Page 50 of Plaything of the Dark Elf

Dalia

The past week has been absolutely perfect. Memories of my life before Etheron, when I was trapped in the dungeons, are still with me, but they feel squarely in the past. The fear I had built up as a survival tactic is not as present as it used to be.

Also, things have significantly shifted between me and Etheron. We’re closer than we’ve ever been. Our relationship has evolved.

I haven’t been this happy in years, not since before I was taken from my family.

There were times I thought I’d never find true happiness ever again. I’m glad I didn’t give up because now I have Etheron, and he makes my life better.

It’s strange though. I’ve also been missing my family a lot more. Every day I was in the dungeon, I prayed to the gods to let me see my family again. I yearned for them, but I was also yearning for safety and home. Now it’s different. I have those things, so all I have left to want is my family.

I think my feelings are stronger now because I want my family to know that I’m okay. That I’m safe.

That I’m happy.

I also want to tell them about me and Etheron, but he’s worried about what could happen if people outside of his estate found out about us. I understand his fears. Dark elves can do whatever they want to humans as long as they don’t show them too much favor.

He understands that side of things more than I do though because I still want to let me family know about our… relationship. I wouldn’t be quite sure how to characterize it though. We both seem to agree that we’ve moved beyond me just being his slave, but I don’t know what I am to Etheron.

Whenever we get close to those kinds of conversations, Etheron either leaves or deflects. I don’t know if he also doesn’t know or if there’s something else going on.

He comes to sleep with me every night, and he spends the night. And it’s not just sex. We’ve been spending time together. A lot of time. He wants me by his side, and I am more than happy to be there.

We talk about all kinds of things. He’s been teaching me about dark elf culture and telling me about the runes on his body. I’ve learned more about Etheron. His likes. His dislikes, but we haven’t had a conversation like the one we did when we visited his mother’s mausoleum.

I’m happy to hear about his favorite foods and songs and stuff, but I feel like Etheron has a wall up. One that he let down that day and then has never done it again.

Is he scared? That’s the only explanation I can come up with that makes sense.

It’s either that or he just doesn’t care enough to tell me more. I don’t think it’s the latter because of how much Etheron has done for me, but I can’t help but feel a little insecure.

There are moments where it feels like he isn’t with me. Physically, we’ll be in the same room, but his mind will be far away.

I know he has a lot on his mind. As a trusted general in the King’s army, he has a lot of responsibility, but I think it’s more than just that.

Sometimes I wonder if he regrets telling me about his family. Specifically, his mother. Clearly, her death broke him in ways I don’t think he even fully understands. I cannot fathom going through something so traumatic.

I am glad he told me because I understand him so much better now, but I would hate it if the first time Etheron’s vulnerable with me became the only time.

I’m doing my best to understand him and us and everything that is going on. It’s hard when it feels like he’s far away, but I’m trying to let go of the small things and believe in him.

He makes me feel safe. He makes me happy. Sure, there haven’t been any promises of love or forever, but this life I have with Etheron is more than I had ever hoped for. In this world, you never know when you could die.

Etheron is in constant battles, and my life had been chaos for the longest time where survival was one of the only things I could focus on. Because I’ve found happiness, I don’t want to question it too heavily.

I just want to enjoy it.

I want to enjoy whatever time I have with Etheron.

I’ve never felt this way about another person. Sure, I’ve loved family and friends, but this relationship I have with Etheron is different.

I think I’m falling in love with him. If I’m not already in love. I haven’t said it out loud yet. I don’t know if I will. A part of me worries he won’t say it back. Like I said, there haven’t been any declarations made, but it could be he’s waiting for me.

Maybe he’s scared I won’t say if he says it first.

It’s hard to look at Etheron and believe he’d be scared of anything, but he has some deep wounds from witnessing his entire family murdered in front of him.

And that’s why I wish he’d talk to me more. So, I didn’t have to wonder so much about what he’s thinking or how he feels about me.

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