Page 33 of Blood Lord

His jaw works as his dark eyes flick up to me. "I am sorry for this. I dodged this question when we first met, and I should have been honest with you here. I did not lie when I said I came above ground after so long in the caves. But I did not tell you that it wasn't my choice.

"Vrakken are governed by the Council. They are a group of our wisest members and our Matriarch. They make all of our decisions, and I must follow them. I was chosen to come above ground to discover what had changed and report back."

"Why did you lie about that?" My voice is breathless.

"I was afraid you would run, that you wouldn't trust me."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because once I tell the Council about all the humans on the surface, they will react the same way that scout did. Once I met you, I couldn't risk it. I didn't want you to run from me or for the Council to learn of you. Everything I've done is to protect you, Selene. I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you, of anyone hurting you–"

I hold a hand up and squeeze my eyes tight, shaking my head. I can't let him get in my head, not with all the questions still buzzing around. "And why didn't you tell me the truth about humans? I am not meant to be your lover. I am meant to be your prey, someone to feed off of and then either kill or Change. You've eradicated the human population underground, and you hid it from me."

"Would you have trusted me if I had told you the truth hours after we met?" When I give him a scowl at the question, he holds up his hands. "Sorry. Sorry. I just mean, I wanted you to trust me. Do I need to feed off of blood? Yes. Do we prefer humans? Yes. Did I ever see you as anything other than my salvation, as prey or someone to use? Not for a second."

My heart stutters at his words, and I swear he can hear it. He leans forward, reaching for me, and when his hands graze mine, I don't jerk back.

"Selene, I know I fucked up, but there are a lot of things about me that I feared would be intimidating. I didn't want you to get the wrong idea of me, and I wanted to tell you the truth. I wish you hadn't found out the way you did, but I am relieved that you know it all."

"I don't know it all," I whisper.

He purses his lips. "Then ask me. I will answer every question you have until you believe you can trust me again. I swear to you that no words will be a partial-truth or lie again."

There's one question that's been bothering me that I finally unleash it. "Why didn't you tell me that you used to be human?"

His eyes widen at that. I can tell that out of all the questions, he didn't expect that one. Finally, he admits, "I didn't want you to know that being Changed or death is the fate of those who are intertwined with the vrakken. I wouldn't let either happen to you, of course, but I felt it was unnecessary to frighten you."

The way that Raziel's expression looks so open, almost begging makes me believe him. I am still hurt by the lies, and I am struggling to reconcile the comfort and pain I find just by being around him.

Raziel clings to my hand, rubbing his thumb along the back, and I can see the pain flash in his eyes. He seems tormented by my reaction, and it seems that his lies have caused him even more pain. Or maybe being caught in them has.

But then he disproves that as he whispers, "What can I do to ease your mind? Selene, I'll do anything. I know I've made a mistake, and I hope you can see there was no ill intent behind it."

It strikes me then what would put me at ease. I want to know him better, really know him. I have to fight a grin as I tell him, "I want to know about when you were human."

Raziel stills, and I can see the tension lining his body. I wonder if it is painful for him, and I know that if he can give me this, I can trust him.

His gaze slowly lifts to mind, and he lets go of my hands, sinking back against the cave wall. He slides down to the floor, the moss pulsing in response, and the quartz above us shifts to a deep navy blue as a smile tugs at his lips.

He pats the spot next to him, the moss rolling under the pressure. "That is a long story. I think you should sit for it."

I know that I may be foolish, but I decide to do it anyway. I sit next to Raziel, and while he doesn't tuck me into his side as I'm expecting, and craving, he does take my hand again. His touch is so electric that I can't bear to pull away from him.

"I barely remember my time on Earth, it was so long ago. I remember that I lived in a country called Persia, and it was a beautiful country. My village was at the base of a huge mountain, and I was happy. My family, my mother and father and two brothers, were all hard-working, and I found it difficult to keep up.

"You see, I was still young. I had barely reached the age of maturity, which was earlier back then than it is now, and children easily fell ill. I was one of those."

I squeeze his hand, but he keeps going. "My family had to cast me out so that they would not fall ill, either, and on the streets of my village, I was discovered by one of the first Vrakken.

"I was still a human when they brought me to Protheka. They fed on me as I grew older, and I think some of their venom made me stronger. I witnessed the creation of the dark elves and the war." He shivers. "I thought I had seen brutality, but a magic war is much worse than the war of weapons on Earth."

Raziel stops, and he's hit something difficult. I rub my thumb along the back of his hand as encouragement when he starts again. "I was injured during the war, and the vrakken decided to Change me. Not every human was given the honor, and no one was given a choice."

He shudders, his eyes turning glassy. "I remember how painful it was. I thought I'd never make it through, and my body felt so different. But as I came out the other side, I felt the magic that flowed so freely on Protheka. I felt stronger than I thought possible.

"We ended up fleeing underground to escape the sun, more so than the dark elves. Their numbers were greater than ours, but the natural environment could inflict just as much, if not more, damage than them.

"At first, the wildsponts were incredible. We couldn't believe the magic down there. But soon, the excitement of it all started to fade. The life of the underground began to grow empty until I lost all my emotion, all my eagerness and curiosity. I thought I wouldn't feel again in this lifetime."

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