Page 69 of Had To Be You

Shit, she’s beautiful.

Her eyes twinkle, so wide and blue, and they do me in, like they always do. My body wants her, and I have to fight my immediate instinct to step towards her, reach out and pull her into me. But I can’t for more reasons than the obvious.

Halfway down the aisle, her gaze flicks over to me and our eyes lock. Her blue meeting my gray. Her expression shifts almost imperceptibly, but I see it change, from joy to sadness. I can’t look away. I can’t move. More than anything, I want to see her smile. I want to see that smile that I feel in the very depths of me. The one I melt for.

Ellie’s eyes travel to the opposite side of the altar and I feel an immediate sense of loss. She walks towards her place in line beside Kate and I still can’t take my eyes off of her. Her hair is pulled up into a twist, her shoulders exposed. I itch to touch her. I crave the scent of her skin.

When Pachelbel’s Cannon begins, I force myself to look away and I see Olivia take her first steps down the aisle on the arm of her dad. When she reaches the end of the aisle, Olivia’s eyes meet Parker’s. They whisper words to each other only the two of them can hear and take their places in front of the officiant. And for some fucked up reason, I find myself imagining Ellie in that white dress, and what it would feel like if it was me standing there with her, her hands in mine, pledging our love.

I take a deep breath, trying to compose myself, to calm the racing of my heart. But for some reason I can’t shake the feeling that we left money on the table; that this really isn’t the way our story was supposed to end.

We could start over.

We could try again.

My eyes find Ellie’s again, causing my breath to catch in my throat, and our eyes hold while the backyard and everything and everyone in it seem to fall silent. We stare at each for longer than two people who just broke up should. Something flashes through her eyes which I can’t quite decipher, but then slowly her lips curve up in a sheepish smile. Her smile. There it is. I can’t help but smile too.

A moment is shared between us and I can’t let it go by without doing something. “Gorgeous,” I mouth from across the altar, flashing her the grin that I know that makes her crazy. As I watch a blush slowly cover her skin I almost forget the hell and back we’ve just been through.

“Thank you,” she mouths back, with that quiet smile that sends a shiver of heat rolling down my spine and suddenly it hits me all at once that I want her. I want her back. No, I need her back. I don’t care about the rest of it. I fucking want her. I want her crazy, her sassy mouth, I want it all. Ellie Reeves was made for me.

I remember why we are all here and turn my focus to Olivia and Parker, but the soul-shattering realization that I need to have Ellie back keeps my eyes wandering back to hers, making me wonder what she sees when she looks at me. Does she see the forgiveness in my eyes that I so desperately want to give her, or the three words that sit at the tip of my tongue but I haven’t been able to say?

Not willing to wait for the ceremony to end to continue, I mouth, “That dress.” There is a heat between us, and it feels like our old selves finding our way back to one another. She’s smiling like she’s not sure whether to believe it or not, that I might be having a change of heart.

“Sometimes too much.” She mouths the words back to me, her eyes running the length of my suit.

I heave a sigh, remembering those exact words she said to me the night I took her to Catch 21, when she told me I looked handsome, and it was sometimes too much. I chuckle. This woman is everything I need, everything I crave and everything I never knew I needed. I’ll give her what she wants. Whatever she wants. I just need her back in my arms.

Our eyes leave one another’s momentarily, returning to Parker and Olivia when the officiant announces, You may now kiss your bride. Guests stand, clapping and whistling, while the bridal party files one-by-one down the aisle towards the pool, lead by the newly married couple.

With each step I take my mind narrows to thoughts of Ellie, needing to get to her and make things right. I’m a carnival ride of emotions and my heart pounds in my chest when I see her hugging Olivia. I bide my time, congratulating my brother then embracing Olivia. I can’t wait any longer. I inch closer to Ellie until I’m standing behind her, so close I could reach out and touch her, smell the sugary citrus scent of her skin. I run my fingertips feather soft from her elbow to her shoulder causing her to turn and face me. Her eyes, so blue under her dark lashes, meet mine over her shoulder.

I’m so far gone.

And I’m completely okay with that.

“Ells,” I say in a low voice as she turns to face me, knocking the air from my lungs. I’m always trying to catch my breath around her. Adrenaline begins to pump through my body.

“How have you been?” I ask, needing to know if she’s okay. Her eyes meet mine, glimmering with what I think looks like hope. I’ve ignored every attempt of hers to talk - the texts, the calls and even a knock at my door have all gone unanswered.

“I’m okay,” she whispers. Her voice is soft, uncertain, and her gaze drops to her hands that are fiddling with the ribbon on her bouquet.

“Can we talk?” I ask. I hope she’ll say yes. I raise my eyebrows, waiting for her answer.

She nods, so I lead her away from the guests now gathering around the pool towards the white tent that has been erected for the reception, where we can have some privacy. A flutter of hesitation crosses her face when we step inside and I face her, as she nibbles on the corner of her lip. Now it’s just the two of us. She sets her bouquet on a table and when she looks up at me there are tears in her eyes.

Her lips part, and a faint, soft sigh falls from her mouth. “This is all my fault. I’m sorry, Liam. I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me.”

I can see her struggling and it kills me. Her hands are tangled together, her fingers worrying through one another. Trying to put her mind at ease, I take her hands in mine and step a little closer, so our bodies are inches apart.

“It’s okay, Ells. I promise you, it’s okay. None of it matters anymore,” I say, squeezing her hands a little tighter in mine. Her eyes scan mine and there is a cautious hope in them. She blinks, like she’s trying to decipher my words. “We’ll get through it together…if you want to.”

Please say yes.

“Of course I want to. I’ve been so fucking miserable without you,” she says. Relief pours through me, but I remain quiet, letting her get out whatever she needs to say. “I hate myself for not telling you and I hate myself even more that I hurt you. I promise I’ll never shut you out again.”

“Come here,” I say, pulling her into my arms, resting my chin on the crown of her head and enjoying the feeling of her body back against mine. I close my eyes and remember how good it feels to be us. There’s so much more I want to do with her like sit with her on my patio and watch her do her crossword puzzles while we throw the ball for Murphy. Watch her eyes light up when I surprise her with one of her bucket-list destination vacations. Enjoy a bath with her in my tub that I’ve seen her admiring when she stays the night. A million other ideas float through my mind now that she’s back in my arms. I drop a kiss to the top of her head.

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