“I love that picture…” she whispered before she even realized she’d said anything. “You look so proud and happy there.”
“I was,” he admitted, smiling shyly. “It was my birthday and I’d just gotten my woodchipper badge. Mom was able to get off of work and come to my ceremony, so it meant a lot to me. You know?”
She saw him pull out another photo, realizing it was his graduation from the Air Force Academy… and she couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her. He’d been such a baby almost and looked so young compared to the mature man before her.
“What are you laughing at?”
“You look adorable.”
“I looktough,” he corrected, laughing. “You can’t beadorablewith a call sign like mine.”
“No, it’s cute and you look so innocent,” she smiled up at him, laying a hand on his shoulder easily and it felt incredibly natural, this closeness between them. “How did you get assigned a call sign so grim as Reaper?”
“My scores…” he admitted proudly. “When I took classes, did drills, and got to fly – I had a way of just looking at things differently, maneuvering around, and clearing the field ahead of me. My instructor said it was like, ‘watching a reaper sweep a scythe across the playing field’… and Reaper just stuck with me.”
“It suits you,” she admitted. “You do have a different way about things and an incredible outlook…”
His soft, surprised glance nearly disarmed her.
“I’m so glad we met - seat thirteenAAAAA…” she teased, drawling out the letter, mocking the way he’d done so on the plane.
“It was thirteenBeeeee…,” he laughed easily, smiling at her. “I’m really glad we met too – and I apologize for being such a jerk.”
“Apology accepted.”
“You could have said, ‘No, Ryan-you weren’t a jerk…” he mocked, smirking playfully at her.
“But ya’ were…” she countered pointedly, laughing.
“Okay… okay,” he smiled. “I’ll admit it. I was… but that is only because I was trying to look so cool for this gorgeous woman before me.”
“You say that…” she teased – and caught her breath at the look in his eyes as he gazed at her.
They stood there close to each other, silent, as if no words were needed. This easy, carefree camaraderie they were building was nothing compared to the emotions coursing through her that second.
“I’m not going to be ready for you to leave…” she admitted openly, feeling her eyes sting. “I’m going to miss this - and miss you - terribly.”
Ryan swallowed and nodded, before speaking. His voice was gruff and thick with emotion that was almost her undoing.
“I’m not going to be ready to leave either. I will miss you so much, Sophie…”
“This doesn’t seem fair, does it?” she whispered.
“No, it doesn’t – unless this is just a way for us to grow in the grand scheme of things? I can honestly tell you that everything about you is breathtakingly beautiful to behold and I will dream of seeing that tenderness in your eyes.”
Blinking quickly, she started to turn away to wipe her eyes – only to feel him pull her close in his arms.
“I’m scared because I don’t want to end up hurting either of us…” Ryan said softly, smoothing her hair tenderly. “And can easily see myself falling for you.”
Sophie hesitated, feeling a slight stab of pain as she realized she wished he would have admitted that he was already in love with her.
That would have just made things hard between them though, wouldn’t it? If Ryan was leaving, the last thing she wanted was to tell someone she cared for them – and then say goodbye in the next breath.
“I’ll go move the sheets into the dryer,” Ryan offered, pulling away… and she realized he was running. Instead of releasing his hand, she held fast to it as a different sort of understanding coursed through her.
He glanced at their hands where she held his – and hesitated.
“What if I’m the one who’s already fallen?” Sophie whispered, her voice full of emotion and terrified of taking the next step. “I don’t want to hurt either of us either but…”