She wanted to understand, and I wanted to explain everything to her, but I didn’t want to expose her to the harsh ways of the world either. I wanted her to believe that love held an infinite amount of power. That it was strong enough to allow even the worst mistakes to be overlooked.
But how could I get her to see that when I was still trying to believe it myself?
“We needed space. Time apart to think about the things we’ve done, things we’ve said.”
“Are you happy without him?” she asked with tears glittering in her eyes.
“No, sweet girl. I don’t know if that’s even possible,” I said honestly, brushing my thumb over her cheek to smooth away a fallen tear. “But I do know I will always love Mateo, and I will always love you. I hope one day we can be together again, and I’ll get to watch you grow up, but right now I have to take a step back. You can still call me when you want to, I’ll always be here for you.”
She leapt into my arms and cried until the credits rolled. When the time came for them to head home, they paused in the doorway, getting one last look.
“Mari,” I said before they started walking again, “I’m sorry I can’t be there when you leave. I wanted to be. Please, just be safe.”
“I know and I will.” She smiled sadly, then wrapped her arms around me and squeezed. “And when I get back, we’ll throw a big ass party. Everything will work out, Jamie. I can feel it.”
She pulled back and watched me. “I’ll see you soon.”
I watched their taillights fade into the darkness.
Back inside, I slid my back against the door and wished everything could be back the way it was before. I didn’t want to be away from Mateo. I didn’t want to miss Mariana leaving. I didn’t want to see the soul-crushing look on Amelia’s face when she got into her mom’s car, unsure if we’d see each other again or not.
WhatthehellamI doing here?
I walked through the shop full of tulle, sequins, and lace, letting my fingers slip over the materials while Xander and Sierra argued over which dress I needed to try on first.
“What does being a man have to do with anything? I dress damn well. And don’t even try to say I don’t. I see you checking me out.” Xander laughed, carrying his choice to the dressing room to hang inside.
“Um…gag. I’m not checking you out. I’m staring because one, you’re invading girl time and I’m focused on not strangling you. And two, I’m trying to figure out why we’re friends with you,“ Sierra said, shouldering him out of the way to hang her own dress up. “All right, hot stuff. Get in there.” She waved her hand to the open dressing room, and I drug my feet across the carpeted floor.
“Why am I doing this? It’s not like anyone expects me to go to the fundraiser anymore.”
“What the? I expect you to go. Jeff expects you to go. Only people who don’t are the ones who forgot you were a talented journalistbeforeyou became Mateo’s girlfriend,“ Xander said subtly, using present tense instead of past to describe my current relationship status.
Thanks, asswipe. I almost made it a full hour without thinking about him.
It’d been three weeks since I’d seen or talked to Mateo.
I saw Xander though, like a lot of Xander. He and Sierra came over the day after Thanksgiving and held me while I mourned my mother. He brought over a box of clothes and other things I needed. He invited himself to every girl’s night, and stopped by the office for check-ins. So, to say he took me by surprise when he popped into my office this afternoon would be a complete lie.
With a lot of resistance, he and his partner in crime drug me into this dress shop, determined to find me something for the team’s charity fundraiser.
Unable to tell either of them no, I stood in a dressing room, basically butt-ass naked, sliding an outrageously red dress over my hips.
Zipper secured, I stepped out, did a quick turn without even looking at myself, and went back into the dressing room to put the other one on.
Sierra sighed. “You’re right. Red isnother color.”
“I can hear you!” I warned through the closed door as the second dress replaced the first.
After twisting and turning to reach the little metal end of the zipper, I pinched it and pulled it closed.
This dress was more my speed.
Sheer black lace covered the nude-colored bodice, the neckline dipped to a V in the middle, then extended across the chest to cover my arms with long, off the shoulder sleeves. The skirt was solid black with a sexy slit that stopped mid-thigh.
Before I even stepped all the way from the dressing room, Xander clapped, giving Sierra a smug look.
“This is it. Stacy!” He turned to call for the saleswoman. When she walked over, he handed her his card and whispered something into her ear.