Page 33 of Forever Fascinating

“Any of them with you smiling…”

“Oh,” she said weakly, feeling herself falter, as she looked at the screen, now blurring before her eyes. “I like this one best, so I’m going to make it your lock screen and your wallpaper. You can always change…”

“Jana, look at me,” Matthew breathed, causing her to draw in a shaky breath, before she did so.

It felt like the entire world was crashing down around her and this was completely ludicrous because they were strangers, barely friends, and yet… it hurt to think she wouldn’t see him again for an unknown length of time.

Her eyes met his – and she handed him back the cell phone silently.

“There’s a lot we don’t know about each other,” he began softly, taking her hand in his. “I hope you will be writing me, tell me about your everyday life and I will share with you what I can. There are filters on the emails, so I can’t give away things like position, what we are doing, or personal details, but I can say hello and tell you what is going on in my world.”

“I would really like that,” she admitted, smiling tearfully. “I’m not good at goodbyes. I’m sorry. I know it’s silly but…”

“I’d prefer to think of this as, ‘until I see you again’,” he offered, releasing her hand, and reaching out to touch her cheek. Her hand immediately touched his wrist, closing around it, needing to touch him.

“I like that,” she whispered, nodding.

“This isnotgoodbye,” he reiterated, before leaning towards her. Her breath caught in her chest, as she expected him to try to kiss her… only to have him lean towards her cheek. His lips brushed softly against her skin at her temple, as he paused. “I promise, this is not a goodbye between us, okay?”

She nodded, feeling his breath on her skin.

“No goodbyes,” she repeated softly, breathing in his scent. “This is ‘until next time’.”

“Yes,” he drew in his breath, and she could hear it audibly from where his lips rested against her hair, whispering to her. “Next time we’ll meet, talk, eat until our clothing is too tight, dance the night away, and then we’ll promise to see each other once again.”

“I’d really like that.”

He pulled back slightly, and she saw his eyes were full of regret, looking so torn, like there was something more he wanted to say… and shook his head silently and hesitated.

“What?” she whispered, curious.

His thumb slid across her cheek and touched the corner of her lips, making her heart skip a beat in awareness, as his eyes slid to them. The look in his eyes as he stared at her lips was telling and doing crazy things to her.

“Next time,” he said vaguely, smiling softly, before looking away. “Did I mention your perfume drives me nuts?”

Jana couldn’t help the smile that touched her lips at the casual way he changed subjects between them, realizing that maybe it was just too intense, and he needed the distance.

His words – and everyone else’s – hung in the air between them.

Slow down, take your time, get to know each other…

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she smiled… before it faded slightly. “Have a safe flight and take care of yourself, please. I’ll be waiting for that first email.”

“You too, Jana. Have a safe flight and email me when you get home, so I know you made it there safely.”

She nodded, feeling so alarmed at this sudden realization that they were parting for who knows how long.

“Matthew?” she balked, seeing him move towards the passenger door, his hand on the handle. He turned back to her, and she saw his eyes were bright with silent emotion as she spoke.

“I had a lovely time dancing with you yesterday and again today, plus the added bonus of stomping you in batting cages, playing Skee-ball, and joining you for dinner tonight. I’m so happy we met.”

“I am too. I just wish we had more time.”

“Next time,” she reminded him, seeing him nod as he smiled painfully.

“Next time, I promise.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she smiled tremulously as he did the same, almost a mirror of her, looking just as bothered by their separation as she was.

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