We’d been driving for about ten minutes when Butch cleared his throat. “You wanna know what I think?”
I was amazed he’d kept silent for that long. “No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“You and the boss… You may be from different worlds, like you said, but you’re still meant to be together. I feel that in my bones.”
Lord, I wanted to believe that too.
“Our differences are significant, but they’re not insurmountable.” I sighed. “Sorry, Butch, but this situation can’t be fixed with a magic wand or even wishful thinking. Thanks for the advice, but you need to let us figure it out.”
“As long as youdofigure it out.”
That was the hope I was clinging to.
Robert
I went into the playroom, where the chest sat below the window.
That’s it. He’s gone.
I felt as if I was strapped to a teeter totter, vacillating between my emotions telling me I’d just made a big mistake, and logic assuring me I’d done the right thing.
I didn’t know which to believe.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and hit speed dial. Diana answered within three rings. “What’s up?”
“Toby just left.”
“Well, that’s what guests do when their vacation comes to an end.”
I said nothing.
“Wait—am I missing something here?”
“You know that ‘power dynamic’ you were talking about?” I let her do the math.
There was a pause. “Toby? And you let himleave?”
“It’s not that simple, okay?”
“Well, couldn’t you have… I don’t know… tied him to the bed, or something? That’s what youdo, right?”
Despite my aching heart, I had to laugh. “You might be a woman of the world, sis, but you don’t know as much as youthinkyou know.”Besides, I wouldn’t be the one with the rope.
“And now you’re miserable. Don’t try denying it—I can hear it in your voice. Damn him for leaving.”
“Don’t… don’t say that, all right? It’s not just Toby leaving, okay? I… I’ve been unhappy for a while now. This life… It’s getting me down. Maybe it’s time for a change.”
She went quiet for a moment. “Okay, I’m going to tell you something that maybe I should have told you a long time ago.”
My stomach clenched. “Just tell me it’s not bad news.” I didn’t think I could cope with that.
“Newt is seeing a therapist. He’s taking meds—for depression.”
“Aw sis.” She didn’t need to hear my problems. She had plenty of her own.
“Do you know what I never understood until recently? Depression doesn’t just affect the sufferer—it affects everyone around them. So yeah, I’m living with it too. There are days when I can’t get a smile out of him, and while I might’ve woken up happy, his mood kills all my joy. Not that he can help it, okay? It’s not his fault. And he willneverlearn how this makes me feel. I’ve been to a few sessions with him, and he’s getting there, slowly. The meds help. But…” She paused. “For a while there, Newt was talking about selling the dude ranch, about moving…”
Shit.