Page 58 of Lost Soul

“You sure you ain’t holding back a hot younger sister from me?” Troj teases her, his voice full of charm.

“Positive. Not that it would matter, even if I was, ain’t no way in hell I’d let any of you lot near her.” Carly walks towards me. “I’ll leave you to get settled, you know where I am.” She kisses my cheek. “Try and get some sleep.” I notice how she stops and whispers something to Jessie on her way out. I’m desperate to ask Jessie where Mom is. I know he’s been to my house, the bag he has with him is from my wardrobe.

“You okay?” He looks over to me when Carly closes the door behind her. I nod back, almost too scared to ask the question.

“Jessie. Where’s my mom?” I blurt out, and it isn’t a good sign that he looks disappointed as he steps closer to me.

“Your mom left town, darlin’.”

My heart freezes when my head manages to recite his words.

“No… she can’t have. She wouldn’t leave me.” He had to be lying, there’s no way she would just up and leave me.

“It’s okay, I saw her before she left. She was fine, she said it was too dangerous for you if she stayed. She’s in a lot of trouble with the Bastards. She knew they were using you, it was to pay off her debt to them.”

“What debt?” I ask, still struggling to believe him.

“Your tuition, mortgage repayments, she’d been borrowing from them faster than she could pay it back. You were her repayment plan, darlin’.” My hand slams over my mouth, I’m trying to take in what he’s telling me, and all I’m hearing is that this is all my fault. My tuition fees, our house. I would never have applied for college if she hadn’t told me she could afford it.

“But she worked for the man who’s in charge of them.”

“She worked for the club Maddy… Well, she hung out at the club kinda like…”

I hold out my hand for him to stop.

“Please don’t finish that sentence,” I beg. I can’t face hearing it. I’ve always suspected her job wasn’t legal. She never spoke about work with me, and when the guy who’d threatened me had introduced himself as her boss, I knew I’d be ashamed of whatever it was she did.

“I promised your mom I’d take care of you. She packed you a bag,” he changes the subject, placing the holdall on the table. “Nyx picked you both up a pre-pay.” Taking a cell from his pocket he places it on the table next to the holdall. “Your mom’s number is stored inside… Mine too,” he adds that last part a little awkwardly. “I’ve told her to turn hers on at 3pm Sunday afternoon so you can talk.”

“Where is she now?”

“Nyx is taking her to Utah, we got people there who will keep her safe for now. She’s right, if the Bastards think she’s skipped town they’ll assume she’s taken you with her. They’ll stop looking for you for a while at least. Tommy took her car and headed in the opposite direction. He’ll dump it somewhere and hope the news gets back to the Bastards, it’ll throw them off the trail.”

All this seems too much for me to take in at once. First, losing my friend, and now I’m not even sure when I’ll get to see my mom again. Still, at least she’s alive, and I’m safe, for that I have to be grateful.

Troj walks back in the room, flinging a holdall over his shoulder, his long hair now tied up roughly on top of his head.

“I’m outta here kids.” He smiles at me and slaps Jessie on the back. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” His eyes slowly roll over me and I feel myself blush as he walks out, closing the door, and leaving us alone.

“Follow me.” Jessie grabs my bag and shows me into the room next to the one Troj just came out of. He turns on the light and throws my bag on the bed before starting to pick up more dirty clothes from the floor.

“This your room?” I ask.

“Yeah. I’ll take Troj’s room. At least I know this bed had fresh sheets yesterday. You should get some sleep it’s been a crazy day. I’ll be out there if you need anything.” He doesn’t give me a chance to say anything back, he just walks out and closes the door behind him.

I check inside my bag; there’s clothes, a toothbrush, and underwear. My laptop too. Everything I’ll need for my stay, however long that might be.

Slipping out of Carly's jeans, I fold them up and hang them over the end of the metal bed frame. I tuck myself in under the sheets, feeling pleased that Jessie chose to give up his room for me when his natural scent comforts me. My head touches the pillow, and I start to unwind. I quickly realize that no amount of comfort will take away my pain. Hayley is gone, forever, and there’s nothing anyone can ever do or say to make that alright. Guilt plants itself in the pit of my stomach and embeds its thick heavy roots, ones that I know I’ll carry with me forever.

I take a bottle from the cupboard and head outside to my deck. Slumping myself on the good chair I look out on the lake that I’d promised Hayley we could swim in this summer. I’m watching the water gently rock when it hits me that we never will take that swim. It’s just another promise I couldn’t see through for her. Like the one to teach her how to ride a motorbike, and how to blow smoke circles. Even though she didn’t smoke, and there was no chance of Prez letting her have a bike. What crippled me most is that I’d failed to keep the most important promise. The one I’d made to her the night her mom died when I told her I’d never let anybody hurt her.

It’s my fault she become friends with Maddy in the first place, they’d been together today because of me. I’m the reason Hayley is dead, and I don’t know if I can let Maddy carry that guilt around for another day.

Prez decided to make Hayley's death legit, he wants Hayley to have a grave we can visit. Grimm took Hayley and rested her somewhere she would easily be found. I called Roswell and explained the situation, and Tommy made the anonymous call from a Prepay to the station to report her body, which was conveniently on Bastard territory. Grimm would have done a thorough job of covering up any traces of moving her. Smart fucker even had the idea to claw her fingernails through one of the dead Bastards wounds before he buried them. Hopefully, the Bastard he chose has previous, and his DNA is already in the system. Me and Prez hated the idea of Hayley's body being out there alone, but it’s the only way that we could bury her with her mama. Being together is what Hayley would have wanted.

I take a long drag of my cigarette, holding in the smoke until it burns my lungs. I’m still furious at myself for losing it with Maddy earlier, what I nearly did makes me feel sick to my stomach. And yet after everything, she’d still let me kiss her… she’d even kissed me back. Now she’s staying here with me, alone. The girl’s a lot braver than I’d given her credit for.

Down in the basement, for a tiny second, I’d convinced myself that she actually wanted me to carry out my threat. That sliding my cock inside her and taking her for myself was what she needed. I’d even imagined hearing disappointment when I walked away and left her tied to the pipe. Like she thought not having me was her punishment, but then I couldn’t blame my head for playing tricks on me, not today.

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