Page 67 of Had To Be You

“He’s here, you know.”

“I assumed he was, considering it’s his brother’s wedding day and that would make him the ultimate asshole if he skipped it,” I tease, and we both laugh an awkward, forced laugh because she’s Olivia, the closest thing I have to a sister, and she knows my heart is twisting in two.

Needing to change the subject, I pull her in close to me for a hug. “You are honestly the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen, and you’ve found your forever. You two deserve all the happiness in the world. I’m really happy for you.”

I just finish my sentence when Mrs. Bennett walks into the room looking elegant in a floor-length navy-blue evening gown. Her hair is neatly styled in her signature bob with a diamond collar necklace wrapped around her neck. My hands tremble in anticipation. I know we need to talk. I know I need to apologize. Her heels clatter across the floor, closing the distance between us.

“Olivia, that dress was made for you. Parker is not going to know what hit him,” Mrs. Bennett gushes with an approving smile, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Olivia’s cheek. “You have made me the happiest woman in the world marrying my son today.”

Olivia’s eyes mist over with tears and there’s a mad dash to get her a tissue, so she won’t ruin her makeup. Olivia’s mom swoops in with a box just as Mrs. Bennett’s warm eyes meet mine.

“Ellie, sweetheart, come here,” she says, holding her arms out to me with a smile that reminds me so much of Liam’s. “It’s good to see you.”

I’ve met Mrs. Bennett a bunch of times before, but this all feels so incredibly different. I smile warmly at her, wanting to make a good impression. Needing her approval. I hope she can understand why I did what I did, and that she can see in my eyes the love I have for her oldest son.

“It’s really nice to see you, too. Mrs. Bennett, I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute,” I say carefully after she pulls back from our embrace. My eyes search hers, looking for a hint of how she is feeling towards me.

“Of course, honey, but please call me Grace. Come over here.” She ushers me over to the opposite side of the room and sits on the edge of the bed, motioning for me to sit down beside her. I take a seat next to her. She is a woman I greatly admire. She’s the epitome of wealth and affluence and yet she understands that money cannot buy you happiness, and lives life as joyfully and abundantly as possible. She’s a wife, and a mother who has raised four of the best people I know.

“I’m not sure if Liam told you-“

“He did,” she says, stopping me from finishing my sentence and having to say the words that until very recently I’ve never been able to admit out loud.

I continue, taking my time choosing each word carefully. I swallow nervously. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t honest with Liam. I never meant to hurt him. It was never my intention.”

“Shush, sweetheart. It’s okay. There’s no need to apologize to me. It’s between you and Liam and I will support him in whatever decision he makes.”

Her words catch me off guard. It’s not the reaction I was expecting. Wasn’t that the part where she was supposed to rip into me for hurting her son? I’d deserve it, but I’ll happily go along with this instead. I bite my bottom lip, sure that she can see the fear and the guilt in my eyes. I’m not sure what to say but I know I need to say something. “I’m happy he has you to talk to. I’m just so sorry I wasn’t upfront with him from the start. I should have known better. I know I really hurt him.”

She places her hand over mine. “He’ll be fine. He’s feeling things for the first time and I think it scares the heck out of him. Be patient with my son. I know he feels the same way you feel about him,” she says with kindness in her eyes. “And if it’s meant to be, it will be. If you really love someone, you won’t let them go.”

Love.

I know what I felt for Liam - what I still feel for him - is love, but I’m not convinced that he was ever able to get there.

“I don’t know that he ever loved me,” I say softly, opening my heart to the only other woman in Liam’s life.

“Oh sweetheart, the writing was on the wall. He might not have fully understood what he was feeling, but my boy loves you,” she says, a warm smile spreading across her lips. I can’t help but notice the way that pride fills her eyes when she speaks about her son. “Come here.”

Removing her hand from mine, she wraps her arms around me in a hug and speaks softly in my ear. “It will all be okay. Thank you for talking to me. Now come on, we have a wedding to get to.”

The sound of the photographer interrupts the moment, but not before Jules, in a pale blue dress that matches mine, kneels down in front of us and places her perfectly manicured fingers on my lap. I force a smile, making light of an awkward situation. “What she said, Ells. Well, I’m not exactly sure what it is she said to you, but I know my mother well enough to know that I would agree. We all have a past. We all make mistakes. We aren’t judging you for yours.”

Squeezing my knee, she stands, reaching out her hand to me. “I was sent to grab you two for a picture. We don’t want to keep the bride waiting now do we?”

My heart expands in my chest and I blow out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. A strong wave of relief flows through me and for the first time in days, I feel a small sense of happiness. It’s nowhere near perfect, but it’s better than the gut-wrenching, cry-like-a-baby, near-paralyzing sadness I’ve been feeling since losing Liam. And as I walk towards my best friend on the most significant day of her life, I allow myself to feel this pure, simple joy, even if for only a few minutes.

The next twenty minutes is spent taking photos, drinking champagne and watching Olivia open the gigantic diamond earrings Parker sent her for their wedding day. My first instinct is to take a refill of bubbly to ease the nerves that have had me on edge all day at the thought of seeing Liam - and then another and another after that - but the need to be present to witness Olivia and Parker convinces me not to. I want to remember today and besides, walking sideways down the aisle is never a good look. Haven’t we all seen Bridesmaids?

“You look beautiful, Ells Bells.” The unexpected voice sends shivers down my spine.

I blink, frozen in place. My back is to the door, but I don’t need to see who just walked in, I would know that voice anywhere. I turn slightly to my right at Olivia with a did-you-know-about-this look and she shakes her head in a no. I quickly turn around in shock, a single word falling from my lips in a whisper. “Mom.”

I run to her and wrap my arms tightly around her small frame. “You’re here…I’ve missed you, Momma, so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, my Ellsie Bells,” she says, letting me go to take a step back and take me in. “It is so good to see you, baby. You look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.”

I can’t help the tears that are streaming down my face. It’s like the damn has broken and years and years of missing my mom have spilled through.

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