Page 102 of Heartbeat

Thing was, I actually wanted her opinion on this particular matter.

“Am I bad for him, do you think?” I asked, turning back to looking out the window.

“What?”

I let my head fall back and couldn’t help but let out a breathy sigh. She knew how much I hated repeating something we both were very much aware she’d heard and was only getting me to say it so I’d work it out for myself.

“Why would you be bad for him?”

“I dunno,” I told her. “Maybe I just…am.”

“Okay, why are you bad?”

I took a few moments before speaking. A little boy wearing a baseball cap sat on the steps of a brownstone across the street, anxiously tapping his feet as he waited for something. I wanted to find out what it was. For some reason, I thought he might have been waiting for someone to bring him ice cream. A parent or a sibling. He looked so happy, though, so maybe he was waiting for a grandparent.

“You know, I had the best two days,” I said, still watching the little boy. Both of us waiting for…something.

“You did?” she asked, almost certainly smiling.

“Uh-huh.” I nodded. “I never once felt…weird.”

“Weird?”

“Off.”

“Like you usually do?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“What did you feel?”

“All of it,” I quietly said, taking a deep breath.

I might have whispered it, but she’d heard me.

“You were right, then?” she asked.

“What about?”

“This boy. And his kindness.”

I smiled.

“Why don’t you come sit down?” she asked.

“In a minute,” I told her as I watched the little boy.

Suddenly, all of his anxiety seemed to melt away, his nervous expression replaced by the biggest of grins. He stood and ran into the arms of an elderly lady with lustrous gray hair. As he disappeared into what must’ve been the warmest of embraces, I turned around and slowly made my way to the couch, feeling as though watching for another second would somehow be intrusive.

“What happened today?” Dr. Foster asked.

“I saw Marcy,” I said, sitting in my usual spot.

“You did?” she asked, with an unreadable expression on her face.

It wasn’t surprise, neither was it intrigue. Maybe, amazement?

No, that wasn’t it.

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