Page 65 of Heartbeat

“You need to bring it up, man,” Jonas said.

“I know. I was going to today, but we just kept being interrupted, and I don’t want to say it over a text.”

“And still, he asked you out? Shit, the guy’s in love,” he said, rather impressed.

“Don’t fucking joke.”

“How is it going to work though? With your parents.”

“I dunno. I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Are you, like, scared to tell them you’re also into guys?”

“Nah, I don’t think they’d care. To be honest, the fact that I’m capable of having any feelings at all would probably be taken as a good sign.”

“Okay. I’ll pretend I didn’t just hear you admit to having feelings for the jock,” he said. “I still don’t get why not tell them.”

“I don’t— For too long I’ve been sort of living this life that has very little privacy to it, you know what I mean?”

“Maybe,” he said, obviously not really getting it.

“I mean, so much about my life is monitored. Everything is discussed, at length, by several people, all the fucking time.”

“Oh.”

“And I get it, I do,” I said. “It’s just—I don’t want to share this.”

Him.

We were quiet for a moment.

“It’s not like Summer, is it?” Jonas asked, suddenly serious. “This time it’s—”

More.

“—different,” I said.

*

“This smells delicious, Mrs. Hart,” Jonas said, practically shoving his face into the saucepan.

“I know you love my carbonara,” Mom said, absolutely elated.

“Come on you two, sit.” Dad signaled two empty chairs at the kitchen table.

Noah sat next to him, eyes fixed on the screen of his phone. Earbuds in, as usual.

“Actually, I’m not staying,” I announced, and both Mom and Dad turned to me on the spot.

“What?” they said, in unison.

“I can’t stay; I made plans.”

“Reschedule,” Mom ordered. “Jonas is here.”

“Please, how many times have I gone out and Jonas just stayed here and hung out with you guys? He spends more time with you than I do.”

“And whose fault is that?” Dad asked, annoyed.

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