Page 82 of Forever Fascinating

Matthew leaned down, almost as if possessed, kissing her with the intensity of a drowning man. He stopped moving on the dancefloor, and moved to hold her face in his hands, keeping them both still among the pushy dancers.

Finally, he released her, his arms wrapped around her torso, pulling her closer, as he kissed her passionately. His lips were firm, warm, yet soft at the same time and her hand slid up his back, pressing and urging him towards her.

She couldn’t get enough of him.

There was something so tempting about falling for the guy you weren’t supposed to be talking to. She felt like she was tiptoeing with danger, swimming in an unknown sea of emotions, yet sinking fast with each kiss into a blissful abandon… willingly.

As he broke the kiss, they stared at each other on the dancefloor.

Like recognized like.

She realized that he was just as far gone as she was… fighting so hard to take things slow, just like her, and failing happily. Without saying a word, not that she could have heard it anyhow, he slipped his hand into hers and walked her off the dancefloor towards the front of the club.

He kept looking back, as if he was afraid that she would disappear or melt away in the crowd, his eyes turbulent with unspoken emotion. When they finally entered the streets, he turned to her.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“I’ve got to get out of there because I can’t think,” he admitted, walking the streets with her, not releasing her hand. “And I really need to…”

“Are you alright?”

Matthew didn’t answer, he just kept walking along silently and then crossed the square, heading towards the street where their hotel was. His steps were rushed, like he was running… from her? From someone else?

He looked… almost afraid.

“Where are we going?” she asked again, looking at him, and tugging him to the side of the street away from the other pedestrians, so they could stop walking. “You’re scaring me.”

“What do you want from this? From me?” he asked suddenly, his eyes meeting hers. “What do you think happens if this goes where I think it’s going?”

“What do you mean?”

“If this keeps going between us, what do you think life looks like two months from now, a year from now, three years from now? I want you to tell your family that you’re happy… and I want tobethe one that makes you happy,” he urged painfully, his voice poignant, as he continued speaking. “…But what if this isn’t enough?”

Jana froze painfully at his words.

“We are in paradise. There are no worries, no reminders of our normal lives, and it’s easy to get swept away… but what happens when real life comes crashing back? What doesthislook like then? Are you going to be happy with the distance between us?”

“Do I have a choice?” she uttered painfully, looking at him, her eyes searching his where they stood on the street together. “I mean, if my choices are ‘deal with the separation and continue being a part of your life’… then that’s theonlychoice.”

“And what happens if you decide someday that it’s not worth the heartache and loneliness?” he whispered. The sheer ragged tenor of his voice scared her unlike anything else she’d experienced. “What happens then? To me? To us?”

“Is that what you’re scared of?” she breathed, suddenly understanding what those hidden ghosts that haunted him were. He’d told her about his youth, his childhood, his parents’ divorce, and now she understood all too well that hidden scar he bore on his soul.

“I’m terrified,” he uttered unabashedly, looking away and grimacing painfully. “And ruining our day with my insecurities.”

“Come here,” she urged softly, pulling him into her arms and hugging him, smoothing the back of his hair as he let out a shaky breath against her shoulder. She held him, realizing that despite the handsome strong man before her still housed hidden inside that lonely, scared boy needing comfort.

“Wait right here,” she urged. “I’ll be back. Don’t move, okay?”

Jana suddenly had an idea.

CHAPTER22

JANA

This was sheer insanity.

Walking back out onto the streets, she saw Matthew waiting by the door and the look on his face made her heart ache painfully just before he hid it. Everything about her life had been crazy lately – including this very idea.

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