Page 53 of Forever Fickle

“You want a corner piece, Jace?” her brother said, interrupting them and frowning at Karen. She blushed, seeing that protective look in her brother’s face that was very similar to her father’s. “Karen? You want one with the icing flowers?”

“Anything is fine,” Jace said.

“Yes, please,” Karen replied, pulling her hand back nervously at the attention they were getting.

Maybe this was all too much, too fast, she thought sadly and chanced a look at Jace, only to see his expression darken slightly as the conversation went on around them both.

* * *

Two hours later,Karen was driving back towards Yonder without saying a word. As she pulled up to the single stop light in town, she turned her blinker on to make a left towards Flyboys – only to hear Jace’s voice break the silence.

“Make a right please.”

“Huh? Oh, sure…” Karen uttered, blankly, realizing that they hadn’t even talked or said a thing as to where to go. She assumed she was dropping him off at Flyboys, but obviously he wanted to go elsewhere. “Where to? I kind of assumed you wanted to change out of your uniform and really didn’t have any other plans.”

“I just want to spend time with you while I can,” Jace said quietly. “How about we go back to your place?”

“Did you forget something?”

“No,” he replied, frowning. “I just feel like we are able to hide away from the world, all our problems, and that’s one place I’ve been happiest the last few days or so.”

“Really?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” he asked, looking at her as she pulled into the parking lot of the small building that housed a few condos on the edge of town.

Karen turned to look at him, feeling so many things swelling within her that it was almost overwhelming.

“Yes… for me, it is. I’m having such a hard time believing that you really like being near me. I’m trying, but I’m so scared that the moment I let down my guard will be the second I get hurt.”

“I wish you could believe me,” Jace whispered, his eyes looking so pained and so devastated. “I want you to trust me, not other people’s perception of me or what others think of us… but trust me –trust us. I know it takes time and I’m not trying to rush things, but I’m scared when I leave on Monday morning that you’ll be done with me.”

“I won’t,” she replied quickly.

“But that takes trust on my part, too…” he smiled softly. “I believe you and I hope that you can believe in me.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know,” he uttered, reaching out to gently cup her cheek where they sat in the car beside each other. “I know you are and that’s all that I’m asking for – that we keep trying, no matter what. When I’m gone, don’t give up on me.”

“I’m scared you will give up on me,” she whispered openly, looking at him – only to see him frown again. His thumb caressed her cheek as he stared at her, thinking.

“Can I ask you a question?” his voice was hesitant, almost as if he didn’t want to speak the words aloud.

“Sure.”

“Why is it so easy to believe that you aren’t good enough for me?” he asked softly, staring at her in disbelief. “I was so afraid that I would have to get past my reputation to win you over, but I’m thinking there is another battle there that I didn’t understand… and can see it now.”

Karen’s eyes widened in surprise – and reached up to pull his hand away from her face, almost as if she needed to put distance between them in order to make way for her retreat.

His question was uncomfortable and a little too revealing.

“Let me take you home,” she replied, not answering his question.

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“Let’s go inside, sit down, have a glass of wine, cup of hot tea, whatever, and talk about our future,” Jace urged. “I’m not giving up. I’m not quitting – and I’m sure not retreating. I really want to know what I’m facing so I can tackle this head on.”

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