Page 96 of Fourth Wheel
“Please don’t tell me you’re really this dense.” He chuckles. “I watched you all summer. I had a front-row seat to the MadDem show over the last two months—”
“Don’t ever call us that again,” I interject.
“Whatever you say,Mr. Maddie Wheeler.”
I roll my eyes, but he schools his expression and continues.
“Being with Little Wheeler made you happier than I’ve seen you in years, bro. More than happy—fucking jovial. Whywouldn’tyou go to California to be with her?” he challenges.
Because of you.
I think it, but I don’t dare say it.
He never asked me to stay. The shackles between us are of my own making.
“You can’t hold back because of me,” he responds to the words I didn’t dare speak out loud. “If you want her, go be with her.”
I say nothing, instead huffing out a sigh of frustration. Why does it sound so easy when he says it?
Fielding rises to his feet and snatches up his workbook. “I love you, bro. But I refuse to be your excuse anymore. Either go be with your girl or stay here by yourself. The choice is yours.”
He dog-ears the page of his book before snapping it shut and walking away.
Is this real? Will he really follow through with his intentions? Is this med school plan going to stick?
But who am I to question his desire to move forward? Maybe my happiness can’t be dependent on his stability. I don’t trust him enough to get his shit together. But I also don’t trust myself enough not to go down in flames in solidarity.
If Fielding’s going to take the MCAT and go to med school, then I need to do something with my life, too. I have to live. I have toletmyself live. I have to unshackle my life from his and move forward, regardless of what happens next in his story.
Chapter 52
Maddie
Five Weeks Later
Eachslapofabean bag against the board reverberates through my chest and prickles the pit of my stomach.
I shouldn’t have come here this weekend.
Spending Labor Day at my brother’s lake cabin in Michigan is something I look forward to at the end of every summer. It’s my last hurrah before I buckle down and get serious about the fall semester. But I’ve been living in a state of disconnected purgatory for the last five weeks. And being here—surrounded by family but not with the one person who means the most to me—feels like more than I can bear.
“Really, bro?” Jake gripes as he flips up his Ray-Bans and glares at my brother. “We were up by six and you just fucking handed them the win!”
Tori does a happy dance and kisses Rhett on the cheek while Jake’s husband Cory sinks two bean bags in a row.
“Winner, winner,” Cory declares, wrapping his arms around Jake from behind as Jake sulks and pretends to be salty.
He spins in his husband’s arms and mutters, “I’ll show you a winner tonight,” before kissing him senseless.
I turn my head and fight back tears, only to see Rhett and Torialsomaking out behind their cornhole board.
Gag. Me. Now.
The constant PDA is a lot on a normal day. But add in that I’m secretly heartbroken and still reeling from having to leave Dempsey, and it’s more than I can take.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I walk back toward the cabin. I knew it would be tricky to come here and not think of him, mostly because I’ve done nothing but think of him over the last five weeks. But being so close to him in a place that feels like home burns in a totally unexpected way.
I wave to Judy in the kitchen as she stirs what looks like lemonade. I don’t bother stopping to chat—what happens next is inevitable, and I just need to be alone.
