Page 16 of Lost Soul

It makes me laugh to think of her and Jessie together, ain’t no way she could ever handle a guy like him.

I’ve been pretending since as far back as I can remember that I don’t know what Jessie is capable of. Mainly for his sake.

He never talks about the club around me, it’s another one of the ‘club rules’. But that doesn’t stop me hearing things.

I listen to the guys working at the garage while I study on the benches in the yard. Hear them say how Jessie gets a kick out of what he does.

The women whisper that he fucks relentlessly after he’s finished an interrogation. I’ve listened for four years. Taken in all the little things that no one would deem relevant and pieced them all together. I know Jessie better than I know myself and I know that just like everyone else, he has a vice. His is infliction.

It didn’t come as a shock, especially as I’d seen it for myself when I was just eleven.

It had only been a week since I started high school and Jessie had been waiting for me by the gate ready to walk me home. I was proudly walking towards him, hoping that everyone would see me leaving with him. That’s when Stevie Fisher purposely stuck his leg out to trip me as I walked past the bench he sat on. I’d ended up in a heap on the floor in front of him. Of course, Stevie and his friends had found it hilarious, laughing at me while I gathered up the things that had fallen out of my hands. I’d ignored the soreness of my grazed knees and struggled holding in tears. I remember how Stevie and his friend's faces froze mid-laugh, how their skin turned white. It caused me to look in the same direction they were. At Jessie, coming towards them, eyes focused on Stevie, his nostrils flaring.

He’d grabbed hold of Stevie by the front of his checked shirt and used it to pull him to his feet. Taking one of his arms, he twisted it behind his back at what looked like a very painful angle, forcing it up so high that we all heard the pop and crack it made when it dislocated from the socket.

Jessie didn’t show an ounce of empathy for the kid who laid screaming in agony on the floor. He just bent down and helped me collect my stuff, walking me out of the gates and back home without saying a single word about what had happened.

Watching him hurt Stevie had made my skin shiver. It wasn’t even what he’d done, which judging on the accuracy of his pressure and timing I could safely assume wasn’t his first dislocation. But, the fact that during his assault I’d seen him smile for the first time since he’d come to live with Mama and me.

I’d never seen him look happy before that day. I’d been imagining it for so long, and it looked so good on him that I didn’t care what had caused it. I wanted to see it again and again, even if that meant getting tripped by Stevie Fisher again tomorrow, and every day for the rest of my life after.

I’d known then that Jessie was different from other kids his age, and never doubted for a second that he would wear the same patch as my daddy someday. He was a natural Dirty Soul.

I scan my surroundings, and when I see no sign of Maddy hanging around outside I head in the house. A group of girls I take a business class with are hanging in the kitchen. They’re nice enough, friendly and bitchy at the same time. But just because I hang out with them at college, doesn’t necessarily make them my friends. They don’t know me, I don’t share any of my secrets with them, and I’ve never told them about Jessie. But I do enjoy laughing at their jokes and listening to their gossip. I also figure that gossiping alongside them stops them talking about me.

Maddy eventually rocks up about a half an hour later looking sickeningly stunning. All the boys ogling her like they’re seeing her for the first time. I have to give her credit, she certainly looks different. She’s decided to ditch the glasses and wears her hair wavy, flowing down her back. Even her outfit choice isn’t terrible.

“Hey,” she says nervously, as she approaches us. And I fix on a fake smile to greet her.

“Maddy, you made it… Wow, girl, you look awesome.” I pathetically clap my hands together, causing her to smile back shyly. Then I waste no time taking her to get a drink. Time for the real party to begin…

Five drinks later and I’m starting to think the whole getting Maddy drunk plan could have gone better. For starters, I probably should have remembered to stay sober myself. I’ve enjoyed having fun far too much. Now, the music beating in my head doesn’t match the rhythm of the moves my body makes, and I’m a sticky, sweaty mess. I need fresh air, so I grab Maddy off the coffee table that she’s using as a stage and drag her out the house on to the porch.

The fresh outdoor breeze hits me with a rush that makes me even giddier than I’d been inside.

Both of us stumble, bouncing off each other's shoulders as we head for the porch swing and sit down beside each other. We’re still giggling over Rachel Kelly’s attempt to slut drop backfiring massively, resulting with her on her ass, legs in the air—bad night to forget your panties Rachey.

It hurts to admit, but after a few drinks Maddy is kinda fun, not at all what I’d been expecting, but I’m happy to roll with it. At least it will make the whole fake friend’s fiasco a damn sight easier. I notice two guys who were checking us out earlier conveniently make their way out after us and when one of them nods over, I see an opportunity and decide to grab it by the balls.

Without looking I know Jessie will be watching from his truck, he promised Daddy he’d keep his eye on me. There would have been a list of rules, and keeping drunk, touchy-feely boys away from me would be right on the top of it. Jessie isn’t known for his tact when getting a message across.

I throw the blonde one a friendly smile, and it doesn’t take long for him and his mate to make their way over. Time for Maddy to meet Prince Charming.

Or not.

I talk to blondie, ask him how college football is going, then act as if I’m fuckin’ interested when he tells me. He talks crap, and I pretend to listen, waiting for Jessie to strike. His friend sits next to Maddy and doesn’t waste any time making a move on her. She gets up from the swing and moves towards one of the porch columns, I’m guessing in an attempt to get away from him, and I can’t blame her if he’s anywhere as dull as his friend is.

He follows her, leaving a space beside me for blondie to sit down, which he immediately takes advantage off. I look down at his hand when it squeezes my knee, and it makes me smile. It won’t be long now.

Blondie must have mistaken my smile for encouragement because his hand starts to travel a little higher.

“You got a beautiful smile ya know,” he whispers in my ear, and my body jolts when I hear metal slam on metal. Looking up, I’m not surprised that it’s come from Jessie’s truck door and all the smugness fades from my smile when I see how angry he looks. Suddenly I panic that I may have gone too far as Jessie paces across the lawn, his jaw tensed tightly, his mouth scrunched into a snarl that would rival a wild animal’s.

My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach when he gets closer. Not just because the murderous look in his eyes isn’t on blondie next to me, or the fact that he’s marching straight towards the guy who now has Maddy pinned against the column. It sinks because of what I don’t see, the part of him that’s now missing. Jessie Donavon has taken off his cut… and he’s done it for her.

I watch Maddy arrive from the truck, she’s alone and totally overdone, but at least her dress has more fabric to it than Hayley's does. Her hair is loose and reaches all the way down to her waist. It’s the first time I've seen it that way and I like it a whole fucking lot. She looks real nervous walking along the sidewalk, stopping hesitantly as she approaches the party. At one point I think she might back out, but she manages it all the way to the front door, stopping when she gets there to chew her thumbnail before knocking. I can’t believe what I’m seeing, the door is already wide open, the party has spilled out on to the front yard, and yet there she is knocking at the fucking door, bitch is somethin’ else.

I shake my head, and laugh at how cock twitchingly cute she is.

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