Page 57 of Heartbeat

“Out of the blue?”

“Why is that a thing? ‘Out of the blue.’ Why do you think people say that? Why ‘blue’?”

“Why not blue?”

I rolled my eyes. “Ugh, you’re such a therapist.”

She smiled. “Why are you nervous?”

“Because Jonas showed up at Grant? Keep up.”

Again, a smile.

“Summer mentioned seeing me, so he ambushed me. His words.”

“Interesting.”

“Ain’t it?” I said, and even I knew I’d earned that double eyebrow raise. “I need to tell him.”

“Tell him what?”

“Why I’ve been absent. Thing is—”

“You don’t know how?”

“I don’t want to. And, yeah, that too.”

“It looked like you were handling it quite well.”

“No, I was confusing the shit out of him. Talking about versions.”

“Versions?”

“He mentioned being happy I was feeling like myself…again.”

“Oh. I see.”

“The again kinda set me off.”

“I’d deduced as much. Go on.”

“So I was telling him how there is no going back. But even I couldn’t understand what the fuck I was going on about—”

“Thomas.”

“Huh?”

“Breathe.”

I took a deep breath.

“Explain it to me.”

“What?”

“Why can’t you go back?”

“There’s nothing to go back to.”

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