Page 22 of Lost Soul

His face is covered with what looks like a ski mask, and he stands tall and big over my pa’s body. It’s hard to make much out through the thin wooden slats of the wardrobe door, but I see how he kicks my pa to check that he’s dead. I wonder why he bothers, even back then at that young age I knew that a bullet to the brain was foolproof. My pa isn’t gonna be jumping up and fighting back anytime soon.

The man left as quickly as he came but I still can’t move from my spot in the wardrobe. Probably through fear, maybe shock, or the fact that my PJ bottoms were stuck to my legs from where I’ve pissed myself. I stay put, staring on at my pa’s body and watching it grow colder. His lips turning the same shade as the cheap motel carpet. The only person I had left was gone, forever. Night turned to day. Sunlight eventually creeping through the curtains and lighting up the dingy room again.

Yet I still sat and waited, I wasn’t quite sure what for, or even if I really wanted whatever it was to come. I was lost. And in those lonely hours, I didn’t think I wanted to be found again.

A loud bang on the cell door shakes me from my dark memory. I stand up and manage to gather my shit together just before Skid walks in. He takes one look at the slumped body that’s still tied to the chair in the center of the room. “Hell’s fucked, take it you’re finished?” He laughs getting a closer look at what I’ve done to the Bastard. I nod, walking over to the rusty basin to wash my hands.

“Didn’t wanna keep ya waiting, so I made it quick,” I tell him, lifting the cigarette packet from my inside pocket, sliding one between my lips then offering one out to Skid.

“Nah. I’m good.” He shakes his head

“You quit?” I ask, surprised, Skid is never without a smoke.

“Me and Carly are… trying.” He smiles awkwardly. “Apparently smoking slows down your swimmers.”

I don’t mean to laugh, but that shit sounds too funny coming from him. Still, I’m not surprised. Skid looks like a mean assed fucker, tall and broad, with a black beard as solid as his loyalty, but he’s softer than any of us. He’s never hidden the fact that his old lady means everything to him. And since Prez lost Mary-Ann, and half the club moved to safer Charters, he’s been the only one of us around here who fucking had one.

“That’s awesome.” I slap him on the back. Skid would make a great Pa, when I first started hanging out at the club, he taught me everything I needed to know about bikes at the garage. Now he has Rogue under his wing, she’s been hanging out at the garage since she was eight years old and has grown into a proper firecracker. No one really knows what her deal is, but it’s obvious that Skid takes care of her, loves her like a little sister, perhaps even a daughter.

“Jess, do me a favor, don’t mention it to the others.”

“Sure thing, bro,” I nod, taking another drag at my smoke. “Let’s head for the table, I got plans for this piece of shit.” I tip my head at the ever-smiling Bastard before we head out of the basement and up to where the air doesn’t smell of blood and fear.

I don’t have time to change before church, so I go as I am, ain’t like any of the fuckers who sit around that table are squeamish and If we want to get our guns back, we’re gonna have to act fast.

Neither Daddy nor Jessie come back to the lodge that night, but Jessie is waiting for me in the kitchen when I get up the next morning. Drinking a coffee and despite looking tired, he’s still smokin’ hot.

“For what do I owe this pleasure?” I ask sarcastically, grabbing the box of cereals and pouring them into a clean bowl. Jessie passes me the milk, and I soak the flakes before grabbing a spoon and digging in.

“C’mon I’ve been busy, with—”

“Club shit,” I interrupt harshly before he has the chance finish.

“Yeah, Hay, with club shit. It’s always gonna be my priority you know that,” he says unapologetically.

“Story of my fucking life,” I shrug. This club has been priority to everyone in my life, I’m used to coming second to it. Doesn’t make me feel any better about it though.

Jessie must sense I’m upset because his voice turns softer.

“Look, your dad loves you. I know he can be a little overprotective, but after what happened to…” His jaw clenches, we never talk about Mama or what happened that night. “…Well you can’t exactly blame him, especially since we nearly lost you too.” A tense silence settles between us and I smile when I realize he’d used the word we. Jessie has missed my point entirely though. Yeah, the fact my daddy never lets me do standard teenage stuff bugs me, but not as much as the fact that he never spends any time with me.

“Come on, eat up and I’ll give you a ride to school,” Jessie breaks the silence first, finishing up his coffee while I quickly eat the rest of my breakfast.

We head down the hill and past the club, continuing down the dirt track that leads to the main road, and I notice a cop car pull off the road heading towards us. Jessie shifts the truck over to let it pass then rolls down his window and tips his head.

“Beautiful day ain't it, chief?” He smiles at the officer. “What brings you out here?”

“Mornin’ Jessie, heard there was some trouble over in a bar near Pueblo yesterday, wondered if any of you knew about it?” he asks, his eyebrows raised suspiciously. Jessie smirks, his head shaking slowly.

“You’re gonna have to speak to Prez about that.” Jessie winks. “Head on up, he fell asleep in one of the rooms upstairs last night, you’ll find him at the clubhouse. Maybe Jill might cook you something up for breakfast.” The officer rubs his lips together greedily, then with a small salute of his fingers pulls off and continues on the track up towards the club.

I recognize him, he’s the only law person that’s ever brave enough to come on the compound, and he seems friendly with the guys too. If I’ve managed to figure out that what goes on around here is far from legal, I’m sure he has too.

“Was that trouble something to do with you?” I ask Jessie.

“What do you think, darlin’?” He glances at me out the corner of his eye.

“I saw Troj yesterday afternoon. I was trying to find you when I got back from Maddy’s, he looked like he’d been in trouble.”

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