Page 16 of The One You Chose

Setting my thumb inside the book to mark my spot I lowered it to my lap. “Yeah.”

He glanced at the cover. A tanned, shirtless man about to kiss a woman in a red satin dress that was falling off her shoulders. “Looks very... cerebral.”

Shoving the cardboard coffee sleeve between the pages, I put the book down on the table. “How many books do you read a year?”

He seemed to take the comment for an invitation. He settled into the leather chair beside me, his khakis showed signs of being hemmed over his stark white shoes. How he managed to not get those dirty in the perpetually grimy streets was a mystery. He probably cleaned them with a special toothbrush. I had nothing against a man who had high standards for cleanliness; it was better than the alternative, but something about his pristine white shoes rankled me. The night I met Fitz, he had slightly scuffed boots on, clean but obviously worn for function.

Beside me Chad spread his knees wide, his leg bumping against mine as he took up space in the small corner I held. I angled my legs away.

“Five to ten, I’d say. Mostly nonfiction. The last book I read was postmodern structuralism. It was a fascinating look at Cultural Materialism and I think...”

Realizing that he wasn’t going to leave me alone, I interrupted him. “I read about a book a week. While this book isn’t for nihilists who like to think themselves into holes, there’s no reason to be derisive about my choice in reading. I don’t belittle your choice to spend your days at a driving range.”

“I don’t... That is to say...” Chad wiggled his shoulder as if he could shake off the direction the conversation was going. Keeping my face blank I watched as he squirmed. Rubbing a hand over the back of his neck he had the decency to look chagrined. “I was just making a joke.”

Leaning forward, I lowered her voice, “I sincerely hope that you have a better sense of humor than to make fun of a book that is a heavily researched look at class differences and gender inequity, all while having a compelling plot, is sex-positive and has complex representations of female characters.”

His already pink cheeks managed a darker shade at my words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by my comments. When I saw you sitting over here and after our quick conversation when I was picking up Kylie, I wanted to talk to you again.”

Softening, I sat back in my chair. Just because Fitz had ghosted me didn’t mean that all guys were garbage. “Sorry, I’m a little grumpy. I like your hat.” I motioned to his head. “Their song,Consecrated Bedsis one of my favorites.”

Chad pulled his hat off his head, to look at the front. His blonde hair was smashed against his skull in the front. “Oh, yeah, these guys are great.”

Narrowing my eyes, I paused. “You know it’s an all-girl band, right?”

Zoya and I had seen them a year before at the Showbox Sodo. While the lead singer had an androgynous voice, she was female-identifying and named Lacy. They were nominated best new artist at the Grammy’s a few years before.

Chad coughed, “Uh, yeah, totally, I meant guys the way I call everyone dude. Gender neutral, of course.”

I nodded along, though I doubted him. He’s likely never wearing that hat again. “Sure, okay.”

The barista called out an order for a black drip. Chad stood to get the coffee. Why would he order a drip at a coffee shop? You can make drip at home. Coffee shops are for drinks you can’t make yourself. I brought my book back up to my face. Viscount Rodolphe was now inspecting a small birthmark on Lady Beatrice’s wrist with a single finger.

The leather chair beside mine made a low farting noise as Chad sat back down. I considered ignoring him. A woman reading a romance novel in public should be enough of a fuck-off sign, but this man didn’t take a hint.

Loudly slurping his coffee he watched me as I read. I had to reread the line about Viscount Rodolphe saying her smile was like the waxing moon, growing in light each day. Normally I’d get a little heart swoon after a soapy line like that but with Chad staring at me it fell flat.

Setting the book down on my lap I looked over at him. “Look, Chad. You seem like a nice guy, but I’m not interested in dating right now.”

“Was it because I canceled? Because, I really had a work emergency. It wasn’t some bullshit excuse.”

I shook my head. “No, nothing like that. I’m just not feeling it.” There wasn’t a way I could tell him that no matter how good a guy he was, there was no interest for me when I had the most passionate night of my life with a stranger only weeks before. I didn’t have to go out with Chad to know there was no spark between us. Even his shoes annoyed me.

“Are you seeing someone else? I don’t get it, I have a lot going for me, Lina. I have a good job, make stacks, have good hair. I can deadlift two twenty. Plenty of chicks want me.”

My teeth scraped against my lower lip as I tried not to laugh. Did he think that was impressive? Pink was creeping up his neck as he stared me down.

“Your loss, like I said, I can get other girls, hotter girls. You have no idea what you’re missing.”

“Okay,” I agreed. Bringing my book back up to my face I reread the first sentence. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chad glaring at me before getting up with a huff, his drip coffee gripped so tight in his hand I thought it might burst.

Chad stomped away, shouldering the door open forcefully. Once he was on the other side of the door, I opened the book back up, scanning the lines until I found where I left off. The fire inside their room was burning low and I could tell they were about to kiss, but I couldn’t get into it anymore. Sour mood, I set the book down and tilted my head back.

I couldn’t spare a moment of regret for letting Chad down. In all honesty, I should have been rude. He wasn’t the man for me.I lift two-twenty. Geez, I didn’t know or care to know about weightlifting. If he thought I was that kind of woman we were not a good fit.

Why was dating so hard? They all said they wanted a nice girl, but what they meant was a meek girl. An accessory not an autonomous person with her own interests and life. This wasn’t about Chad and his egotistical rant. It was every man I had met before him; it was the dumb chin nod Matt Hanson gave me and the way my last ex-boyfriend kept correcting my pronunciation of words in front of others.

While I should have known better, I thought what I had with Fitz was different. Special, even. But I must have been wrong about him too.

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