Page 18 of Indiscretion: Reckless Sin
“I know.” His voice matches my own and I’m torn between wanting to look at him, console him even, and avoiding the despair I know is registered all over his face for fear that we’ll both fall apart.
“Do you think she’s thinking of us?” Finally chancing a glance in his direction.
“I’d like to think so,” he responds with a shrug, but it’s clear that he’s tense. He doesn’t want to think about the alternative.
“Why hasn’t she come back?”
“Phoenix,” he sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Honestly, I wish I knew. There’s nothing more I wish I could give you than her truths. For now let’s get you cleaned up. Rebel and Cyan are out there cleaning up the living room and getting rid of the stragglers that stayed the night.”
“Then what? Not to rain on your parade or anything, but one day of you guys playing best buds again won’t fix anything.”
“Well, I think we need to get you into rehab for starters,” he says, earning a scoff from me as I tuck my dick back into my jeans and push myself up off the floor, hating how sticky and dizzy I feel.
Everything hurts like I’ve been thrown off a cliff and left there. Not to mention I’m still nauseous as fuck. And then there’s the fact that I stink—like, really bad. The combination of fluids on me right now is disgusting and there’s no use in denying it. Coming down is so bad, I’m itching for something to take me higher once more.
“And then, after we get you some help we’re going to need you. Ezra’s gone MIA and it’s scaring me as much as you are, which says a lot, considering you’re self-harming again and trying to drown yourself in booze, pills, and god only knows what else,” he says, cringing as he swipes a stash of pills off of one of my tables into a garbage bag.
“What do you mean?” I ask, more alert at hearing that my friend is possibly in danger. “What’s going on with E?”
“I mean what I said, you’re not the only one who needs us. In fact, I think it’s time we remembered that weallneed each other. Like you said in your text, we’re stronger together. We were stupid for drifting apart like we have over the years. So after we get you and E clean, we’re going to get our girl back. You in?” Dexter may as well have said the most magic words ever known.Avada Kedavraain’t got shit on this and he knows it. My best friend needs me and my girl won’t know what hit her when I finally get her within reach. That means it’s time to put in the work and get my shit together.
Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to rehab I go.
Let’s hope they’ve got a damn good therapist on hand, I’ve got twenty years of grief to relive and not a lot of time to fix what’s broken.
Chapter Fourteen
Ainsley James Dyan
“Hello?Jax?”Iask,stepping out of the restaurant’s back door. I figured I could take the kitchen garbage out on my way out the door. It’ll give me a minute to talk to my friend before meeting the guys.
“There you are. I’ve been going out of my mind!”He responds, but the connection is spotty. I can tell he’s still angry though, his tone isn’t pleasant.
“Hi. Gosh, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t feeling my best last night and I passed out. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You know, this could easily be solved if we just exchanged numbers once and for all, A. I was falling apart last night without you after having the worst day.”
“You know that’s against the rules Jax. I swear, I never would have ignored you purposefully. I was a wreck. A useless, pathetic mess, honestly.”
“It’s okay. I was just hoping to hear your voice.”
“Well, I’m here now. Do you want to talk about what set you off yesterday?”
“It’s stupid, really. That girl I told you about, the one I’ve started falling for, she’s playing hard to get. I took your advice and became her friend first but now I don’t know how to transition into something more. I can’t tell if she’s intentionally leading me on because she likes to play games or what. Part of me thinks she’s into someone else actually and it hurts. A lot.”He sighs into the phone and my heart hurts for him.
He’s been lonely since his fiancée died a few years back. I’d hate to see the first woman he takes an interest in to play mind games with him. She seemed as though she genuinely liked him up until now. He’s been happier since they met and the stories he tells me are generally good ones. From what I know of his life, it’s not been the kindest to him. We’ve become quasi friends over the last couple of years, but my need to keep distance has kept me from giving him more of myself than what theYou Matterapp allows.
“Jax, all I can say is that anyone who’s willing to play games with your heart or your mind isn’t worth your time. I know you really like this girl so I won’t tell you to give up immediately, but if she gives off anymore mindfuck vibes…” I let the end of that statement go, he can fill in the blanks. I’m not his therapist—though we found him a good one a while back—therefore, anything I say is only advice I’d offer to a friend in need. “I think you’re a really amazing guy that deserves so much out of life, including real love if that’s what you truly want.”
“Thanks, A. I think I really needed to hear your kind words. I love that you’ve always got my back.”
“Always,” I agree, smiling into the phone, glad to hear his voice cheer up. My smile quickly drops off my face when I turn around to walk down the alley and find Rebel standing there, leaning against the building with his arms across his chest and a cocky smirk slashed across his too handsome face as he blatantly eavesdrops. “Jax, I can’t stay on the phone. I, um, it’s going to be a busy night for me.”
“Are you serious? We didn’t get our time last night!”
“I know, but I have so much going on right now. I’ll still be available in our messenger chat. Being on the phone is just going to make things really difficult for me tonight. I promise, I’m not abandoning you, only switching up our means of conversation.”
“Okay, fine. Throwing a tantrum like a toddler won’t get me anywhere, I guess. It’s just that I wish we had more time together. You’re basically all I have,”he says, pulling on my heartstrings again. I want to be careful of what I say in response since I have company now.
