the general fear that had swung through my body when I found out she was hurt told me all that I needed to know.
As we were driving back to our neighborhood, I suggested that she stay with me for a little bit, just until she was feeling better. I didn’t want to come on too strong, but damn I wanted her in my sight.
“I'm fine, Tyrell, really, it just looks worse than it is,” Justine insisted.
I shook my head. It wasn't fine. Someone had tried to choke her to death right in the middle of the hospital. They had pulled him off of her, but it had been too late. There was now a bruise strung all the way around her neck. I couldn't even imagine the force that was put on her to achieve such a mark. Why wasn't she more upset about it? I was livid, I didn't want her working at the hospital anymore. I definitely didn't want her to be working with the hopped-up drunks that came in off the street at the emergency room. She was back in the ER where she started and where she said she liked to be, but it came with too many negatives in my opinion. It just wasn't worth it. There was no way that any of it was worth it.
“Yeah, but when something happens, aren’t you supposed to stay up and be with somebody to make sure you don't fall asleep?” I know I'd heard that somewhere in the movies or something. I definitely didn't have any medical training, barely made it my freshman year of college before I dropped out. I was holding on to that small factoid that I watched in a romcom with a chick or something. I needed to stay with her, so that I could keep watch over. That's it.
Justine shook her head and smiled. “No, it's with a concussion. I didn't hit my head, I was choked.”
“Yeah, but blood flow to the brain was stopped. You should just come over for a little while, so that I can make sure you're really alright.” I hoped that she was starting to get that I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
“Daniel said he was going to check in on me later.”
“Daniel doesn't need to come. I’m right here.”
She pressed her lips together and agreed that she would come by for a little bit. There was that hesitation again but still I pushed it. I could see that something was holding her back, I didn't know what it was, but I knew there was something there and I ignored it. I didn't want her to be with Daniel, whoever Daniel was. I thought this was the opportunity where we could finally get close. I should have felt bad about the false pretense, but I didn't. Whatever I had to do, whatever work I had to do to get the woman I was so sure was mine, had to be worth it.