Page 81 of Fourth Wheel
I’ve put myself on a Dempsey Detox.
Untangling my life from his now that we’ve only got a few weeks left feels harsh, but it’s necessary.
I saw his life in a new light this weekend. Seeing him with his ex-fiancée, even after everything he said to me about her, opened my mind to so many possibilities for how his life could have been. I believe him—she left, and he would never go back to her because of the way she abandoned him—but maybe that’s the direction his life was supposed to go. Maybe they were meant to be together.
And I’m just… in the way.
We were only ever supposed to be a summer fling. Did we let things go too far? We’re so much more than hot sex now. I care for him deeply. I know he cares about me. But there’s a time limit to this—to us—and there always has been. There are so many forces outside our control reinforcing the idea that we are not meant to be.
We’re on different life paths that just happened to spark together this summer, but our paths won’t ever cross again. We were a once-in-a-lifetime cosmic collision. A spontaneous supernova that exploded and shined so damn bright when things were good. But now we’re careening toward the inevitability of the end.
Maybe NYC was always supposed to be it for us—our final hoorah. I’ll be heading back to California in less than three weeks anyway.
Maybe it’s better if we let that trip be the capstone of our summer fling. The next few weeks might not feel so damn heavy if I end things now. We could go our separate ways. We’d think of each other fondly. This summer is already positioned to live rent-free in my mind for the rest of my life. Maybe there’s something to calling it off while we’re at our peak.
My phone rings in the house for the third or fourth time, so I paddle my float to the edge of the pool and call it a day. The sun’s low enough now that it’s probably dinnertime anyway. I might as well shower and order food, then put myself to bed early again.
I make my way through the sunroom and into the house, locking up and setting the alarm system as I go. Andrew Adley hasn’t tried to pull anything since Dempsey beat him in the back parking lot over a month ago, but it still makes me feel better to have the alarms in place.
I yawn at least three times as I make my way through the lower level of the house. I’m not really hungry, but I know I need to eat. I decide Mediterranean sounds good, and will reheat well tomorrow, too, so I find my phone on the kitchen island and pick it up to place my order.
As soon as I see the screen, my heart drops.
Three missed calls from Dempsey.
Two from Jake.
One from Fielding, since I unblocked his number weeks ago.
Then one single text message.
Dempsey: Call me when you get this. It’s about my mom. She died in her sleep last night.
I drop my phone on the counter, and my heart shatters into a million tiny pieces for the man I’ve been mentally pushing away all day.
Chapter 42
Dempsey
We’vealwaysplannedforthe worst. An overdose. Liver failure. A major fall. A car accident she caused.
I never expected her to go quietly in her sleep.
The official cause of death is sudden cardiac arrest. But when Fielding tried to bring her breakfast this morning, she looked like she was sleeping, her expression placid and peaceful.
It’s a gift I never expected: an extended sigh of relief after all this time.
We called our family doctor, and we had some time to say goodbye to her together before they took her body away.
I checked in on her after dropping Maddie off at home last night, and we talked for a few minutes, but I wish I’d spent more time with her. I wasn’t all there. Instead, I was preoccupied with a girl I have no business worrying about.
I did kiss my mom goodnight. I told her I loved her. She squeezed my hand, and she said what she’s said to us our entire lives.
“I love you. Both of you.”
Even if we weren’t both in the room, that was always her thing. Recognizing that my life is intertwined with my brother’s in a way so few people will ever truly understand. She saw us both. She loved us both. And now she’s gone.
She wasn’t naïve to the reality of her situation. A planner by nature, she had everything mapped out and ready. All I had to do was make a few calls and pick a date to set her plans in motion.
