Page 30 of Compassion

“Is that as good as that promise is gonna get?”

“Yup.”

“Fine. Call me later? We need to plan a weekend at the range andnotjust because I feel you could use more target practice now more than ever.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Too bad that alone isn’t enough to keep a suspect in holding.”

“Dad!”

“Love you, sugar.”

“Love you more.”

Our call ends, and the device is tucked safely into my light blue jeans back pocket. Next, I exit my room and head for the stairs, butterflies fluttering frantically around my stomach the same way they do when a new shipment of books gets delivered to me.

You know Archer’s kind of like a new book, too. He’s got pages and pages and pages that I can’t wait to read and understand and get lost in. I just…I just hope he lets me. I get keeping people at a distance – trust me, I really do – but I hope I somehow for some reason become the exception to that rule. It’d be nice to have…at the very least…a real friend again.

Upon my arrival at the garage door, I notice his missing clothes, which prompt me to politely knock as opposed to just barging in.

Again.

Although, between you and me, seeing him wet and almost naked was an amazing dessert for the eyes.

When there’s no answer, I crack the door open just a bit to investigate the situation. The sight of his deflated bed and folded bedding has me swinging it wide just in time to see him getting ready to go out the open garage.

“Wait!”

My voice initially ignites a smirk, yet he banishes it for scowl.

“Where are you going?” Trekking into the cold air is done fearlessly and without a coat. “And why are you leaving?”

The mad rush of words out of my mouth prompts him to turn my direction and challenge, “Why would I stay?”

“Why wouldn’t you stay?”

Bewilderment bumps him slightly backwards. “Why would you want me around any longer than I’ve already been?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Why are you answering my fucking questions with the same fucking questions?”

“Why are you asking these asinine questions to begin with?!”

“Why would you call them fucking asinine?”

“Because they are!” I mindlessly shriek, a little surprised at my pitch as much as my strength. “If I didn’t want you around, I wouldn’t have invited you in. And if I didn’t want you to stay, I would’ve asked you to leave. And instead of constantly forcing me to defend the decisions I’m making, how about you just look me in the eyes and tell me they’re just not the onesyouwant. That this isn’t the placeyouwant to be. That I’m not the personyouwant to be around.”

Outrage rips through his gaze at the same time he takes a step towards me. “You fucking with me right now?”

Did I just poke a bear?!

“You think I don’twantall that shit?! You think Iwantto escape the first real chance I’ve been given to be more than the homeless asshole the rest of the world spits on?!” Pain pierces his green stare, pushes me to move towards him. To get closer. To comfort him. “That’s the last fucking thing I want, Jaye.”

“Then why leave?”

“Because I don’t deserve that shit. I don’t deserveyou.”

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