“If I said no, would it make you feel better?”
I scoffed. “Of course, it would, but you do remember. I can see it in your eyes.”
“What are my eyes telling you?”
What they were telling me, there was no way I could say it out loud, and I just kind of shrugged. “That you remember well what I told you. I shouldn't have said it. I don't know what was going on with me. It just came out.” My voice trailed off with my gaze.
He chuckled. “Is it really so bad that I know?”
“Yes,” I said adamantly. There was nothing good coming from this. “You must think I'm weird.”
Tyrell disagreed. “Do you really think that's what men think?”
“I think at first they like the idea of it. They like thinking that they will be the first one that I give myself to. But very quickly they also realize that I'm not going to give in to them either. After a bit of time, men always get mad, and then I don't see them again. So yeah, I imagine I know what you're thinking.”
He pressed his lips together and just from that, I knew he was thinking that exact thing.
“There's nothing wrong with it, you know. I don't want to say I'm used to it, but I guess I am.”
“I don't know who told you what, to make you think the way you do about it, but you are right in one sense. I do want to be your first. You are wrong about the other part. I want more than just you giving in to me. I could have had that last night.”
“Why didn't you?” I remembered that part as well. He had left as I was starting to straddle his body as we’d kissed. Tyrell very well could have had me. I wanted to keep going. For some reason though, he had stopped it from happening.
I remembered being frustrated with his decision, but now I wondered if it was him being chivalrous. From the way he talked about it, he definitely realized that it could have happened, and I wasn't going to argue with him. It very well could have.
“I want you to remember the first time we're together. You kept talking about getting it over with, but I don't feel that way at all. I feel like it's something to be savored and revered. The only way that's going to happen, is if you take the time.”
Why did his words make me shake on the inside? “I've got to get to work.” Clearly, I wanted to get space between us.
“Can I have one thing before you go?”
I turned around and asked what he wanted.
“I was wondering if you are going to let me kiss you again. I don't know if you remember it, but it was good. You really should remember our kiss, so we should do it again.”
Now, everything inside of me trembled. He was making me feel good, just like he said he would, and he hadn’t even touched me. Just the idea of it had me going into overdrive.
“You want to kiss?” I asked, making sure that I heard him right.
“Yes, desperately.”
Why did it sound so wrong on his lips? I didn't think that Tyrell was the sort that had been desperate a day in his life. So why did it sound so good, passing through his lips?
“Fine, if it is just a kiss.”
He said that it would be, and I waited for him to move closer, but he didn’t make a move until I started to lean in. Now, I was so turned on at the moment that I could feel my body pressing against his and getting lost as if we were becoming one. I didn’t know how he was capable of doing this to me, making me so crazy, but I really was lost in the moment. I didn't know what I was thinking, how I thought this could ever just be a kiss. His lips moved down on mine, and I was giving in to his desires right then and there.
Tyrell seemed as surprised by my submission as I was and he immediately started to deepen the kiss, his lips brutal on mine, making them bruise with the intensity of it all. It was shocking how badly I needed him, how badly he needed me.
Then he pulled back, releasing me, breaking the spell that he had cast over me, and I heard myself whimper. I hated the sound of it, but I couldn't help it. “Why did you stop?”
He was still just an inch from me. “Because you have to go to work, remember?”
I was wondering how farfetched it would be to think that I could get another night off. Maybe I could use it to get more time off, since my job was so dangerous.
I didn't necessarily avoid Tyrell on my way to work, but I looked out my window and waited a few minutes until he was back in his house before I left. I didn't think I could take another run in, or another kiss, even if it was requested so politely.
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