Page 122 of Heartbeat

“You mean Shakespeare?”

“Marlowe,” he said. “She had this quote she absolutely adored.”

“Which quote?”

“‘It lies not in our power to love or hate, for will in us is overruled by fate,’” he recited, perfectly. “She used to quote him all the time—but that was her favorite.”

“Okay, Grandma Cooper sounds awesome.”

He went quiet for the longest time, immersed in thought.

“When I was fifteen, she—she and her friends were going on this cruise. It was supposed to circle the globe; she was absolutely thrilled about it. She went for a checkup before the trip and found out she was sick. Three months later, she was gone.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said, and I could tell it had the same effect it had on me when people said that. But I was; I was so sorry. “I’m sorry you don’t have her in your life anymore.”

“Thanks, babe,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

“She did a good job though.”

He smiled. “When she died I—I didn’t really take it that well. That’s when my mom thought it best if I medicated. I started seeing a friend of hers, and she put me on some pills and…it helped, a little.”

“It did?”

“I mean, she was still gone, but—” He went silent for a beat. “It helped me be less angry.”

“I can’t imagine you angry.” I shook my head.

“Oh, I get angry.”

I loved how he tried to seem less awesome sometimes.

“Do they help you?” he asked quietly.

“My meds?”

“Uh-huh.”

“It took a while until I got the right dosage. You know, without thinking about or actually doing something stupid. It wasn’t until recently that I could truly say the pills can help.”

He was quiet for a few more moments, and I could tell he was thinking something but refusing to say.

“I’m sorry you felt lonely,” I told him. “And that you had to go through what you did when she died.”

“She would’ve loved you though.”

“Yeah?” I looked up at him.

“She left me clear instructions as to what kind of people I should get involved with. ‘Sweet, kind, or good. Preferably all three,’ she used to say.”

“Are you telling me we can’t see each other anymore?” I teased, still looking up at him.

I somewhat meant it though.

He pulled me close and kissed me.

“I’m saying I took her advice.” He kissed me again.

I was afraid to ask which of the three categories he thought I fell into.

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