Page 2 of Woven Souls

He doesn’t trust me.

Viktor has said nothing about what occurred that night. Not about the shady behavior of Rowan and his men, not about Kwil’s attack on me, and especially not about what I did to the woman downstairs. I’ve yet to bring it up with him. There’s hardly been any time to chat, let alone for a heart-to-heart. The past few days have been filled with monster killings, keeping Kwil in check, and searching for the two people we, noI, betrayed.

“You can join me.” Maybe if he sees me in action, he’ll see that this isn’t an interrogation.

Viktor’s gaze drifts around the room. “You can do it. I’ll make sure Kwil doesn’t wake and freak out on us.”

With that, he turns and leaves me alone. I’m not sure if he believes me or if he just doesn’t want to be around when Willow wakes. Suppressing a hard shudder, I breathe through the heavy penitence that’s both freezing and blazing through me.

Ihaveto fix this.

Taking the glass of water, I head towards the basement door. When I open it, the cool air drifts up and hits me in the face. Squaring my shoulders, I force my feet to move. When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I find Willow has indeed awoken. She’s sitting up on the mattress I brought down for her, but her shoulders are hunched over. The sedative she’s been shot up with is a beast. Even with the lower dosage, she’s going to feel it for a while. Maybe it will keep her calm enough for her to hear me out. Her head lifts slowly as I stand there.

“You’re awake.” My voice sounds hollow even to my own ears. “Good.”

When I move towards her, slowly so as to not alarm her, I can see a shiver shake her body before she tries to straighten her spine. I take the chair that sits between her and Jonah and set it down in front of her. Then, I place the glass down by my feet and brace my forearms on my knees. Anything to make me smaller and less intimidating.

Willow says nothing as she stares up at me. Her eyelids are only half open, and there is a slight sway of her body. In the dark, it’s hard to see, but I know she’s lost weight. It’s in her cheeks and the fit of her clothes. The deep, dark shadows under her eyes speak to her lack of sleep. As we chased them, I could see the unsteady gait in her walk. Watching her double over in the middle of the street was hard.

Without our souls intact, the last week was agony for the three of us. Even now, with her near, the ache has barely settled. But whatever we’ve suffered, it’s nothing compared to what Willow must have endured. Add this to how we’ve treated her, stabbed her and then knocked her out, Willow has suffered. A lot.

This has gone on far enough. I have to make it stop.

“You’ve put me in a precarious situation, Willow,” I start after a long stretch of silence. I wince. Am I blaming her for this? I’m an idiot. “The only way to get out of it is with your help.”

Willow laughs. It’s a weak sound. One that causes the hairs on the back of my neck to rise in alarm. She’s really not doing well.

“Sure, Theo. How can I help you?” Her voice is scratchy.

I try to smile. At least she’s willing to entertain a conversation.

“Thank you for your cooperation. Let’s begin.”

I reach down, grab the glass of water, and hand it to her. Willow reaches out for it with both hands since they’re tied together. The cloth is loose enough she could probably just yank her hands free. I only tied them together because if she woke up panicking, I didn’t want her clawing and scratching at us before we could calm her down. It’s strange she hasn’t figured out how to free herself yet.

The reason becomes clear a moment later. Reaching for the cup, her hands only make it a few inches out of her lap before they start to shake and drop back down.

Guilt makes me feel ill. I forgo the chair and move to help her. Willow’s body flinches hard as I lower myself onto the mattress and scoot next to her. Being this close to her, and to the piece of my soul she keeps, eases the deep, unrelenting ache. I can tell Willow feels it too when she gasps and leans towards me. I planned to leave a little space between us, so she would feel more comfortable, but a magnetic force has me gathering her under my arm to pull her close. Willow doesn’t fight it. In fact, her body relaxes, and she lets out the smallest moan of relief.

“Here.” I raise the glass to her lips.

While Viktor seems to have trouble meeting my gaze, Willow meets it disconcertingly as I tip the glass up. Knowing how stubborn she can be, I half expect Willow to fight me on this. Instead, she drinks eagerly. She doesn’t stop drinking until the glass is empty. I place it on the floor beside me and turn my attention back to Willow.

I don’t know where to start or really what to say, but I find my resolve and cling to it as I open my mouth.

“I made a mistake, Willow.” How inadequate are those words? I swallow and try again. “What I did to you is reprehensible. You didn’t deserve that. When I brought the blade up, I truly had no intention of killing you. I thought that if I could make your deathlookconvincing, they’d let us go and one of us could slip away with you to get you help. In my head and in the moment, it felt like the right decision. I was desperate and that desperation led to a serious miscalculation on my end. To say ‘I’m sorry’ wouldn’t give you insight into the depth of the shame that I have for myself. But it is a start, so please hear me when I say that I, Theodon of Windom, am so incredibly and wholeheartedly sorry.”

I want to promise I’ll never do it again. That I’d rather take my own life than replay the moment when I threw all my pride, integrity, and honor out the door. But I don’t think she would believe me. I don’t even think she believes my apology now if her expression is anything to go by.

“Good to know,” she says softly.

Her gaze finally moves away from my face to stare into the darkness. The urge to reach out to take her hands, to comfort her in some way, is nearly overwhelming. It’s taken a week away from her to realize how much I actually enjoy Willow’s company. I miss her smiles, the coy look in her eyes when she’s challenging Viktor, and her laughter.

I want to beg for her forgiveness. I’d get on my knees and stay there until they’re raw if I only knew that she’d truly take my sincerity to heart. My face heats as I struggle with the self-hatred curdling inside of me.

“I’m at a loss for what to do,” I admit in a whisper to her.

“So, you tie me up and hide me away in a basement?” Her voice doesn’t sound nearly as raspy now. “Great start.”

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