Page 34 of Blood Lord

Raziel lifts his head to look at me. His eyes are soft, tender. "You see, when life doesn't have an end, it starts to feel meaningless. I was just waiting for it to end. Until I met you." His hand shakes as he raises it to brush his fingertips along my cheeks. "You woke me up, and I am eternally grateful."

I break then. I launch forward, crashing my mouth to his, and he freezes at first before pulling me closer. I cup the back of his head, pouring all of my feelings into this kiss, and when we break apart, I am gasping.

I lean my forehead against his and whisper, "You will never have to be alone again."

19

Raziel

As I stare into her honey eyes, I know that I want to stay with Selene forever. For all my denying it, I have fallen in love with her. There is no lying to myself anymore.

Not after I watched her nearly die on multiple accounts.

I would have given anything to spare her of the pain of that dark elf or stopped the vrakken scout from smelling her. I've proven time and time again that I will reveal myself, kill anyone, sun blister and starve my body, whatever it takes to keep her safe.

As desperately as I want to tell her, though, I know that I can't. Even after the way she clung to me, kissed me, and whispered to me, I still don't feel that telling I love her would be the right move.

She heard all these awful things about the vrakken, and I fear that, though I will ease her fears and she seems to have forgiven me, she will find it more of a shackling sentence than an action of the heart.

And isn't it?

With me, Selene's life will be underground and in hiding. There will be no more performances, no more wonder, no more days in the sun. And though I'd never do it, I don't want anyone to consider turning her. I want her to have her mortality, her humanity, because I know what it's like to lose it.

A flicker of fear lights up my spine, though I try to push it away. I know, deep deep down, that I am also afraid to hear her response. I'm not sure what I would do if she were to say she doesn't love me, that she doesn't want me.

It hurt enough when she ran from me, but then I understood. To be shunned…again…I don't think that's something my soul could bear twice in one eternity. It's too much, even for an emotionless vrakken like myself.

So, I gently untangle myself from Selene, pulling back as her eyes widen. She reaches for me, and I put a bit more space between us as her eyebrows pinch together.

"What did I say?"

The hurt in her eyes nearly crumbles my resolve. I'm so close to scooping her up and holding her to my chest that I press my fist against my mouth, my eyes darting up to look at anything else than her beautiful face.

And maybe I don't want to know if it will be hurt or relief that will ripple across her face at my next words. Either is enough to break me.

"You didn't do anything, but I have something else to admit. I have to report back to the Council. I should have already, but I fear that if I wait any longer, they'll come looking for me."

My eyes finally drop to look at her, and I reach out, wanting to stroke her cheek, but I've already put too much distance between us. Instead, I caress empty air, and that sends a panic through me, like it's giving me a taste of what I am desperately trying to avoid.

"If they come looking for me," I say as I let my hand drop. "You will be in danger. I can't lead them back here to you." My voice drops to a pathetic whisper. "I can't and won't hurt you further. I have to leave."

Out of all the responses, I hadn't expected to see her beautiful eyes fill with tears. I swear I can feel each individual crack fissuring along my heart as they start to fall. It's absolutely heartbreaking, and without being able to stop myself, I shift up, reaching out for her.

It is world shattering when she scrambles back from me, shaking her head.

"You can't say you're leaving me and then try to comfort me!" She tugs at her hair, looking so upset and frustrated that I would give her anything to stop it. "What don't you get? No one is hurting me, but you. You say you're trying to protect me, but it's just an excuse for you to throw me away!"

"No!" I catch her around the waist, and no matter how she beats against my chest, I'm not letting go. "No, I am not trying to get rid of you, Selene. There is much out there that can hurt you. I'd never forgive myself if it did."

I already can't for what I've done,I don't tell her.

I sink back against the wall of the cave, keeping her pinned in my arms, and she twists to glare up at me angrily, though tears still stream down her cheeks and her skin has turned blotchy. I wipe them away the best that I can, and her nose wrinkles as she grows angrier. It's so damn cute that I almost can't contain my smile.

"I don't want you to go," she finally says, and it hits me hard.

"I won't be gone long," I assure her, tucking her hair back from her face. I smooth her loose strands back and over her shoulder, and her face buries against my shirt. "If it all goes according to plan, I'll be back in a few days."

"Days?" she squeaks out, trying to jerk back to glare at me again.

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