Page 30 of Courting Envy
Reon
ThingsfeltdifferentwhenI re-entered Rava's room. She was sitting on the couch, obviously trying very hard to pull herself together. I could tell by the redness of her eyes that she hadn't quite managed it.
"Are you okay?" I asked, sliding towards her.
She scrubbed at her face with the back of a hand, then looked at me. "I will be." She smiled sadly. "I have this ridiculous desire for him, and I know that he's really trying. Trying to go against his very nature in some ways, but he doesn't make this easy."
"You’re from different worlds, Rava," I said, coiling myself in front of her. "It will take time."
She huffed out a breath. "Why is it so much easier with you then? We’re from different worlds too."
I nodded, unable to deny it. "But I don't have the weight of a circle of Hell on me, and I don't have to care what others think, or defend my rule from those who'd like to see me dethroned. Lucien is under a lot of pressure right now, and he's not used to sharing."
"I guess he’s also not used to considering how someone might feel about being murdered and dragged to hell." She sighed again.
I reached out and drew her into my embrace, wanting to give her comfort. She folded against me, the smell of her a delicious mingling of human and demon. I might not want to have sex with her, but she'd wormed her way into my heart.
"Rava," I said carefully, speaking softly into her hair.
"Reon?" She tensed up, like she knew that I was about to say something she might not like.
"I know that you didn't ask for this, but you're here now. There's no going back." She tried to pull away from me, so I rushed to continue. "We have to find ways to make the best of the situation. You're a queen now, a queen of Hell. You can change things for the better, shape and influence Envy in any way you wish. You can do so much good here.”
She nodded against my chest and then drew back. I could see fresh tears on her cheeks, so I wiped them away with my thumb.
"I know you're right, but it's one thing to know it, and another to really believe it. Even after seeing it with my own eyes." Rava pushed her hair back, her fingers catching momentarily on her horns as she did. They looked so normal on her now; like they'd always been there.
I hoped soon that she'd feel the same.
"I just miss my family. My sister... She’s my twin." She glanced up at me, lashes heavy with unshed tears. "We’ve always had such a tight bond. A connection.” She huffed out a small laugh. “I don’t even know if this is a thing here, but back on earth, twins are said to be able to sense some of what’s going on with the other, even if they’re miles apart.” She clutched her chest. “I don’t know if it’s just everything that’s happening here in Envy, but I’m worried about her. I think she’s in trouble. She left a strange message for me after my concert and—” She broke off her sentence, then looked me in the eyes. “Sorry, I know that won’t make sense to you. The problem is that I can’t check on her. Make sure she’s okay. It’s killing me.”
I could see that she believed this, whole heartedly. And I had no idea what to do or say to make it better. Perhaps I could speak to Lucien, see if there was something he could do?
"Once the curse is broken—"
"No one seems to know how to make that happen!" Rava shot to her feet and paced away from me. "I haven't had a single conversation with Lucien where he can sit down and explain things to me. All I know is that he believes I'm the key – hell, that they all do – and Envy is the lock. But I don't belong here. I belong on earth."
I slithered after her as she made her way to the balcony she'd created just the other day. "I think this space here proves that you're wrong. The magic of Envy wouldn't respond to you like this if you didn't belong here. I know it doesn't feel like home right now, but in time it will."
"And I guess I have unlimited days ahead of me to get used to the idea," she said wryly. She leaned against the railing and looked down at the circle beneath us.
I wished that she'd been able to see the city when it was still beautiful and whole, before the edges of our circle began to erode and the residential parts started looking more like the torture zone than they had any right to.
I steeled myself, knew that there was something that I could say now that might make a difference.
And hoped that I could pick the right words.
"Unlimited, yes, but how many of them do you want to spend being miserable?"
Rava was silent, her eyes fixed on the view. I feared I'd said too much. The tension between us grew until I opened my mouth, but she beat me to it.
"I want you to go and arrange a meeting with Ragnar," she said, turning towards me, her face expressionless. "He offered to show me the armory, and I want to take him up on it."
That was a terrible idea. She couldn't fathom just what a bad idea it was. "Rava—"
"No. As you said, I'm the queen here, and I've just given you an order. Do you understand?"
I opened my mouth then closed it again.
