Page 106 of My Secret Bandit

“I do. I also know they aren’t here for you like I am.”

“You weren’t here last night.”

“One night!” I yelled, furious at him acting this way and myself for leaving him in the first place. “You’re mad about one night? That I couldn’t stay here only to be pushed further away or watch you continue to try to convince yourself that I’m not the reason you’re hurt right now!?”

“Move, Jamie,” he huffed and grabbed his crutches. The massive push of air might as well have been his fist connecting with my chest at the way he said my name.

I stepped to the side and took a minute before following him. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have left. I promised to be with you at every step, and I broke that promise. I’m sorry, Mateo,” I said, trying to smooth things over. “You can’t rush this. Doctor Baker and Jacob both told you that.” He knew what could happen if he did too much too soon. He could end his career right now, all because he wouldn’t follow a few simple rules.

“And what? You’re here to tell me again?” he asked, ignoring everything else and lowering himself to the couch.

“No, I’m here to support you. I can’t do that if you aren’t going to follow the medical advice they’ve given you.”

“How about this? When you can form some kind of understanding about how an athlete’s body works, you can give me all the advice and support you want. Until then, just don’t.”

Fucking touchy, indeed.

“Uh. What?” I asked with a bitter chuckle, tilting my head and crossing my arms over my chest.

Not that he could see. He was too busy staring in the opposite direction, leaving me looking at the back of his head while he talked. “I didn’t stutter. You know nothing about what it takes to get into shape and stay there. When you figure it out, let me know.”

Angry tears lined my eyes. “You realize what you’re doing right now?”

He took a long drink from a glass of water. “I’m trimming some weight.”

A numbness crept over me. I wasn’t even aware my fingers curled around the door handle until I heard the glass Mateo was holding shatter against the wall.

Slamming the door shut behind me, I felt the exact moment my heart fell apart. Felt when half of my being detached from the other and slipped back inside where it thought it belonged.

I felt my throat give out and my lungs squeeze together for the last stream of air.

I fell to my knees on the concrete stoop and sobbed, replaying the conversation, trying to figure out how it ended so badly.

I don’t know how long I kneeled there before Xander’s name flashed across my phone.

“Yeah?” I asked through a sniffle.

“What in the actual fuck? I haven’t even been gone five minutes. What happened?”

“I don’t know, Xander, but I’m leaving.”

“Fuck,“ he groaned. “Don’t leave yet. I’m coming.”

I don’t know if he meant he was coming to stay with Mateo or if he knew I needed someone. Either way, I waited for him.

Through my tears, I watched his car roll up the driveway.

He jumped out and ran to me. I didn’t fight him when he pulled me up and held me. His palm smoothed over my hair and down my back until I pulled myself away from him.

“Sweetheart,” he cooed, “what happened?”

“I don’t know. I can’t—“ I said as my entire body shook.

“It’s okay. Sit in the car. I’m gonna go talk to him.”

Once I was in, he ran inside, and I wondered what he’d find there.

Would Mateo still be sitting on the couch like he didn’t just rip my heart out of my chest?

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