Page 53 of The Arbiter

I feel Larkan's fingers entwine with mine before resting our hands in my lap. I squeeze it. He too has crawled his way under my skin just as much as Monroe. He is the guiding light that keeps me from slipping into the darkness like all the Arbiters before me. I would've been completely lost to vengeance tonight had he not been there to soothe my aching soul.

Thinking about how close I came to losing everything has me turning in my seat to look at Jamie in the back. Her legs are curled to her chest beneath a blanket as she sleeps. It breaks my heart to see not only the physical pain she carries etched so blatantly on her face, but the mark of losing Cedric as well.

The home she's going back to will no longer be the same, and Cedric's death will weigh on her for many centuries to come. I just want to hold her and scream at what my dearest friend is about to go through. I don't even care if she forgives me for not being able to save Cedric. As long as she can heal from this traumatic experience one day, I'll be okay.

An hour later, we finally pull up to The Apothecary, and I sigh in relief at seeing my beautiful home. I have a feeling I won't want to leave home for at least a few weeks after this. Monroe wakes Jamie and helps her into the club. I had called ahead to let Felix know that it was to be closed tonight so we could be left alone. Jamie needed some peace, and I needed to just relax with my two men. And shower. Definitely needed to shower. Possibly a drink too.

"I'll help her to her room then meet you both upstairs in a bit," Monroe says before leading Jamie toward the stairwell. I, however, head straight for the bar. I decided the second I looked at it that I needed a drink before a shower. Abigdrink. Larkan stops following them and treks after me instead.

"I was just wondering which you'd do first. Drink, shower, or sleep," he says, a playful smirk lighting his face.

I know he's trying to cheer me up as I look into those piercing, ice blue eyes, so I give him the best smile I can muster and reply, "Yeah, I figured one drink wouldn't hurt. The order you guessed is accurate, though. That's the exact order shit’s going to go down tonight."

Instead of walking around the bar, I simply hop over it. Larkan chuckles at the slightly stumbled landing I make. "Do you think Jamie will be okay?" he asks me as I begin pouring myself a double Nightlock Whiskey.

I sigh sadly and lean a hip against the bar. "Honestly, I don't know. She and Cedric had been together for so long, I don't know how they survived even days without each other sometimes. Him being gone will be like half of her soul is missing, and I feel helpless to do anything for her."

I tip my glass back and swallow the shot in one go. When I set the glass down, Larkan's hand folds over mine, and he rubs my knuckle with his thumb.

"She has you. She may not forgive you now, but she will in time. She needs you more than she's letting on. Just give her space but make your presence known so she can see you're here when she lets herself realize just how badly your comfort will be needed."

I let his words sink in as we fall quiet. I look around at my club. At the emptiness. The silence in here is deafening. I look up to the ceiling, willing myself not to cry as I feel tears forming in my eyes. The weight of everything I'd been carrying the last few days is surfacing hard now that I'm home. Cedric had been Jamie's husband, but he was also my friend. I loved him as much as I love Jamie. The loss of him and Enoch burns in my chest.

I suck in deep breaths of air as I start to hyperventilate, unable to hold it in anymore. All this pain is suffocating. I feel myself begin to crumble as wracking sobs escape my quivering lips, and I start to fall to my knees, but I'm enveloped in Larkan's arms. He lets me hold onto him for dear life as I let all the hurt go. I will myself to release the pain of the Damned I felt tonight. Of the pain I feel for Jamie. Everything.

I don't even feel it when Larkan picks me up bridal style and carries me upstairs. I simply cry into his neck. I'm numb to everything as he sets me down in my bathroom and starts up the shower. It's not until Monroe comes into the room and cradles my face in his hands that I'm able to focus once again.

"Please don't cry, ma chérie. We have you. Everything will be alright," he whispers gently before kissing away the tears on my cheeks.

I feel Larkan come up behind me and tear the tattered gown from my body. Monroe kneels at my feet and begins removing my shoes. He lays gentle kisses up my leg as he rises then grabs the edges of my panties and drags them down. Larkan kisses the side of my neck and removes the matted and knotted braid my hair is styled in. He then slides his hands down my sides to my hips, turning me to face him. He kisses me softly then says, "Let us wash you. You deserve to be pampered a bit before resting."

I give him a soft smile and nod. He quickly strips from his robe and shirt, leaving me with a view of his chiseled torso. Monroe steps up behind me and sweeps my hair over one shoulder to kiss and nip at the other one. I can feel his naked skin brushing against my back, bringing a flush beneath my skin. However, I never stop watching Larkan as he finishes undressing. I've yet to see him naked since the only time we were truly intimate was when he fed me his sexual energy during that stakeout.

I'm not disappointed.

Both of my gloriously bare men lead me into the shower and begin to wash me. They take turns passing the scrubber back and forth, both giving extra care to all my most sensitive areas. Their touches are sensual and slow, allowing me to revel in the feel of it all for as long as I want.

The water is black and red as we wash away the nightmare of the evening. There are no words passed between us as they caress me, kiss me, and show their love for me every passing minute. Their love is healing and beautiful. It's dark and it's light all at once and everything I need right now.

Unfortunately, I can't help the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that says this is not over yet. That where we go from here is not in a direction of peace, but one far darker than any of us could ever anticipate. And I may not be powerful enough to stop it…

I am beautiful yet deadly. I love as fiercely as I hate. I have the ability to be compassionate and the power to be cruel. I live in the light but dance in the dark.

I am the perfect balance the Creator has been looking for, and I never could have foreseen what kind of life this new power has given me.

My name is Nocturna, and I am The Arbiter.

Unknown

I watch the security monitors with eyes seething.

After all the hard work I put into not only getting Cassia killed, but also covertly collecting as many Damned as we did, it all goes down the drain. All because the Creator decided to actually give this Arbiter more power than he’s given the others in the past.

Who could’ve guessed that she’d actually work with the Rites? Cassia only tolerated the bastards. Not Nocturna. She fornicates with the enemy happily. Disgusting.

I grit my teeth and let out a rumbling growl. I only hope my mistress isn’t too displeased with my misfortune. I slam my hands down on the desk then take a deep breath in and out. What I’ve done has to be enough to give me a reprieve from her ire. I shake off the tension and quickly begin typing in the code to wipe everything from the servers. They may have taken down our establishment, but they won’t take us down with it.

After everything is wiped clean and the screens have gone blank, I hastily make my way out the emergency exit Marilith had placed in the control room. She was smart to have it created in case a quick getaway was needed. It’s one of the many reasons I love her. I’d do anything for my mistress, including betraying all those who trust me by playing both sides of the fence. She’s worth it all, and I’d gladly trade my soul to her a thousand times over.

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