Page 19 of Blood Lord

Honestly, I might faint again.

11

Raziel

Out of all the emotions that I haven't felt in centuries, I think guilt was the first to go. So, when it comes rushing back in to hit me hard in the chest, I stumble just outside the cave.

I didn't want to tell Selene those half-truths. In fact, a small part of me wanted to pour it all out to her. I wanted to talk about my family and how I could barely remember them, how it felt to come to this foreign world, what it was like to be Made; I wanted to tell her everything I had forced myself to forget.

I want her to know me, the real me. I want her to know more about me than anyone ever has before.

But I couldn't. She's a human, and I've already told her too much. I fear that I've put her in harm's way just by taking her with me. If the dark elves find out this is where she has been, they will torture her for information. They will not understand her innocence like I will.

And I know that she has to go back to their society. She seems to genuinely enjoy the circus and her life there. I can't take that away from her.

There's also a small voice in the back of mine telling me that she is too loyal to dark elves to reveal so much. Who is to say that she does run back and confess everything to the ringmaster?

Just the idea of this makes me sad, but it also drums up a lot of anger. I don't know that she will, but it is a strong possibility, especially if dark elf life is all she's known. She might be just like them.

I hope she isn't, but I'm just not sure what is going to happen. I have to protect myself, and I've already put everyone at risk by telling her so much.

The uncertainty makes my emotions start to swell again, and I have to shove them down.

Besides, the wildspont forest is dangerous and confusing. It's hard enough for dark elves to slip in and out of. Selene only survived the transition because I sheltered her from the intense pull of the magic as we went through the portal.

I have nothing to worry about. She can't go anywhere without me, and she won't be able to run to her dark elves until I decide that is trustworthy enough to release back into her old life.

As I think it, that sadness comes creeping in, and I swallow it. Damn, after so long without these emotions, I had forgotten how distracting they are.

I continue through the forest, forcing myself to focus, but I don't see anything suitable for humans to eat. I have no way to cook her meat if I were to slaughter one of the beasts, and everything else here is magic-laced. Even the root vegetables would probably overwhelm her body, rendering her comatose or worse as its effects shock her system.

Grumbling, I know that I have to leave the wildspont. It's dangerous to do so, putting myself at risk every time I resurface from our magical pockets, but I can't let her starve to death in the cave.

"Selene better appreciate this," I mutter as I detect a portal up ahead.

It's not the same one before, close to the cave. This one shimmers between two trees, and although they are usually easier to detect inside the wildsponts, this one nearly fools me. It must be especially weak.

Stepping through, I emerge in between two trees in the normal forest. The trees here are still, the ground no longer writhing with magic. Yes, there should be some berries and roots that she can eat here.

Cocking my head, I listen for any indication of life, and although I don't hear any other creatures—thank you, Akeldama—I do hear the babbling of water. I know that she will need water, too, and that things grow more abundantly near water. I follow the sound, and inevitably, my brain starts to wander.

There have been too many events in the last day for me to process, and they keep washing over me. I forget how immersive my thoughts can be, and all too late, I realize that I've blocked out the rest of the world.

At home, it's not a problem. I forget all that's around me, and it actually keeps me sane.

Here, though, as I contemplate all that I feel for Selene and what am I going to do about her, about my mission, about this whole mess, is the wrong time to let my senses fall dull.

The sharp scent of dark elves hits me, and I come up short. They are close, their footsteps crunching through the dry grass, and I twist around to watch them crest the hill above me. There's five of them.

"Well, shit," I mutter. I've been detected after all.

"What the fuck is that?" One of them shouts to the others.

The one in the middle with an angry scar down the side of his face only sneers. "A vrakken." So much for trying to stay hidden. "Kill him."

I bark out a laugh as they launch themselves at me, raising my hand and feeling my magic flow through my veins. "You forget why you never could," I tell the one closest to me, and the magic shoots from my fingertips.

Where dark elf magic has always been flashy and bright, ours is nearly invisible. It's like a shimmer in the air as it latches itself around the dark elf's neck, tightening until he collapses from lack of oxygen.

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