Page 120 of Guitars and Cages

“’Cause the ranch ain’t mine. It’s Michael’s. Not like he cares anything for it, but my old man was real clear on who was gonna get it.”

“Then ask your brother for it.”

I laughed.

He frowned. “What?”

“Michael never answers the phone when we call him anymore. Cole had to leave him a message to get Michael to send his money, and when he did send it there was no note, no nothing. He just wired the funds and went on about his day.”

“All right, so leave him a message and tell him to wire you his response.”

I shook my head. “You don’t get it, do you? Even if Michael says I can have it, my old man is still alive and there’s no way in hell he’d let that happen.”

“I thought you said the DNA tests showed you were his son. Doesn’t that mean he’d change his mind?”

I laughed again, but it was bitter and cold. “I’d never give him the satisfaction of seeing me ask him for anything. He’s never treated me like I was worth a damn. I’m not gonna tell the bastard I’m his.”

“I guess I can understand that, but aren’t you shooting yourself in the foot in the end?”

“I’d shoot myself in the head before I ever asked him for anything.”

He reached out and slid a hand through my hair, and I closed my eyes and arched into his touch.

“Don’t even joke about that,” he said. He kept stroking, but I wasn’t sure who he was trying to calm, him or me, ’cause his breathing was ragged.

“When I saw you in that room with that Catfish person, I wished I had bullets in that gun. I wanted to shoot him for the way he was touching you, and I wanted to shake the hell outta you for letting him. Dammit, Asher, Catfish isn’t the only person who isn’t going to judge you, and he isn’t the only person who doesn’t think you’re stupid. He’s also not the only person who doesn’t think your scars are hideous. Hell, they’re hardly noticeable. And are you forgetting how many times I’ve told you I need you around?”

“Yeah, but I ain’t your type.”

He blinked at me, looking confused for a moment. I caught a glimpse of his eyes widening as I was pulling away from his hand.

“It’s fine,” I told him, chalking that up in my head as yet another lie for the night. I ran my hands along my jeans, worrying the fabric.

“The only reason I said that was because I thought you were avoiding me because I’d admitted I was gay. I was just giving you shit, Asher; I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like someone like me would ever be your type, or anyone’s type, ’less they were like Catfish. He’s forever telling me how he’s the only one that can understand me, and I keep being stubborn and refusing to listen.”

“Yeah, because you have stubborn down to a science. Seriously, are you even listening to me? I’m trying to tell you that you are my type, and that I would like it very much if you could start seeing that.”

I frowned, confused. “But...”

“No, no. No more buts. None. I’m tired of buts and excuses and reasons why I should hate you, and the million and one ways you put yourself down. I want you to listen to me, okay? I like hanging out with you, and I’d like to hang out with you more. I would like it very much if we can someday turn our friendship into more than a friendship, but I’m not willing to do that with someone who sells himself to other people. I’m not going to judge you for having done it in the past, but I am hoping you’ll see that I’m offering an alternative to what you think you have with Catfish—and, unlike him, I’m not going to tell you that no one else would want you just to try and keep you with me.”

I gazed at him in shock, until my eyes got blurry enough that I couldn’t see him anymore. I swiped at the tears with the back of my sleeve and noticed he was watching me, waiting.

I locked eyes with him, and after hearing what he’d told me it was easier not to look away. “I was avoiding you because I was attracted to you. I hadn’t really been attracted to another guy since Gage, and it scared me. You told me you hoped I’d tell you why I was such an ass to you...well, that was why. The night I was helping you with the furniture I found myself getting distracted by looking at you, and...” Finally I looked down.

“You were fine with it until I told you I was gay, but as soon as I did, it went from you admiring a straight guy to admiring a guy who potentially could feel something for you back. After what happened with you and Gage, I can understand your fear.”

“I just... I’d already hurt so many people who trusted me, I didn’t want to hurt anyone else. I figured if I stayed away from you, I wouldn’t be tempted to think about you, but that didn’t work, so then I figured if I hung out with you more, kind of like hanging out with the Angels, I wouldn’t think of you that way either. But that, uhh, kept on failing, too.”

“Yeah, I noticed when you came over to invite me to laser tag.”

I blushed, I couldn’t help it. “You...with the water and all...and I...you...”

He grinned, and all my stammering made me blush more. “Let’s make a deal, okay?”

“Okay.”

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