Page 49 of Reckless Liar

“Don’t encourage him, Ana.” Xander said, trapping my free hand. “He’s a kid, you’ll devour him.”

I laughed at his analogy. “Please, like I’m even remotely capable of doing that.”

“You absolutely are. How do you think I feel?” His face clouded as he stared at me, causing me to stop laughing. “My crew can only take one heartbroken employee at a time, Ana. You’d wreck him.”

I leaned forward, my voice barely above a whisper. “Is that what you think I’m doing to you?”

“I know it is.” He wasn’t trying to be cruel, his face open to me.

“I don’t want you to be heartbroken.” I said, my chest splintering at his admission. We stared at each other for a long moment, the car suddenly feeling far too small to hold everything we had between us.

“I’ve felt this way a long time, Ana. I know how to cope,” he assured me. “I can function with it.”

I pulled away, closing my eyes. “I know what you want from me Xander. I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

“I know you aren’t there yet.”

I turned my head to study him. “This could go wrong; it could go so wrong and then where would that leave us?”

“It won’t, Ana,” he whispered.

“I can’t lose you. I can barely keep myself together these days. Don’t ask me to risk you over something that you’re not sure of.”

He sat up, his mouth in a grim line. “But I am sure. I’ve always been sure of us.”

“You say always, what does that even mean? How long could that be, really?” I ask. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer, but I couldn’t help myself.

He leaned forward, tucking his knee up closer to his body. He rested his elbows on his knees as he considered me. “Since our first kiss, probably. On and off through the years. But it became real when we were freshmen. We were partners for that history project, remember?”

“We wrote a play where time travelers went through American history and explained the significance of events to the people they met,” I recalled.

He smiled at the memory. “You remember what the teacher wrote on our final draft?”

I laughed. “Yeah,great work Liliana! I wonder what portion Alexander contributed?”

His smile faded. “There was a moment when we were researching, both of us were on the floor of your living room, books all around us. You rolled over and closed your eyes and started complaining about how much work we still had to do. You threw your arm over your face and pretended to sleep and even though you weren’t being funny, I laughed. Without thinking I offered to finish the research for you. I realized in that moment I’d have done anything for you. I wanted to kiss you so bad, but you were dating my best friend. So, I sat up and grabbed all my things and made some excuse about needing to get home.”

“You never told me,” I murmured. “In all the time we’ve spent together when we were young, you never told me.”

“When could I? You were always with Max, or getting over Max, or mourning Max. There was never room in your life for anyone else.”

“But if you would’ve told me sooner… Who knows what would’ve happened if you would’ve kissed me that day, or that day on the couch at Scarlett’s, or all those other times you could have? Maybe if you had…”

“It wouldn’t have made a difference, Ana. Not then. I’m not going to delude myself into thinking that if I’d been more forward, you would’ve chosen me over Max. I knew better than that. If he hadn’t left us, you guys would still be together, and I’d still be on the sidelines watching you.”

I thought about contradicting him, but I couldn’t. He was right. Max was never going to be done with me. What we had was too strong. He was so big in my life; I couldn’t see anyone else. “You’re probably right.”

He leaned closer to me, cupping my cheek in his hand. “I’m still waiting Ana. Until you tell me to stop, I’ll keep waiting for you.”

I dropped my eyes to his lips, they looked so smooth. Hadn’t I been thinking about kissing them? Hadn’t I wanted to feel him against me? In the breadth of my car, with all our admissions between us, I couldn’t remember why I didn’t want to kiss him or why I was holding back.

Slowly I leaned forward to press my lips against his. He froze for a moment, and I wondered if I’d misjudged the situation entirely. Then he pushed back with his mouth, meeting me with renewed vigor. His kiss deepened and his tongue came out to brush lightly against my lower lip. Slowly he rubbed his thumb under my chin, coaxing me closer, to give myself over to him. Without breaking our kiss, I folded my legs up underneath me, leaning across the console to get closer to him. He grabbed my hips and held them steady as his kiss slowed. I gripped his forearms, strong and thick from his job.

Blood boiled under my skin as I fought to be closer to him. His hands came around my waist, his thumbs above my hip bones. I dug my nails into his jacket, losing myself in him.

A horn honked, breaking us apart. It was the tow truck coming to rescue me. We stared at each other, breathless, as the sound of the tow truck parking in front of us became a cacophony inside my car. He pulled away dropping his hands.

“I’ll go talk to the driver real quick,” he said, his voice husky from my kiss. I nodded at him, glad for the sudden reprieve. He hesitated for a moment, his expression torn, before he cupped my cheek, his thumb rubbing against my lower lip. I sat, breathless as he clambered out of the car.

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