Page 114 of Guitars and Cages

“Fine. I’ll have my camera ready. You just make sure you don’t get too fucked up to get us out of there after you get us in.”

“I promise you’ll get home safe and sound,” I told him before I turned and walked away. Of course now, instead of going home and going to bed, which I desperately wanted to do, I was gonna have to go see Catfish and figure out how to talk myself out of the promise I’d made to let him loan me the money the next time I needed cash. I trudged down to River’s End, trying to think of words that weren’t going to get me tied up for most of the night.

Decisions, decisions.

I was no closer to figuring out what to say when I reached River’s End than I’d been when I’d left Conner’s place. Stepping in that room, I tried to prepare myself for whatever the charge was gonna be, hoping he was feeling generous tonight.

“Asher!” he called out as soon as I reached his table. Thank God he was in a good mood. “Sit down, kid, and have a drink.”

I slipped into the booth across from him. “Yes, sir.”

“So what brings you my way so soon? Have you finally decided to take me up on my offer?”

“No, sir, I, uhh, have a day job now, but I, uhh, something’s come up and I need one more fight. I was hoping you’d know where they were holding them tomorrow night.”

“I always know, but what makes you think I’m gonna tell you? We had a deal, you and I. The last time you were here, you agreed to come to me and borrow whatever you needed, instead of getting back inside a cage.”

“Yes, sir, I know.”

“I don’t like a man who doesn’t keep his word, Asher.”

“Yes, sir,” I said.

“How much money do you need, Asher?”

“Twenty-seven hundred,” I told him, to be safe.

“Fine, I’ll loan it to you and you can work it off. Now, if you still want to fight, there are some fights tomorrow night, but that’s up to you. You’ll still owe me my cut for sending you there, so you might want to consider what you’re getting yourself into.”

His eyes were shrewd and he was no longer looking too happy. I was pretty sure he wasn’t pleased that I’d tried to get out of borrowing the money, and that I’d found a job instead of coming to work for him. But I’d promised Conner, and I needed to prove that I could keep my word.

“I’m still gonna fight.”

He passed me the cigarette and matches; I smoked and read and passed the matches back.

“I’d hoped that this time you would give serious consideration to my offer.”

“I did, but it ain’t for me. I like what I’m doing now, and I don’t like fighting the way I used to.”

“And I told you a million times you wouldn’t be fighting if you worked for me.”

“Yes, sir, I know, but I’m not a bodyguard, either.”

“Suit yourself, Asher, as long as you understand that working off that money is going to take time.”

“Yes sir, as long as you don’t expect me here before nine. And I can only come down here three nights a week; I already owe the other four nights to someone else,” I said, knowing full well he was gonna milk that loan to every shred of advantage that he could.

His eyes darkened at hearing that and his fist clenched tight around his glass. “Nine will be fine, just don’t be any later!”

I tried not to shiver with revulsion. The whole point of getting that job out at the livery had been to avoid this, and yet here I was, and there was no going back. Not only that, but between coming here and playing for Morgan, I’d be lucky if I got five hours of sleep a night. I was gonna wish I did coke by the time I was finished paying everyone I owed and keeping all my promises. I finished my smoke and followed him upstairs to get the money, not surprised when he told me to strip and get on the bed. The cuffs he pulled out were a surprise, though, and I felt my heart beating wildly in my chest. I didn’t wanna be restrained; I didn’t wanna be held down, especially not by him.

His smile came back when he saw the panic in my eyes. I started to roll from the bed as he approached, but he shook his head at me and I lay back down. The cold steel against my wrists made my breathing pick up. I was gonna hyperventilate if I didn’t focus and get back some measure of control. I tried to concentrate on slowing my breathing down, but when he reached into the drawer beside the bed and pulled out a length of black cloth I knew I was gonna lose it. He blindfolded me as I tumbled headlong into panic, thrashing against the cuffs, desperate to get the blindfold off from in front of my eyes.

His voice cut through the panic, low and whiskey-rough in my ear, telling me to breathe, just breathe, that he was gonna take care of me, that everything was gonna be all right. He kept on talking, admiring the way I looked bound on the bed, telling me how much I meant to him, how he’d been waiting for me to agree to his terms since the very first time he’d made the offer, and all the while I was waiting for the pain to begin.

It never did.

Instead, he talked to me; praised me for my stubbornness, for the way I fought, for the way I refused to submit to anyone but him and how that made him desire me more. He caressed me as he talked, but they were gentle caresses, the way no one had touched me since Gage, and I arched into every touch, like a cat seeking a scratching hand. He told me he was the only one who could ever understand me, the only one who would ever want me, the only one who could ever give me what I needed. I wanted to deny it, but that would be a lie. This was where I belonged, this was what I deserved, and this was all I was meant to be. He kissed away the tears that slipped from beneath the blindfold, even as he claimed my body in a rush of lust and a gentleness that bordered on pain. I left River’s End when he was done, with the twenty-seven hundred dollars, but without a piece of my soul.

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