Page 45 of Woven Souls

Her voice trails off as her bottom lip trembles. As she looks away from me, I catch the flash of hurt in her eyes.

My heart squeezes painfully in my chest as guilt makes me feel ill. It turns out Death’s daughter fearsme. This is not how it’s supposed to be. It’s not right. This woman saved my life. No, not just my life, my veryexistence, yet now I haunt her dreams.

“Turns out we share a similar nightmare.”

My confession surprises her. She turns to face me again. Her frown deepens.

“Really?”

Her disbelief strengthens my guilt. I’ve made a horrible impression on Willow for her to think that night couldn’t bother me.

“Really.” I nod once. “Except in mine, I try to let you go or to pull you away, but I can’t. I have to stand there and watch as…”

My mouth shuts abruptly as a knot forms in my throat. Willow’s expression softens as tears mist in her eyes. Oh hell, she better not cry on me. I can’t stand tears. Before I realize what I’m doing, I find myself pushing away from the fridge and moving towards her. She stiffens, but otherwise doesn’t move. I stop just before her.

“I won’t let anything like that happen again, Willow.”

Slowly, she nods. I don’t see any doubt in those lovely eyes that seem to see too much, but… I feel the need to explain. Actions speak so much louder than words, yet sometimes words are all that can be given.

“I-I lost my way a while ago.” My words are stilted. “I didn’t know it until we met you and then I started hearing it every time I opened my mouth. I wasn’t always this person—”

For the first time in thirty odd years, I poke at the wound I’ve kept hidden. I want to talk abouther.The woman I refuse to think about. Willow needs to understand. Yet, I don’t know if I can utter Eleanor’s name without falling to my knees.

“You were right, on the way to dinner. Keeping my emotions bottled up, it hasn’t been good for me, or the people around me. I guess… I guess my pain has been coming out in different ways. I’ve become this person I don’t recognize. I don’t want to be this way.” I grimace as I think about how horrible I’ve been. “And it took you calling me out on my bullshit and your kindness when it comes to my limitations to realize I need to change.”

I think about that day on the side of the road where she showed me another way to “see.” Instead of allowing me to push her away, she’d been patient and kind. Then there was last night, when her magic stole into my body, helping me see without making me feel inadequate or lesser. It is her thoughtfulness that is unraveling the rough exterior I’ve wrapped myself in to keep people out.

“That night with Rowan, I stood there warring with myself on what was right and what was wrong. Beforeshebroke me—” I swallow hard. “—I never would have let the situation with Rowan occur. In my head, I knew that, but I was so…”

How do I explain the utter faith I have in Theodon, who has been guiding me through my rages, helping me through my pain and accepting the worst side of me? I’ve been leaning too heavily on a man who already had too much weight to carry.

“I’ve been—” I wince, hating the way my voice thickens with the emotions I’m struggling to keep at bay. “—broken for a long time. Give me… I need more time, but I think, with your help, I can get better.”

Fuck, I sound crazy. Judging by the weird look Willow gives me, I know my craziness has been noted.

Suddenly, she lunges at me. I could have stopped the attack if I wanted to, but if Willow wants to hurt me, I deserve it. I brace myself for impact. When it comes, it’s softer than expected. Her arms wrap around my waist as my hands fly up and she… Wait a minute, is sheholdingme?

I blink in surprise.

Okay, well, this isn’t the attack I was expecting. Nor am I ready for the onslaught of emotions that comes with it. The jolt of swift and undeniable relief breaks through the knot in my throat and weaves through the colder parts of my body. The peace that comes in the wake of the relief sinks into the deeper cracks of my very being. That feeling is so warm, muscles I didn’t even know I had loosen.

When I take a deep breath, my heart swells, and my lungs expand fully. Unexpected tears blur my already poor vision, but I manage to keep them at bay as my arms come down incrementally until I find myself wrapping them around Willow’s curvy frame. When was the last time I was held like this? Long before the Brotherhood, that’s for sure. I forgot what it feels like, and now that I’m in this embrace, I don’t want it to end.

I breathe in her scent: vanilla bean, honey, and a hint of pine soap body wash. It is only supposed to be a sniff, but I find that I can’t stop drawing in deep breaths of it. My dick, which had just started to soften, grows hard again. Her soft body presses against mine, giving me a wordless forgiveness that I don’t deserve. It kindles the flames of desire that were stirred from the dream I awoke from.

Fighting this feeling is about as impossible as stopping a crashing wave from hitting the sand. I don’t know if she can sense the storm building inside me or if she feels the same way, but Willow lifts her head to look up at me. Those green eyes are full of wonder, and her beautiful full lips are parted ever so slightly.

Just like in my dream.

I don’t think; I just move. Lowering my head, I capture her lips with my own. In my head, thunder claps and lightning flashes. Fire roars through my veins, consuming everything in its path. When it’s done rushing through my limbs, the sensation comes roaring towards my heart. It doesn’t slow down when it arrives at its destination, and when it smashes into the walls I have erected around the withered organ, those walls melt away completely.

Then my heart is consumed with a blaze that Willow has ignited.

The organ is turned to ash, only to be swiftly rebuilt. I can feel it growing stronger and larger, capable of feeling everything without limit. I sweep my tongue over Willow’s bottom lip before gently sucking on it. Willow opens her mouth, allowing me entrance, and I accept at once. Our tongues greet one another. Willow’s soft moan spurs me on. I pull her closer to my body.

I want to ravish this woman.

I’m not in control of my hands. My palms fall to her wide hips where my fingers dig in before I lift her up. Willow’s legs wrap around my waist. I take several steps forward until her back is pressed against the wall of the kitchen. As I lean into her soft body, I can feel the warmth of her core through the thin material of her pajama shorts. I press my erection there between her legs as my hips jut forward. Willow groans as she grinds against my hardness.

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