Page 134 of Heartbeat

“Well, I saw you. I started going in earlier just so I’d be able to see you walk in.”

He smiled, and then he tilted his head to the side. “Tom, what’s going on?”

“I didn’t—I never thought I’d feel anything again, you know? But I did. With you. You know that, right?”

“Okay, you really need to tell me what’s going on.”

“Why did you go to that coffee shop?”

“That’s where I go, whenever my mom—”

“—is seeing a patient?”

“Yeah, how did you…”

“Alicia Foster, PhD,” I interrupted him again. “She’s your mom, isn’t she?” I could barely look him in the eye. He looked so confused.

“Y-yeah. How—”

“She’s my therapist, Ethan.”

“What!” he said, his eyes widening.

I started shaking my head repeatedly, without really saying anything. He was clearly trying to make sense of it. Had it been the other way around, he would’ve remained silent as I took my time, patiently waiting until I was ready to speak. But I couldn’t do that. I felt as though I had no time left, as if whatever needed to be said had to be done at once—or not at all.

“We can’t do this,” I told him.

“What?” he asked, puzzled. “What are you talking about?”

“I came to tell you we can’t—”

“Look, babe,” he said fondly, but it felt like daggers on my skin. “You need to explain it better. I—I don’t understand. How is my mom your therapist?”

“I dunno. I don’t— I just know that she is.”

“Well…shit,” he said, then after a beat, asked, “What does that mean?”

“It means we can’t see each other anymore.”

“But we—we don’t really discuss your sessions. It’s not like I influence you or go back home and tell her stuff. I barely talk to my mom.”

“It’s still a conflict.”

“But—how long?”

“Not until she hands my case to a friend of hers.”

“How long will that take?” He frowned.

“A while, she said. I don’t really know, but…until then, we can’t—I can’t see you.”

“But…I don’t want to stop seeing you,” he said sadly.

“Me neither,” I told him with my head down.

He kept watching me as I shook, sometimes raising his hand as though to reach for mine, but…he didn’t.

“What if we’re extra careful? We can try to keep my mother out of the loop,” he said. “If she finds out… I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?”

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