Page 80 of Must Be Love - Irresistible Bachelors

I need to do something. I’m supposed to log on and get some work done.

My living room has a small desk in the corner so that I can work from home. My laptop is already open and waiting for me to start. I sit down in front of it and check my email.

The first thing I see is a message from Havana reminding me to think hard about the promotion she offered me.

When we first talked, it was an easy decision. I knew what I wanted out of life. I knew who I wanted to be with.

Now, I’m not so sure. Should I turn down an amazing opportunity just because I someday want to be a stay-at-home mom? It doesn’t look like that will be happening anytime soon. Or maybe ever.

I’m finished with men. They all lead to disappointment anyway. AJ wasn’t the worst, but he’s the last. I’m tired of feeling this way. If I never enter a relationship, I’ll never be heartbroken again.

I start to type back my acceptance, but I stop myself. I can’t let AJ derail my life plans. It might take me a while, but I’ll find someone new. Giving up isn’t an option.

Ignoring the email from my boss, I try to dive into the campaign I was working on. Just like this morning, I struggle to focus, but the reason is different this time. My mind keeps wandering back to all the good times I had with AJ.

Even though he hurt me, the man still has me all hot and bothered. Life is unfair!

I push my computer away and pull my phone from my back pocket. I haven’t looked at it since leaving AJ’s office. I half-expect to see a missed call from him, but there’s nothing.

Of course he’s not trying to contact me. He got what he wanted. I was his science experiment. AJ probably saw my damaged skin from a mile away and knew he could convince me to try his illegal serum.

What a jerk.

It’s only a little after noon. Daisy and Nicole are probably still at lunch. If I call, they’ll answer.

My finger hovers over Nicole’s contact, but I can’t bring myself to press it. What would I say to them? How can I explain what happened without telling them any details?

Even without an NDA, I couldn’t expose AJ. I still care about him. I hate that I do. I want nothing more than to forget he ever existed. Since that isn’t possible, I’ll have to give my heart some time to recover.

In the meantime, I need to tell my friends something that isn’t the truth. I can tell them AJ and I realized we don’t have enough in common. Or maybe I’ll stick with the excuse that he didn’t want to be seen with me in public. They have no way of proving me wrong.

What about the serum? They were so excited to try it in the future.

I’ll have to tell them that AJ found a problem, so it won’t be going to market. They won’t expect me to have a ton of details if we’re broken up. That should satisfy them.

Oh God. Nicole and Daisy begged me to let them try the serum. What if I had let them? I would have to tell them the truth then, and they would’ve been furious. I’m angry, but it would’ve been far worse for them. They don’t have a personal connection with AJ.

I seethe at the thought of AJ’s semen touching a woman other than me. We shared something special. If I had given Nicole and Daisy even a drop of the elixir, that would’ve changed everything.

Did AJ let anyone else try the serum? He wouldn’t do that, would he?

I don’t want to believe it, but he gave it to me. Why wouldn’t he share it with others, too? AJ said he was going to put the product in clinical trials. He hasn’t mentioned anything to me, but we don’t talk about his work much. There’s a lot of science involved in it that I don’t understand.

If he did move forward with testing, there could be hundreds of people in the world covering their faces with AJ’s semen.

I hate these hypothetical people. No one should have his semen but me!

It’s crazy that I still feel a possessiveness over him. Will that go away with time, or will I always wonder if some other woman is getting the treatment I used to get? And I don’t just mean as his patient.

I can’t call my friends, but there’s someone else I can call. I dial Dana’s number and wait, but she doesn’t answer.

Shit. I need to talk to someone, or I might explode. But everyone else I know is at work right now, and I don’t know their lunch schedules well enough to risk it.

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