Page 89 of Forever Fascinating

He wouldn’t have made it.

* * *

Hours later,Matthew hadn’t changed his mind.

Ignoring the curious looks of the other airmen, he walked into the barracks that they shared around eight at night, dropped his bag on his footlocker without a word, and left to find a computer to email Jana.

Several of the men were sitting around, talking or playing cards, and he really just didn’t want to be there right now.

“Does Vapor look okay to you?” Reaper said bluntly in the distance.

“The man looks shell-shocked…”

“Or like he’s going to vomit…”

“Think he is going to be okay for flight tomorrow?”

“Guess we’ll see. I wonder what happened.”

“Poor guy…”

“Why’d you say that?”

“Nothing… just a gut feeling.”

Drawing in his breath, he realized that he wasn’t going to be able to discuss or talk about his trip until he had a chance to come to terms with the fact that he was here… alone. It was so hard, not only keeping things a secret, but knowing that her brother was here, disliked him, and realizing how different they could be.

“Are you okay?”

Matthew looked up from the computer terminal he’d just sat down at to see Caboose and Reaper standing there, looking concerned.

“I’m fine,” Matthew replied glibly, trying to hide things. “What’s up, guys?”

“How’s Jana?” Caboose said bluntly – seeing Reaper look at him in confusion before the man’s sharp, knowing gaze turned back to Matthew.

“Sorensen?”

“Can you two keep your voices down?” Matthew snapped, getting to his feet angrily. “I don’t relish round two with Hot Cakes, you know!”

“You’re dating… his sister?”

“Shhhh…”

“Are you okay, Vapor?” Caboose repeated. “You don’t look right.”

“I don’t feel that way either,” he said quietly, falling back into his chair. “I feel gutted, decimated, and a little overwhelmed.”

“So, it was averygood trip,” Reaper chuckled, patting Caboose on the shoulder, and smiling at his friend. “Nice ring, by the way… you might want to hide that thing.”

“It’s a souvenir,” Matthew replied innocently, grinning at the two unexpected friends he was able to confide in. “Whatever do you mean?”

“You know what we mean, Vapor…” the pilots acknowledged knowingly. “We’re happy for you, but you have to shake it off and get your head back in the game.”

“How do you do it?” Matthew asked bluntly, staring at Reaper. “How’d you leave your wife and child?”

“I never do… here,” he said pointing at his heart, his face grim as he pointed then to his head. “But I have to be in the right frame of mind here or I’m never going home.”

The brutal, candid words were just what Matthew needed to hear, he realized. Neither man sugar-coated things, treating him like an equal since the first moment, even though he could tell they couldn’t stand him on sight, but that had changed.

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