Page 61 of Had To Be You

I pause, knowing he’ll see right through me if I lie. And I’ve lied enough. But admitting I married a man I had merely fallen in lust with is humiliating. “No. I didn’t even know him. I met him at a party. He was charismatic, the life of the party. Everyone wanted to be in his presence. I got caught up in it all. It was just lust.”

“Well, that answers that,” he says flippantly, rolling his eyes, and turning away from me. My body instinctively wants to go to him, to wrap my arms around him and take away his pain. But I don’t. I stay where I am, my feet firmly planted, while my body aches for his touch.

“I couldn’t tell anyone for just that reason. I know how awful it sounds.”

“You’re right, Ellie. It sure as hell does. Jesus. Why would I be surprised that you got married in Las Vegas of all places, and that six fucking years later you’re still married - but only on a technicality.” He blows out a breath, turning to face me again before lifting his head to the sky, avoiding my eyes. I’m sure wanting to look anywhere but at me.

“Liam, when you and I started getting serious, I tried to get in touch with him, to fix this.” My voice breaks. “I swear, Liam. His agent wouldn’t put my calls through to him. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Now, Ellie? After how long? It only took you six goddamn years to remember to do something about it.”

My eyes follow him as he paces the sidewalk, his hands raking through his hair, rage and agitation radiating off of him in waves.

“Liam,” I plead. “What do you want to know? That I feel stupid? So stupid that I’ve never even been able to tell my best friends what I did? I’m so ashamed by the idiotic choice I made that night. I swear to you I was trying to fix this.”

I take a step closer and he quickly raises his hand up to stop me. “Don’t, Ellie.”

I stare at him, tears blurring my vision, willing him to say something. Willing him to understand. My lips quiver as I try to swallow the gravel in my throat to speak.

“Talk to me, Liam. Please say something.” My aching heart feels like it’s coming apart at the seams. I’m not sure how I’m still standing, how my legs haven’t given out. Devastation takes hold and a sob escapes me, a tear sliding down my cheek. Another follows it and soon I’m standing in front of him bawling. I frantically swipe at the tears with my hands, choking back the lump in my throat. I struggle to breathe, the intensity of the pain in my chest is so strong, it feels like the air in my lungs is being pummelled from my chest.

Liam finally looks right at me, and I see the storm, the fury in his eyes. His jaw grinds in a punishing rhythm.

“We are done here. I’m done.” His words feel like they were meant to destroy me.

“Liam, no!” I beg, so desperately that I barely recognize my own voice. “Please. I never meant to-“

“Save it, Ellie, for someone who cares, because that guy isn’t me.”

His words are like a sucker punch to the gut. The pavement beneath my feet feels like it’s dropped out from beneath me.

I’m going to lose Liam.

I can’t lose him.

My teary eyes search his one last time before he turns and leaves me standing there. I can’t bear to watch him walk away from me. I double over, shivering as I wrap my arms around my chest. The world around me continues to spin while mine has come to a screeching halt. I want to scream, punch something, anything to relieve this searing ache in my chest.

People stare. I can only imagine what I look like. Broken…watching the one man who has meant anything to me walk away.

I straighten my spine in time to see Liam disappear into his office building.

He’s gone.

The words I’m sorry left unsaid.

And I’m left here to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Liam

“Are you going to tell us what’s going on or are we just going to sit here all night? I know I’m not going anywhere until you admit what’s got you in this mood, and I’m pretty sure Parker isn’t either.”

Miles sizes me up with a stare over the lip of his beer bottle, resting his feet on the coffee table. Murphy looks up at me from where he lies on the floor at my feet. Even he knows what a pathetic loser I’ve been over the last twenty-four hours. I know, Murph. Believe me, I know.

My day was going great until I woke up. I somehow dragged myself through the day at the office, and just as I’d collapsed on the couch this evening I was surprised by a knock on my door from Parker and Miles. I made the mistake of opening the door without checking to see who it was, and now, after ordering take-out and watching a few innings of the Yankees game, the interrogation has begun. Fan-fucking-tastic.

“I just had a shit day at work,” I lie, knowing these two will probably see right through me but not having the energy to come up with a more creative excuse.

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