Page 13 of Certified Heartthrob

“Of course not,” I retorted. “Because it doesn’t exist.”

“I vote for a change of subject number two.”

“You never answered my first question.” I swirled my wine around in front of my lips, waiting.

“I told you…”

“Just because you haven’t made time for fun doesn’t mean you don’t have some idea of what gets you going.”

Her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink at my choice of words. “I like museums. My father used to take us out sailing, and I enjoyed that, too. Of course, his debtors seized all of our boats before I ever had the chance to take it up myself.”

“Sailing.” I nodded, picturing her in all white with a sweater tied around her neck. “I can see that.”

Her brow furrowed. “And you? What...gets you going, as you put it?”

A smile spread across my lips. At that moment, I had to admit it was Camille that was getting me going. But I had a feeling that answer wouldn’t go over too well.

I rambled on about golf and hiking for a while, and suggested she try her hand at golf. I couldn’t see her getting down and dirty in the woods, but I also had a feeling there were some things about her I didn’t know. Things she kept buried deep down under that hard exterior.

“Next question,” I proposed once that topic faded. “What really brought you to my doorstep?”

She stared back at me cluelessly. “There’s no way you were asked to come and see me in person,” I added. “Nor does it exactly seem like the most efficient way of dealing with internet trolls. Surely I’m not your only one.”

“You’re the most determined and relentless one.”

“Thanks!”

“That wasn’t a compliment,” she groaned. “Anyway, I told you on the phone. You’re a customer...just like any other. And if you’re unsatisfied with the services we’re providing, it’s my job to ensure that improves. Therefore, I’m determined to change your mind about dating.”

“Well, you’re off to a great start,” I admitted. “This is a far better dinner than any I’ve had since I signed up on the website.”

“This isn’t a date.”

“Dinner. Date. What’s the difference?”

“There’s a difference, I assure you,” she huffed. “What made you sign up, anyway?”

We were several glasses of wine in now, and my mouth was firing off before I had a chance to think better of it. “My friends convinced me to after…”

She perked up, knowing she had caught me. I didn’t have to finish the sentence. The tone of my voice told her everything. The big heartbreak that had turned me so jaded and bitter, just as she’d accused. I waited for her to gloat and interrogate me more, and was surprised when she stopped herself.

“They can put the bottle of wine on my tab,” she offered instead.

“I don’t need your pity.”

“I didn’t order a very good one. That’s the only thing I feel sorry for, and I don’t expect you to pay for it.”

As much as I wanted to argue, I appreciated her not battering me about my admission. I didn’t want to push it and risk opening up the whole can of worms. Besides, I knew she was keeping her own secrets. I decided she could keep hers if I could keep mine.

“Well, in that case...what do you say I order another one? A better one.”

The edges of her lips curled. “Deal.”

Several more glasses of wine later, we were laughing up a storm. When we weren’t bickering in a verbal sparring match, we were telling jokes and stories. There was a perfect conversational rhythm that I had to admit gave me a certain thrill.

“So. Let’s say this was one of your botched internet dates,” she said. “What do you say exactly that pisses these girls off so much? Enough to run home and write angry reviews and delete the app?”

“I tell them the truth,” I replied. “That love is a lie. In more words, of course, but...every time, it pisses them off.”

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