Page 139 of Heartbeat

“I know.” He watched as I emptied the glass. “You need to reverse it.”

“I-it?” I hiccupped.

“Whatever lunacy you convinced yourself to do to the poor guy.”

“Did you just call me crazy?” I asked, somewhat insulted.

“No, I said you do crazy shit. There’s a difference.”

“There is?”

“Uh-huh.” He nodded.

“It isn’t crazy though. And there was no actual breaking up. It’s all sorta…undefined.”

“How do you mean?”

“I don’t know what the fuck I mean anymore, man.” I shook my head.

“Look,” he said. “Granted. It’s messed up. But why break up?”

“We didn’t—”

“Whatever.” He waved his hand in front of my face.

“First of all, we can’t see each other—”

“—for a while. Yeah, you said.”

“Yeah, however long ‘a while’ is.” I rolled my eyes.

“Why do it though?”

“I told his mom I took his virginity.”

Jonas laughed so hard he almost choked on his pasta, then proceeded to continue laughing for another minute.

“As I said.” He wiped his face and dried his tears. “Messed up.” He laughed some more.

I waited for him to have his little moment.

“Still. That’s not why you did it,” he finally said.

“Yes, it is.”

“Tommy.”

“What?”

“Why, bro?”

I reached for the bottle, but he grabbed it and pulled it close to him before I could get to it.

“Do you want me to answer or not?” I said defiantly.

“I’m afraid to even think about what you’ll be like in college.” He handed me the bottle so I could fill up my glass.

“I took his firsts,” I said quietly.

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