Page 46 of Forever Fallen

It would break her heart to fall for this guy and watch him walk out the door… and she was already much too close to falling for him.

“These last few days, while terribly hard, have been nicer than I ever expected… you know? I can’t see any of that changing easily. I mean, I assumed you would visit during a holiday or two – and you would have a place to come home to.”

“I get four weeks a year to come home.”

“Oh…” Sophie said, feeling her heart sink slightly. “That’s it?”

“Yeah,” he replied, watching her closely. “I would use those four weeks to come home every time… and annoy you to death – if you’ll have me?”

There was something in his voice that caught her attention as she looked up at him, realizing he was just as nervous at these steps between them. All this cool bravado was such an act.

“Of course, you are welcome here, Ryan…” she breathed, touched at the sudden show of insecurity by this stern and quiet man. “Your home is with me… for the next five years.”

“Or so…” he amended, smiling hesitantly – but that smile didn’t reach his eyes. In fact, he looked almost disappointed.

“Or so,” she repeated, trying to get him to smile. “Will you miss me when you leave in three weeks?”

“I guess we’ll see… maybe,” he replied evasively. “I mean, who else will get snot on my uniform or fart during the night. You might want to get that looked at. It’s loud.”

Sophie’s eyes widened in disbelief and abject mortification at the casual way he was talking about bodily functions… and hesitated.

“You are a complete turd, you know that?” she hissed in disbelief.

“So, you didn’t let one rip?” his lips twitched slightly. “I thought something fell off the nightstand and realized that noise was from far away…”

“Why do I even try…” she muttered, walking away. “I swear… you are disgusting, rude…”

“Don’t forget to add ‘yours’on that list…” he called out as she walked away, marching up the stairs to throw on a t-shirt and pajama pants in order to relax for the evening. Why bother to dress any other way, especially for Ryan, because he obviously thought of her completely differently than she thought of him.

This was precisely why she avoided relationships and dating.

Men all thought the same way – booze, partying, bodily functions, and sex. Even Ryan had suggested she join his bed, and they were barely married a full day. It wasn’t like they had a prior long-standing relationship either.

He’d told her in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t attracted to her on the plane… so why did he keep up the pretense?

Was it to keep her off balance because he actually couldn’t stand her and didn’t want to engage any further with her than he had to?

Men were pigs.

… And she had stupidly married the biggest one!

Shutting and locking her bedroom door, she changed clothing but decided that instead of going downstairs, she was going to hide away from the world and recoup for a bit.

Fluffing her pillows, she pulled the blankets up to her chest, adjusted her angle so that she was sitting, and grabbed a romance book from her nightstand. She’d started this book repeatedly but never finished it. When it just got too cheesy or corny, she would put it away.

It was hard to read something when she couldn’t put herself in the character’s mind. Reading about a woman who fell in love with a reformed rake who changed his ways for her… well, it was frankly a load of hooey because a tiger didn’t change his stripes.

Texting Ryan, she thought of her own wretched tiger.

Skipping tea…

I think I’m going to just get some rest. Goodnight.

Sophie waited until the text message showed it was read and expected him to reply when she saw the three dots appear. They disappeared and reappeared a few times indicating he was typing something – but she never received any text back.

She could hear him moving around downstairs and fought the urge to go down and spend time with him – especially after he’d been so sweet today. Picking up her book, she steeled herself against the notion.

“You don’t need anyone, much less a guy that accuses you ofnastinesslike that…” she muttered aloud. Settling a little further, she started to read and kept checking her phone, only to see that there was no response.

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