Iwas in the courtroom, the last place I wanted to be, but I didn't have a choice. It was sentencing day and surprisingly, Monica had pled guilty to arson and now she was going to be sentenced for her crime. It was strange to see the woman that I had talked to so many times in the hospital in an orange jumpsuit. She had been deemed a flight risk and made to stay in jail during the proceedings. I think that Tyrell had something to do with it, but I dared not ask such things. I didn't know why. It's not like I was afraid of the answer or anything, but I was thankful that she had had to pay a little bit for her crimes. The woman had ruined my life and that was hard to forgive and forget. I was there to give a victim’s impact statement and I was nervous.
By the time I was supposed to go up there, I heard the courtroom door open, and I looked back to see who it was, just like everybody else. Tyrell walked in and I turned back around immediately. He wasn't supposed to be there. What was he doing there?
I was prepared to come face to face with Monica, but I was not prepared to come face to face with Tyrell. I had not seen him since I found out about him calling that hospital. I went back to work my normal schedule in my normal place, and I had stayed with Jamie until I got enough cash to get my own place. Taking on the rental was a painful step back, but the restitution would help me rebuild. Tyrell was a whole other subject, and I was keeping something from him that he would want to know. I wasn't going to be able to keep it from him for long, if he planned on staying. Some secrets were meant to be told. One way or another it would be found out.
I read the statement, tried to forget who I was in the courtroom, and did my best to answer any questions that were sent my way. It was hard not to be very aware of Tyrell right next to me. It was very complicated indeed.
The judge had a few words, and he said how despicable it was, and when he heard that it was over a relationship, he said it was even more sickening. While I liked to hear someone giving Monica shit, it wasn't quite as life-altering as I thought it would be. She was going to have to pay up and apparently, she was going to have to do a little time in jail, but I didn't think she had truly learned her lesson. People like Monica never did. I’d known plenty of people like her and I knew that they never changed.
After sentencing was done, I felt a little lighter because I didn't have the dread of this thing over my head anymore. She had been arrested quite quickly after I left Tyrell's house. I didn't know if he had anything to do with it or not, but I had a feeling he did. The cop said that somebody had given them evidence against the person who had really done it, which meant that I was no longer a suspect. Now the insurance would pay out, even though it wasn't enough, and I was able to move on with my life.
I was walking back to my car, and if I was honest, I was probably going a bit faster than I should have, but I was trying to get out of there before I ran into Tyrell. I wasn’t sure what he wanted, but I knew that I wasn’t ready for any conversation with him. It had been months since I’d seen him, and he could still make my stomach tie itself in knots.
“Are you really going to run off without saying anything to me?”
I was doing exactly that, and I told Tyrell that I would really rather be alone. He didn’t take my words into account, he never did. That's one of the reasons that we could never be together. I wasn't saying all that though. Instead, I asked him what he was doing.
“I knew that you had to be here.”
I scoffed. “Congratulations, you found me.”
“You don't sound too happy to be found.”
“What do you want, Tyrell?” I really couldn’t do the back and forth with him. It messed with me too much.
I’d been so worked up and I hadn't even realized that I was turned toward him, and he could see all of me now, my coat open and parted in the middle, burgeoning belly of the baby I was carrying on full display. I could tell the very moment that he saw it.
“What the hell?”
Tyrell was shocked and rightfully so. I had to tell him, but it hadn't been as easy as I would have liked. It had taken me several months to even realize that I was pregnant because I had been so busy burying myself in work, trying to forget about Tyrell and everything that happened. The problem was, I was pregnant, and I kept putting off telling him because it was such a nightmare really. The man that I adored was suddenly someone that I could no longer even talk to, let alone talk to him about a baby. I convinced myself that he wouldn’t care, but looking at his face now and the reaction I was getting, he definitely cared. I had kept this from him and for that, I felt guilty.
“I didn't think you were going to be here.”
It was lame, but that was literally all I could come up with. I could have kept going and said that had I known he was coming, I would have worn something a bit bigger and baggier, so that he wouldn't have known that I was pregnant. I was hiding it from him, didn’t he understand that?
He was staring, his mouth open partially, and I could just imagine what was going through his head. Nothing good, I'm sure of it.
“You're pregnant?”
There was no point in denying it. I agreed that I was and he just kind of looked at me funny. “Why didn't you tell me about my baby?”
There were several assumptions that he made simultaneously that I didn't like. Why did he think that this was his baby? He had no idea what happened after I left. It was his, of course. I hadn’t been with anybody else, but I didn't like him saying it that way, and I certainly didn't like him saying anything about his baby. He just found out about it. How was he trying to claim my baby already? I told Tyrell that this was my baby.
“But it’s mine too, isn’t it?”
I agreed that it was because there was no point in lying. We were still standing outside of the courthouse and Tyrell looked around, like he was suddenly aware of how we were surrounded.
“This is not the place to talk about this,” he said.
“Where is the place to?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t we get some coffee down the road?” I suggested, figuring that it was a neutral place and that’s what we needed.
Tyrell shook his head. “Would you let me show you something?”
He had a smile on his face, and I groaned. “I’ve already seen that.”