“Why is he so angry with you? He won’t tell me anything when I ask, just stomps and mutters and curses and throws things. Last night he lost his temper and threw a bottle of Jim Beam at the wall. You two need to talk; it’s starting to scare Rory.”
“Talking to him ain’t gonna change anything. I’ve fucked up too bad for that. The best thing I can do is stay the hell away from him.”
“And while you’re trying to do that, you’re staying the hell away from Rory and me, too. Dammit, Asher, I need you around. I need somebody to talk to, and not the half-assed whispered conversations you manage to have with me while Cole’s too drunk to be listening. It’s fucking shitty that you have to hide talking to me like some dirty secret so his feelings won’t be hurt!”
I slid a hand through my hair with a groan. The last thing I needed was things going any deeper into the shitter.
“Look, I know things are shitty right now—”
“Do you? Do you really know how shitty they are?”
“Shhhhhh.”
“No, don’t fuckin’ shush me! You begged me to come help you with Rory, but as soon as Morgan had to take over for you you’ve done nothing but act like we’re not even around. Is that why you wanted me to come up here, so you could ditch Rory on me? The poor kid is miserable. Morgan finally told him that his mom isn’t gonna come for him. She sent all his things, can you believe it? Just boxed them up and mailed them. The bar has been losing business; no band means no music, no music means people go elsewhere. On top of it all, I haven’t been able to keep up with my classes and I’m fucking failing two of them because I spend all my time either helping in the bar or trying to look out for Rory while Morgan tries to sort things out around here. We could really use your help, Asher, and Cole’s, too, if both of you could stop being such selfish pricks!”
I hung my head, because what I could say? I hadn’t known the bar was struggling, and I hadn’t thought about whether or not Kimber had sent Rory’s stuff to the bar. I hadn’t thought about how Alexia was doing in her classes, either, because I’d been so busy trying to get my own life in order. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s a start, but it doesn’t fix anything.”
“I know,” I said. “So how can I help?”
“Can you come by during the day and spend some time with Rory so I can get some schoolwork done?”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry; I got a job, I kind of work from six in the morning until six or eight at night, depending on what Travis needs me to do.”
“Who’s Travis?”
“My boss at the livery. It’s the only goddamned job I could get.” Okay, so that was technically a lie; Catfish would have given me a job, no problem, but I wasn’t about to mention that to Alexia. I would have to mention my lie in my journal, though.
“When we’ve talked you didn’t tell me you got a job,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, I know; I’m sorry. I had a lot on my mind. I know it’s no excuse.”
“No, it isn’t. When are you gonna grow up and stop being so secretive?”
“Dammit, I’m trying. What the hell do you people want from me?”
“Maybe we want you to be responsible for once, and honest, and reliable,” Morgan’s voice cut in from over by the door.
I said nothing, staring at the floor and refusing to look at him.
“Is that really so hard for you to manage, Asher, or do you get off on ruining lives and backstabbing friends?”
“I’m sorry for coming here without your permission. I’ll go now,” I said, moving toward the door and hoping he’d let me through. He didn’t; he blocked the doorway off with his body and glared at me until I looked away again.
“You’re here now, so instead of running away, why don’t you lend a hand?”
“Doing what?”
“Why don’t you start by helping me figure out how to get a band in here?”
I stood there thinking about the people I knew, who played what, who might be available. “Maybe I can talk to Todd, see if his band will do it. I haven’t seen him around much, but he’s not one to turn down a payday.”
“I called him. You ain’t seen him around lately ’cause he’s in jail, according to his mother. Called your old band, too; they were booked, and the other bands I called I can’t afford right now. I just laid down six grand toward one of them new Dodge Darts and it ain’t even ready yet.”
“You’re getting a cage?” I asked, shocked at the very idea of him driving a car.
“Truck wasn’t the safest thing for Rory; it’s not like it was an extended cab or anything. This way he can be in the back seat where he belongs.”