Page 11 of Indiscretion: Reckless Sin
“You could never. AJ, I really care about you. I just hate that you won’t let me show you how much. We’ve been friends since freshman year. In all that time, you’ve never once felt anything more for me?”
“Ranger, I don’t want to hurt you,” I urge quietly, feeling the tears well up once more. “You mean so much to me, but my heart… I’m just not built to love you the way that you deserve to be loved. All I can offer you is my friendship.” The soul crushing sorrow in his gaze makes me wish things could be different for him. For me. For us. “Please believe me when I say that you don’t want to tie yourself to me. I’d hate myself if I ruined you.”
“You could never ruin me—”
“That’s all I do!” My voice comes out a soft screech as I try to reign in my emotions. “Trust me. God, please believe me when I say anyone who truly gets close to me gets hurt. I’m not good for anyone.”
“I don’t believe you,” he grinds out, the stubborn set of his jaw letting me know he’s serious. “I feel like you’re giving me excuses because you can’t just own up to the fact that you don’t want me. I just want to know why I’m not good enough. What can I do?”
“You aren’t listening, Range. I’m the one who’s not good enough. I am my father’s daughter through and through. No matter how hard I try, I let myself get too caught up in things and I unintentionally hurt the people I love. I’d rather you be mad at me now for turning you down than resenting me later for failing to give you what you need, what youdeserve. Everyone deserves to be loved wholly and completely, you especially, and I can’t offer that to you no matter how wonderful you are.”
“You’re right. Everyone should experience that kind of love, including you. Will you just let me prove it to you? Please? I’m asking for just one chance.”
“She said no. I think it’s time you walked away.” A voice sounds from behind me. A very familiar voice that sends chills down my spine.
Rebel.
Rangers face pinches like he’s smelled something unpleasant as he turns slightly to face the muscular force of sheer alpha male. The disgruntled look turns to pure venom when Reb locks his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. He reaches out for my hand and I get stuck in this awkward tug of war situation. Or I would if Ranger could budge me from the place Rebel has locked me into. He’s not a small guy at six foot one or six foot two, but Rebel’s got him beat by a couple of inches and when I turn to see the deadly gleam in his eye, it’s a wonder Ranger hasn’t run for the hills.
“Rebel, let go,” I say at the same time I try to pull my hand from Ranger’s grasp. “Both of you, knock it off.Please. This is ridiculous,” I huff out my frustration but neither of them are listening. Instead choosing to do this weird posturing thing that I don’t care to be a part of. I just want to go back home and cry for a few hours before I have to go to work.
“Let her go,” Ranger growls, yanking on my arm hard enough that I worry it’ll pop out of the socket. I let out an involuntary cry of pain and only then do they both let go for fear of really hurting me, Ranger’s eyes widening at his fault in the situation.
I take a second to roll my shoulder and then check the space out around me, making sure I haven’t dropped my phone on the ground. When I look back up at the two guys, they’re back to glaring at each other in some sort of standoff but Rebel talks to me without losing eye contact with his new enemy.
“Cyan is waiting at the North entrance to take you home, Little Princess.”
“No.”
“Don’t push your luck babe, or you’ll find that I’ll be far less kind and I’ll swing that luscious ass of yours up on my shoulder and caveman it all the way through the streets of New York—just like I used to do back home,” he smirks at the memory. “At least you know Cyan will be a gentleman. Well, mostly,” he chuckles, his smirk turning into a mischievous grin as he finally looks my way.
One look into his deep teal eyes and I know he’s telling the truth. He really would pick me up and manhandle me all around. He started doing it when we were about ten years old and he saw my dad do it to my mom. Back when we were still young enough to believe that the world was made up of friendship, love, and rock ‘n’ roll—just like our parent’s world back before everything imploded and we knew the truth of it all.
I take in the man before me, imagining how he went from the puberty stricken teenage boy to the sexy badass in front of me. Standing tall and strong. His tan, tattooed muscles are showcased proudly in his stark white hoodie with the sleeves cut off and black torn up skinny jeans. His white Adidas are as white and clean as his top, with their signature three parallel black stripes. Everything about him, down to the double nose piercing on his left nostril screams grunge rocker, but like, in the most expensive way possible. His fauxhawk is no longer the dark brown it once was, now inky black with a turquoise coloring on the ends to match his eyes.
He’s breathtaking. Everything inside of me begs to let me have one more chance with the guy who’s heart I’ve already broken once before. Instead, I turn from him and walk away, just like I’d done the last time.
“I won’t let you walk away from me like you did when we were younger,” he yells after me, reading my mind at the all too familiar situation. “You won’t be able to disappear again.” I feel him at my back and my shoulders slump because I don’t think I have it in me to keep fighting, but I also know I can’t give him what he truly wants.
“I ca—”
He spins me around and his mouth seals on mine before I can finish my sentence and I could sob at how right it feels. I go to pull away but he pulls my French braided pigtails so I can’t escape him or the feelings that light me up from the inside out as the notes of our song swirl around us.
It’s only when I’m wrenched away from him that I know it’s now or never to get away. The look of rage on Ranger's face would be enough to make me run for the hills, but the blatant desire in Rebel’s eyes are what scares me the most. Because mine probably reflect those same feelings back.
I have to get out of here.
For what I hope is the final time today, I make a run for it, leaving men behind that no doubt will haunt me as I sleep tonight.
Chapter Nine
Ainsley James Dylan
Irunfasterandharder than I ever have to get away from the craziness I just escaped, unable to comprehend how my life flipped upside down so violently in only a matter of days. It’s only when I run face first into the hard muscles that make up Cyan’s chest and abs, knocking us both on our asses, that I remember that Rebel said he was waiting for me at the North gate.
“Oh gosh, Cyan, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” I ask, groaning at the ache my body’s been caused by my blatant lack of caution while running across campus like my hair’s on fire.
“I’m fine, are you all right?” he asks, hopping back up off the ground like I didn’t come in hot like Rambo on his ass, his lips curling upward before he can get a hold of his reaction. He’s fighting laughter and I’m thoroughly confused by it.
