Page 129 of Guitars and Cages

“Nah, Rory. He doesn’t hate you, I promise.”

“Then why was he so mad? Why did he yell at me and Aunt Alexia? I was just showing him my drawings. Did I do something wrong?”

I scrubbed a hand down over my face, trying to decide on an answer that would help Rory understand. He was eight; how much do you even explain to an eight-year-old?

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. Your uncle and your aunt are upset with each other, but it has nothing to do with you.”

“Why does he call Aunt Alexia a cross-dressing fruit loop? He made her cry. He said no one in the family wanted to be around her no more and that I shouldn’t be around her, either. Why shouldn’t I be around her? I like her! She helps me with my homework and reads me stories.”

I smiled at that.

“I’m glad you like her. I know she loves you very much; we all do. Uncle Cole was angry, and he shouldn’t have said what he said because it wasn’t true. He lied when he said that no one wants to be around her. I’m here, and I came to talk to her, and I plan to be here more often, too.”

His eyes got bright and he smiled as he reached out to hug me. “You promise?”

I hugged him tight, rubbing circles on his back. “I promise. Now where is your aunt? I want to talk to her and make sure she’s all right.”

“She went upstairs, like you like to do.”

I frowned, ’cause the only upstairs was the roof. She had prolly gone up there to think. It was always peaceful, especially when the stars were out. Even the noise of the city never seemed to reach that far.

“Okay. I’m going to go up and talk to her, and I want you to go in your room until Uncle Morgan comes home; can you do that for me?”

He looked at me with solemn eyes. “Uh-huh.”

“Good,” I said, ruffling his hair. I started to walk away, heading for the access stairs to the roof, but something stopped me and I turned back to Rory and took my phone from my pocket. Scrolling through the numbers, I brought Morgan’s up on the screen. “Here, hang on to this for me, okay, and if something happens to make you scared, you push this button and it will call Uncle Morgan.”

He took the phone, pointing to the send button. “This one?”

I nodded.

“Okay. I will.”

I kissed him on the forehead and then headed up to the roof, expecting to see Alexia sitting among the pigeons, brooding, but she wasn’t. She was standing on the ledge of the roof, the wind blowing her hair back as she stared down at the street below. She must have heard me, because she turned to look, and even in the dim lights I could see how pale her face was and the tears that streaked her cheeks.

“Come down from there,” I said softly, walking toward her until she held up her hand.

“Asher, don’t.”

I stopped. I didn’t want to, but I did. “What the hell do you mean, don’t? Come down from there, Alexia.”

She shook her head, and I felt cold start spreading through my gut.

“No. I can’t do this anymore, Asher. I can’t take any more of his shit. I can’t take any more of the fighting. Our whole family is falling apart because of me, because of what I am. I’m so sorry I put you in the middle of it. I’m sorry about how hard Morgan has been on you through all this. I know he’s hurt you, and I feel like it’s all because of me, especially once he found out I was his daughter.”

I took a step forward, slow and easy. “Bullshit. All of this is my fault, Alexia. I’m sorry. You didn’t put me in the middle of it; I went with Cole because I didn’t feel like I belonged here. I know I’m not good enough to belong with you and Morgan—you guys, you’re different from me and Cole, and I just didn’t want to be alone. I love you, Alexia. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, so come down, okay? Rory needs you. You’re amazing with him, and I know he loves you and is worried as hell about you right now, so please come down, okay?”

“If you’d believe in yourself half as much as you believe in me and Morgan then you wouldn’t have needed either of us to help with Rory. You’re amazing, Asher, and you’re the only one who can’t see it. I used to listen to you play guitar night after night. I’d draw while you were playing Hendrix, trying to get it right...and you did, and that kind of talent can’t be lost. You’ve just lost your way; you can fix it. I’m the one who can’t fix what I am.”

“Who says you should have to?”

“You think Michael would react any differently than Cole? You know he’s going to hate me, and all those people who I try to show my work to, they’re gonna judge me and hate me, too. I’m not as strong as I thought, Asher, not like you. I care what people think of me.”

I took another step, two more steps, and I knew I could reach her. “I’m not strong, Alexia, I’m a fuckin’ coward. Look at the way I turned my back on Gage. I loved him more than anything, and I still turned my back on him and let my old man hurt him. I ran from Chase so he wouldn’t find out I’d been hitting on Kimber, trying to get her to hook up with me. I ran from Eve when I found out about my kid, and I’ve run from every damn other place I’ve ever been as soon as things got hard. You’re the strong one, Alexia—you’re the one who came to me when you knew I might reject you. You didn’t have to; you could have stayed away and left me to deal with Rory the way everyone else ditched me, but you didn’t.”

“And look at what’s happened! You leave, and the bar starts losing money, Morgan is so stressed I’m afraid he’s going to have a heart attack—”

“Like he isn’t gonna have one if you do this?”

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