Page 73 of The Confidant
I nodded, hating the fact that just thinking about Hunter caused tears to prick at my eyes. “Things got tricky a couple of weeks ago and—” My voice wobbled, and I dabbed at the corners of my eyes with my fingertips. “And I don’t think they’ll ever be the same.”
“Did he hurt you?” Mom furrowed her brow. “Because if he did, I’m going to march right up to the Blackwell’s penthouse tonight and tell them they need to talk to their son.”
“He didn’t do anything to me,” I hurried to say. “It’s complicated and…” I drifted off. When my mom had been an active member of The Fold, she’d been more of a cafeteria member. She’d been raised by very nuanced parents and had been taught that it was okay to pick and choose which commandments and teachings she wanted to apply to her life—throwing out the things she didn’t connect with or want to believe in.
She never understood that things actually were black and white and that it was important to follow all of the commandments the High Priests had revealed to us if we wanted to have all the blessings in the next life.
So if I told her that Hunter and I were having problems because I couldn’t see a future with someone who was on a different page with his beliefs, she wouldn’t understand.
I mean, she was dating Rodney—a guy who was agnostic and claimed that the spiritual workings of the universe were unknowable. She couldn’t care less that the guy she considered her soulmate wanted nothing to do with religion, even though she’d always told me that she would “probably come back to church someday.”
It just wasn’t something that was important to her right now.
“Is it complicated because he’s stepped away from The Fold?” Mom asked when I didn’t finish my thought.
My eyebrows knitted together. “How did you know about that?”
She started to walk down the sidewalk again. “His mom came by a few weeks ago to ask me why I stopped attending church. I guess they came across some disturbing information and were wondering if I’d heard about it, too.”
“What did you say?” Had my mom read whatever Hunter and his parents had read and just not ever said anything about it?
“I told them that I’d never heard of the things they were talking about.” Mom looked at me. “I guess they were having issues with Samuel Williams and the early church—along with some of the things they thought the church was behind the times on.”
They wanted the church to shift its doctrine to fit in with the ever-changing world? Didn’t they realize that God made the rules, not man?
“Anyway,” Mom continued, “I told them I stopped going mostly because I didn’t fit the mold of a pastor’s wife or even as a regular member of the church. That I’ve always been wired differently since it wasn’t giving me the spiritual upliftment it seemed to give everyone else on Sunday.”
“Is that all you talked about?” I asked, curious what else they may have said. “Did they ask you to read the anti-Fold material they were reading?”
Had they seen the chinks in my mom’s belief and tried to pull her further away?
“They know I never knew enough about the doctrine to really care about any of that stuff.” Mom shrugged. “But I guess they’ve been doing a ton of studying—Hunter, too—which is why I wondered if that was the reason you two were having a hard time. Has he been pushing you to research the church the way he has and it’s making you uncomfortable?”
“He sent me a link to a website when I asked him to read Visitations with Jehovah once more,” I said. “But nothing since then.”
“Did you read what he sent?” she asked, sounding simply curious and not like she cared whether I had or hadn’t read it.
“I knew better than to open it.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you looked. It sounded like some pretty interesting stuff.” Mom shrugged again. “But like I said, a lot of what they were saying was over my head. I just told them that I saw The Fold as a good place to raise a family. I’ve always been fine with your father taking the reins in your spiritual education—it’s what he does for a living, after all—and I’ve focused more on making sure you were getting the best education for everything else.” She glanced sideways at me. “As well as trying to keep you from burning yourself out.” She paused and seemed to remember why we’d started talking about this stuff in the first place. “But that’s too bad that this has come between you and Hunter.”
“Yeah…” It sucked.
“And you don’t think there’s a way to reconcile?” she asked. “Because I may be out of touch on a lot of things, but I know that boy cares about you. A friendship like yours doesn’t come around every day. Your father and I were never really friends, which is another reason why we didn’t work out. And I know that you see things differently than me, but I just figure that you only get one life that we know of. You might as well make the most of it. Stop worrying so much about the future and focus on what’s right here in front of you. Because if you ask me, what you and Hunter have is worth figuring out.”
“Too bad that is much easier said than done.” It seemed pointless now when we were basically on opposite ends of things. He wanted nothing to do with the church, and I knew it was something I could never leave.
We made it to the restaurant where we planned to eat dinner, and as we waited to be seated, my mom said, “I do know that this whole experience has been quite hard on Hunter. Having his parents so against his choice initially and taking away his trust fund had to make him feel so alone.”
“His parents took away his trust fund?” I stared at my mom, consciously having to keep my jaw from dropping.
“He didn’t tell you?” Mom frowned, like she assumed Hunter had told me all the details of what brought him to where he was now.
“I didn’t really know anything about this until a few weeks ago,” I admitted. “Not until after I confronted him about why his parents stopped going to church.”
Why hadn’t he told me any of this?
“I wouldn’t take it too personally.” Mom patted my back gently. “I’m sure he didn’t say anything about it because he needed time to figure things out before announcing such a big change. From what I hear, it has been quite the process. Hundreds of hours of study. And with a family as strong as the Blackwells, I’m sure it was something he didn’t want to take lightly.”
