Page 68 of Guitars and Cages

He turned to me. “What?”

I jumped; I couldn’t help it. That was the second time tonight he’d sounded like Dad. It was hard to breathe; I wasn’t sure if I was panicking or blacking out. I gagged and ran for the bathroom, puking up what little I’d snagged from the kitchen while working the bar. It was all falling apart. I couldn’t go with Cole. As much as I didn’t want to lose my brother, if I went and he ever found out about me, he’d kill me. He wouldn’t mean to, I didn’t think, but he’d lose his shit, and by the time he had control I’d be in pieces on the floor because I knew I’d never defend myself.

The pressure in my chest was making my breathing hitch, and I rested my head against the cool of the toilet and let the tears come.

“Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell are you bawling about?” Cole yelled from the doorway. He’d be in a better mood if Morgan would give in and let him have a fucking beer, I was sure of it. Sober Cole was a different kind of angry than drunken Cole.

There was scuffling in the doorway. I heard Cole yell at Morgan to back off, that Cole was my brother and Morgan wasn’t even fuckin’ family, just the bastard who’d screwed our mom and knocked her up with Alex. That’s when a piece of the wall fell. To be fair, it only fell after Morgan had slammed Cole into the other side of it, but still, it was a pretty big chunk, and I was sure Morgan wasn’t gonna be too happy about making repairs.

“You listen to me, you stubborn little shit!” Morgan snapped. “Yeah, it’s true, I slept with your mama while your old man was in jail, but I slept with her when he wasn’t in jail, too. So it ain’t only Alexia that might be mine, Colton; it’s you and Asher, too. Me and your mama was a long-time thing—why the hell do you think I tried to spend as much time as I could with you boys while you were growing up, tried to put you on the right path, not like you ever wanted to listen!”

“Wait... what...” I heard Cole stammer, echoing my thoughts. Morgan could be our father? My head started to spin as I tried to wrap my thoughts around that. I was reminded of the day I’d kissed him, and I couldn’t help but laugh until more tears came. How crazy and fucked up was my life?

“You heard me,” Morgan said, and I was pretty sure he let go of Cole ’cause I could hear slow-moving footsteps then.

“But... but...” Cole was stammering. “Why didn’t you ever tell us before?”

“Maybe because it never seemed to be the right time, and maybe because I had no idea how any of you boys would react. Hell, I never thought any of you knew about me and your mama until you threw that crack at me about Alex being my son and me not wanting the rest of you. First of all, I’ve always wanted all of you in my life, even Michael and Chase, though they are definitely not my sons, and second of all, I can’t explain a goddamned thing to you when you’re too drunk to fucking listen!”

The frustration in Morgan’s voice was more than evident. I pushed myself to my feet and turned the water on, rinsing out my mouth and then splashing some on my face. I felt a little better, a little calmer, but my head still hurt like hell. Goddamned concussion; I should have known I’d make it worse by fighting. I stepped out of the bathroom to see them glaring at one another.

“So that explains why you couldn’t tell him. But why, in the eighteen months that I’ve been here, have you never thought to tell me?” I asked quietly.

Cole was still against the wall, leaning there, trying to take it all in. Morgan had backed off, arms crossed as he regarded me.

“Well, let’s see, how many nights have I tried to have a conversation with you after we’ve finished up here at the bar, only to have you either slip out the back, or get drunker than your brother?”

He had me there. I hadn’t wanted conversation at all. I’d been too scared of spilling my own secrets. Guess that had stopped him from spilling his own. “Okay, okay, I get it.”

“For the record, Alexia knows; she asked me about it after the fight.”

“So, uhh, how do we find out who is and, uhh, who isn’t, your kid?” I asked, my curiosity kicking in.

“The only way is by one of those DNA tests,” Cole muttered. “And I’m not sure I want one.”

I looked at him, and then back at Morgan. “I do.”

“So does Alexia. Cole, whatever you decide is your decision. It doesn’t have to be now; the offer will always be on the table.”

He shook his head, still seeming to be in shock. “This is really messed up, Morgan! Goddammit, you were a better old man than that son of a bitch we figured was our father; why the fuck did you let him raise us?”

I nodded, ’cause I’d been thinking the same thing.

“There’s a lot to why, and one day I will sit you down and explain it all. Until then, Colton, I’m asking you to please reconsider California. You had a good plan when you came here and talked about opening that gym, and I think you should do it. I already told you I’d help you through the process of setting up a new business. Lord knows, I know all the hoops you’ll have to jump through. Just give some thought to finding something better than the fleabag place Asher was living in and setting up a more permanent home. You are too old to be running up and down the roads. I know you know that; that’s why you came here. Don’t let hate push you away.”

Cole ran a hand through his hair, and I watched him, hoping he’d agree.

“I’ll think about it, but no guarantees. Either way, Asher and I get our own place tomorrow.”

He looked to me for confirmation, and I nodded my head, though a bit reluctantly. A part of me wanted to tell him, to get it over with instead of living in fear that I’d do something so he’d find me out. Hell, I could never take him with me to find fights, at least not any fight I’d have to get from Catfish, and that scared me, too. The only way out was gonna be to tell the truth or quit. Dammit-all, what was I gonna do?

Cole headed up the stairs without a backward glance, but I stood there, deep in thought. Morgan’s hand on my arm startled me. As I turned toward him his grip tightened and his eyes darkened in fury. He brought his hand up to my neck before I could stop him, and yanked the collar of my flannel away.

“What the hell?”

I tried to move away, but he gripped my arm tighter.

“That didn’t happen in a fight, Asher.”

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