Page 60 of Had To Be You

“Ellie,” I hear Liam shout after me as I stab the button over and over again before racing to the stairs, barrelling down them as fast as I can in my heels. It feels like it takes forever, but I finally push through the doors to the lobby and head out to the street. The cool air crashes into me when my feet hit the sidewalk and I gulp in what feels like the first breath I’ve taken since I saw Mason standing in Liam’s office.

Realizing I need an Uber or a bus or a fucking bike for that matter, I try to force my body to stop shaking as I try to figure out what to do. I lose the opportunity when I hear Liam’s booming voice call out to me. “Ellie!” I am rooted to the ground, my back towards him. How can I face him? Face the man that has quickly become my everything. My heart, my soul, my person. And I’ve lied to him. From day one I lied, never wanting him to know what a terrible mistake I made. Too embarrassed for him to know the truth. Knowing that when he found out, everything we have built would be ruined, and he would hate me.

“Ellie, what happened there? What the hell is going on?”

He knows. Shit, he knows.

“Not now, Liam. I need to go,” I say in a small voice that sounds like it’s breaking. My back is still turned to him, the heavy pain in my chest making it hard to breathe.

“Like hell you are. You are not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell that was back there. You look like you saw a fucking ghost.”

I blow out a deep breath realizing that Liam doesn’t know the truth. Not yet.

I shake my head.

“Look at me, Ellie. What the hell is going on?” I can hear his footsteps getting closer. His hand wraps around my bicep but I pull away, turning to face him. His eyes search mine, his expression muddled.

“Liam-“

“Ellie. What just happened in my office? You are not going anywhere until you answer me.”

There’s a long silence. My hands are trembling, and my heart is on the sidewalk at my feet knowing that when he finds out my truth, he will never want to be with me. This is going to hurt so fucking bad.

“Does this have something to do with Mason?” he asks. “Do you know him? Did he do something to you?”

I don’t say a word. Fear is crippling me.

“God dammit, Ellie. Say something.”

And suddenly I say it. The words stutter from my mouth but nevertheless, I tell him what I so badly hoped he would never have to find out. “We’re married.”

He stares back at me, clearly trying to wrap his head around what I just confessed to him. He drags his hand roughly through his hair, and his gray eyes seem to turn black, to something resembling gun metal.

“You’re married? Tell me I didn’t just hear you say that.” His voice thunders, a look of shock flashes through his eyes. “Tell me, Ellie. Tell me!”

“I was young,” I say, my voice trembling, my hands covering my eyes in embarrassment.

Liam shakes his head, scrubbing his hand over his stubbled jaw. “I’m going to need a lot more than that from you right now. Mason? You are married to Mason?”

“Yes, Mason. But it’s not what you think. We were young and stupid and way too fucking wild for our own good. It was a mistake.” I shake my head, then force myself to focus, trying to read the expression on Liam’s face. “It was a long time ago. It’s not what it sounds like. Yes, technically I’m married but it’s more, really, that I’m just not divorced.”

“Dammit, Ellie. That is bullshit and you know it,” he snaps, shaking his head. “It’s you. Of all people, it had to be you.”

It’s me? Panic is overtaken by confusion, but I barely have time to process it before Liam is on the attack. His voice ricochets off of the pavement beneath us.

“This is so you, Ellie. So very fucking you. Married, not divorced - what is the damn difference? You are married and you didn’t think I had the right to know?” The muscles in his jaw tense, his hands curled into tight fists at his sides. “All this time, I’ve been sleeping with a married woman and you didn’t bother to think to tell me? What kind of warped, fucked up world do you live in?”

Tears pool in my eyes. I never meant to hurt him. Rage flashes over his face and he looks like a tornado about to destroy everything in its path. The vein in his neck pulses and I brace myself for what’s to come next, knowing Liam well enough to know that he feels betrayed, and that breaks me. You caused this, Ellie. You put that hurt in Liam’s eyes. This is your fault. You deserve this.

“I need to know what happened. You owe me that much, don’t you think?”

I’m trying not to cry. I know the enormity of what I’ve done. If I could go back and change it all I would. The last thing I wanted was to cause this man standing in front me, this man I love with everything in me, this much pain. I swallow the tears and tell him the truth. The truth that I should have told him that day at the coffee shop when I first began to feel more for him.

Wringing my hands, I take a deep breath and do what I know I need to do. I need to tell him what I’ve never told anyone except for my mother. My deepest, darkest secret. The skeleton in my closet.

“It was six years ago. I’d only known him for three weeks when we wandered into a Las Vegas chapel and got married. We had been drinking.” I blow out a long breath and shake my head. “I got married and I can’t even remember doing it, that’s how much I had to drink that night.” I hang my head in shame, my eyes glued to my hands. “When I realized the next morning what I had done I regretted it, but he was already gone. I tried to track him down but with no luck. He wouldn’t return my texts or my calls and then one day his phone number changed. I was young. I was stupid. Honestly, I was just so embarrassed. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Did you love him?” he asks, his voice cold and hard.

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