Page 81 of Guitars and Cages

“He... Dad found out he was gay,” I said softly, but I knew Morgan could hear me, because his scowl deepened.

“And knowing your old man like I do, he ordered you to keep clear of Gage, which I hope you weren’t stupid enough to do, Asher.”

I went for silence again, trying to decide how much truth to give him, or whether to try and piece together a clever lie. I thought about the journal tucked in the back of the drawer at home, and the way Dr. Hozman had questioned me on my lies when we’d talked. All those questions, like he was picking me apart. It wasn’t fun.

I watched Morgan watch me, still waiting for me to answer. I frowned, suddenly wondering what the hell I was so afraid of. I’d kissed Morgan and he didn’t hate me for it, and he sure didn’t hate Alexia, so there was no reason to think he’d hate me. Only, what I’d done to Gage—the betrayal of a friend—was enough to earn Morgan’s hate. For that I expected to be scorned; deserved to be scorned.

“Dad found out about Gage because he, uhh, he...”

I paused. This was really fuckin’ hard. I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t. I deserved his anger, but I was scared of it. Coward; that’s all I was. “He caught us making out in the hayloft.”

He didn’t say anything at first; there was just this change in his expression, in his eyes, and the way he tilted his head. I could tell he was thinking. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, rubbed a finger over the edge of his mustache, and then ran a hand through his hair. “What did he do when he found you?”

“He was pissed.”

“Yeah, I imagine so. I imagine he was pretty loud and pretty mean, like Cole was to Alexia, but I also know him well enough that I’m willing to bet yelling and name-calling wasn’t all he did. Did he hurt you boys, Asher?”

I swallowed and looked at the floor. “I lied,” I said, unable to look at him. “I told him that Gage had been the one to kiss me, that I hadn’t been kissing back, and I’d been fighting to get away. I pushed Gage away from me, and Dad, he took off his belt and started hitting Gage with it. He was kicking him, too, and punching him, and then he held him up and...”

My words trailed off into a heavy sigh, and I forced myself to look at Morgan when I finished the story. “He told me to hit him, too, to make sure he knew better than to ever try that on anyone else again. And I did, ’cause I didn’t want him taking after me with the bullwhip. When it was over, he tossed Gage in the bed of the pickup and we drove him home and dumped him on the porch. His old man came out and Dad told him everything, yelling and cussing, and finally Gage’s dad ran us off with his shotgun. I haven’t seen him or talked to him since.”

His eyes had darkened more as I’d been speaking, and I’d seen the fury there and the way he’d clenched his fists, shifting his body from a gentle lean to ramrod straight. He shook his head at me and I slumped down in the chair a bit more.

“You were afraid. That’s your excuse? You were standing beside your best friend, someone who apparently you thought enough of to be making out with, and you were too afraid to stay by his side and face your dad together? I never figured you for a coward, Asher, or a backstabber.”

I looked down at the floor, my face heating up with shame.

“If I were Gage, I wouldn’t want to see you after that, either. I suppose Eve doesn’t have a clue, or she wouldn’t have been bothering to text you.” His eyes narrowed. “What were you doing making out with Gage in the hayloft when you were going around town with Eve hanging off your arm? Every time I saw the two of you together you had your hands all over her and your tongue down her throat.”

“Yeah, I know; that’s what I wanted everyone to see.”

I could see the wheels turning in his mind then, and I knew the moment he figured it all out.

“You used that girl. Christ, Asher, she adored you. How the hell could you be so cruel?”

“I didn’t know what else to do,” I said, knowing it was no excuse, but at least I was being honest.

“You couldn’t think of anything else to do but lie and prey on people’s affections and sneak around, and then betray the people who trusted you? You cheated on her, and then abandoned her with your son who you refuse to acknowledge or take care of in any way, and all of it was because you didn’t want people to know you were gay?”

“I’m not gay!” I yelled, blinking, furious. I’d come up out of the chair so fast it almost fell over. “I’m… I’m bi, I guess. I like girls and guys, okay? Not like it’s any of your business, or anyone else’s.”

He nodded, a look of disgust on his face as he stared at me. “You’re right, Asher, it isn’t any of my business who you like, though lord pity them.”

Okay, that stung.

“I can’t remember the last time I was as disappointed in anyone as I am in you right now. I thought I taught you better than to treat people like that, Asher. My God, would you have stood there and watched if your father had decided to kill Gage? Would you have helped him?”

For some reason, and I don’t know why, all my brain heard in that moment was “your father,” like the possibility was no longer on the table that I was Morgan’s. “No,” I finally said, unable to look at him.

“I always hoped none of you boys would turn out like him, but I see so much of him in you and Colton.”

“You’re the one who let him raise us,” I blurted out.

“Well, in your case he had every right to raise you,” he said, pushing himself away from the door and over to the desk, where he picked up a piece of paper and handed it to me. For a moment I stood there, tryin’ to make heads or tails of it; then it dawned on me what I was reading. It was the results of the DNA test we had taken. There were numbers on the bottom, and the words “Morgan McKinna is excluded as the biological father of Asher Logan.” Excluded; that meant he wasn’t my dad. I let the paper fall back on the desk and backed away.

“What about...did Alexia...is she...?” I tried to ask, but I wasn’t doing good with words right then.

“Yes. Alexia is my daughter.”

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